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axlerowes's Profile

Our Author's latest news and articles.

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axlerowes - Social Profile

- Highest Master Adept of Fanciful Text

For Next Level: 24938xp of 44140xp complete.
24938xp

Hall of Honour

54 HoH

Golden

0 Golden

Quests

9 Quests
- RANDOM
Systems | 105xp

Slang and Jargon Beneath the Waves: The Big Under

'Top, my name is Brock Figglewater, I knew your aunt. I tap a piece of pillow that belonged to your aunt, and I jump belongs to you now. You see, I just bought this Stimech, and I jump it was stolen by a bruce named Horace. Horace was a pream tattle of mine. Three weeks ago, I let Horace take out my pream stimech to go bounce along the billibong looking for bubblely-bobs to bring to the spitter's patch. Horace says he ran into some boom sauce and had to hop out of the stimech in just a tater sack. I cannot jump that Hoarace bounced 5 kims across the pillow in a tater sack. I have tapped spitter dops on the Big Under pillow for years, I ain't no trainer. I ain't rigged to swallow dry sand, and I washed Hoarace. But I need my stimech back, and I ain't got the press to go all over the Big Under boiling Hoarce's peals of truth. I need your help.'

- RANDOM
NPCs | 165xp

The Order of the Single Cut-Iota Company

A whole company of NPCs that can do the mundane jobs while the PCs do the hero stuff.

- RANDOM
NPCs | 65xp

Igor Smirnosky (King's Justice and Devotee of the Way of Roarck)

An old Devotee of the Way of Roarck and High Official in the Kingdom of Parna

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Guilds
“ The food that eats you back. Creatures of nightmare, the thankfully rare Mesnoi have unique form and attributes. Only one Mesnoi at a time will ever be 'encountered'. In appearance, a Mesnoi resembles a walnut-sized chunk of freshly-roasted red meat from some uncertain yet familiar, edible animal. The insidious creature camouflages itself quite appropriately whenever it can, by slowly making its way amidst feast tables and trays of roasted meats. Once eaten by the unsuspecting, the Mesnoi sinks down to the stomach, reforming if chewed, and begins to lap up the gastric fluids, digestive juices, and bile that it craves, like a sponge. The Mesnoi carrier will experience mild to severe stomach pains during this time. After a few hours of this (this is the only time that the Mesnoi can be purged with magic, or other mundane means), the Mesnoi transforms into its true form inside its victim, that of a miniature, once more walnut-sized, pot-bellied, devil-horned, snake-tailed imp. This horrid little creature then begins to chew and eat its way out of the victim from the inside out with its tiny, razor-sharp teeth, like a rat forced to do so via torture. The victim almost always dies a slow, agonizing death. That much is certain. The devilish imp then exits its victim and begins its seventy two hour existence of mischief and malevolence, until it once more turns back into a hunk of roasted meat with the movement capabilities of a snail.”
Murometz
“ Golden coins that turn to lead within a few hours of being taken from their place of origin, causing a lot of trouble for whoever spends them.”
Cheka Man
“ <b>THE COVEN</b> When the characters approach a clearing in the forest, they will see 4 ogres who are guarding, and preventing from escape, 4 human males, and 3 human females. The ogres will see the party and leap to attack. The females will scream 'OUR SAVIORS!!' and run screaming straight across the currently forming battlefield, in between ogres and party members, to hide behind the rearmost party members. They will be safe there. The males will try to skirt the battle to the north side to join the women. To the south, giants will be hiding in the thick underbrush until the party has engaged the ogres and then attack the most opportune target EXCEPT the ones that the females are next to. It should be noted that the female commoners are not female commoners at all, nor are the male commoners actually male commoners. The female commoners are the hags, who have polymorphed themselves as the commoners in their stewpot to escape detection. The males skirting the battle are actually MORE ogres, the hags were in the process of polymorphing ALL the ogres into regular humans for ambush purposes. The REAL commoners are already dead, having found their way into the coven's cauldron for dinner. The hags (the women) will position themselves near to any spellcasters in the rear first, and then near anyone else in the back of the fight. The ogres (the men) will wait until the hags shift form, and then attack first the rear folks, then shift into the melee. It is possible that the characters, as they approach the ogres, will notice the giants in the bush, and be able to warn the others of the ambush. <i>GAME NOTES</i>: If you sell the screaming women correctly, they will not even be suspected until it is too late. Therein lay the problem. This encounter is ESPECIALLY deadly to the rear eschelon of the party. It is entirely possible that the hags will finish off half the party before they even realize they have been duped. Caution is required if the game master wishes to avoid a TPK(total party kill).”
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