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ID: 6534


November 21, 2011, 12:54 am

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The Shimmering Veil


Moon Water Jewel was a woman of breathtaking beauty, so no ordinary gift would do.


A translucent veil of pure white silk, this enchanted cloth is embroidered along each edge with convoluted arabesques of golden thread. Tiny motes of light shimmer within its flawless fabric, drawing the gaze of all who behold it. 

Benefits and Drawbacks: The Power of the Veil

Worn by a woman of moderate charms, the Veil of Moon-Water-Jewel amplifies her skills of seduction and charm, giving her the abilities of a veteran dancer and courtesan. 

Only when donned by a woman of truly remarkable beauty does the veil’s terrible full power become apparent.  Such a paragon gains the supernatural ability to fascinate those who behold her dancing, drawing the gaze of all but the most strong-willed observers.  A passionate, covetous lust possesses them, filling them with the desire to possess its wearer, as if she were a cloak or jewel they could own.  Blinded to honor or decency, those enthralled by the veil stop at nothing to have its wearer.


Enthralled by the incomparable beauty of the concubine named Moon Water Jewel, the flawless jewel of his harem, the Sultan of the Argent Sands sought to bestow a worthy token upon her.  Finding a veil of flawless silk, the unfortunate ruler drew upon the power of a bound ifrit to enchant his gift, demanding that the veil be enspelled such that its wearer would inflame the passion of even a eunuch.  Sensing the flaw in the thoughtless Sultan's request, the cruel creature complied without delay, swiftly enchanting the veil into a shimmering lure for the unwary.

Ordering Moon Water Jewel to dance before his court, the Sultan reveled in the courtiers' growing frustration and envy.  The foolish ruler failed to see the dark lust stealing into his courtiers' hearts.  He laughed at their obvious arousal and discomfort, right up to the moment when one man rose to plunge a razor-bright jambiya into his ruler's heart.  Before the night was done, the Sultan's court was decimated, every man within it seeking to cut down the others and steal away with the lovely concubine.

Loyal to her foolish Sultan, Moon Water Jewel soon escaped the hands of those who sought to despoil her.  She drank deeply of the Elixir of the Endless Night, her soul following her sultan's to its reward. 

The veil’s subsequent history is just as grim.  Wherever it has appeared, a succession of frenzied murders and assaults has soon arisen.  Calling forth lust's darkest aspects, the veil unleashes chaos and horror in its wake. 

Twist: Shadows of the Past

An oft-unexpected aspect of the veil's power is the misforune it draws to those who claim it.  Those who don the veil often sense a malevolent spirit following them, an ominous presence wishing them ill.  The accursed veil has lured hundreds to their doom:  Its dark power causes divinations attempted in its presence to predict nothing but sorrow and despair.

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Comments ( 10 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

November 18, 2011, 1:31

If I need to modify it to adhere to the format, I will, but I preferred the text the way I wrote it.  It has all the required information.

Voted valadaar
November 19, 2011, 18:05

I think this sub is very good - its great to see you posting again Wulf!

The phrasing of the quest indicates that the format is required.  I think the idea is that you have a whole library of these that follow the format, making it easy to assess the subs for what you are looking for.



November 20, 2011, 0:06
Update: I changed the submission to more closely conform with the required format. I did leave benefits and drawbacks together, as they are intertwined.
Voted Chaosmark
November 20, 2011, 21:37

I LIKE this. Simplicity, elegance, and solid substance, all wrapped into a tidy package with a good backstory. Excellent work.

Voted MysticMoon
November 23, 2011, 14:29

So many possibilities for sowing chaos and destruction with this :)

Voted Dossta
December 2, 2011, 0:47

I can't imagine that many good women would wear this thing willingly, if the evil presence becomes apparent to anyone who puts it on.  It could be given as a gift, though, by someone who wishes them harm.  Anyone who dons this knowingly probably has evil intentions already, and deserves their eventual fate.  What good does seducing the crown prince do, if he will be killed by his own guards shortly after?

Voted Strolen
January 8, 2012, 9:04

Looks like a nice gift for an ugly, deformed chick. Anybody else is screwed!

Can it not be destroyed? Seems like at some point somebody would burn it or it would destroyed during the "capture" since the aim of the lust is the person wearing it, they wouldn't even notice the clothes they were shredding.

Voted axlerowes
February 24, 2012, 22:42

Oh those middle east boys and their harems, when will they learn that female sexuality is really dangerous and women should use less magical thicker vei......never mind.  

Could this go in the fantasy fabric codex?  I wonder if really focused and esoteric items should be packaged more as plots than stand alone items?   This seems more like a kick off for an unpleasent or uncomfortable situation then an item that can be used or manipulated closely.  What if  a dude wore it or a Gorgon? Maybe a Gorgon could use this to hit some social events.  



Voted RHHale
December 11, 2012, 19:50
Only voted
Voted Moonlake
June 7, 2015, 3:27
I like the intertwined benefit and drawback but I somehow feel that the twist section is a letdown, it seems to me this side-effect should really be expected rather than unexpected. But overall, I like this straight-forward sub.

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