"Wear this ring, My Student, and you will never perform another act of perversion and thus remain pure."

"All I could do was stare as my strange opponent hefted his key-like lance. He told me my armor would only hinder me in this fight. I didn’t believe him at the time, but he was right."

Soft, squeezable, and potentially deadly. Mallow is to be cuddled and feared!

With a twitch of the leg and the push of a button; Houston's boots emitted a massive amount of steam and he was sent headlong into the air.

The follow string of Mirror-folk evolutions, Mihradhz, Mihrral, and Mihradamagus, are collectively known as The Mirr. They are all curious and slightly annoying, each in their own way. They advance through their lives by pestering the rare mortals who visit their plane.

The Master walked over to the strange symmetrical mechanism. He flipped it over... The sands of the hourglass began to flow and it whirred to life. "One hour," said The Master, "Practice."

Bringing more fantastic elements to the old classic.

A wet brown sack... FULL OF MAGGOTS!

She wore an odd blue gem stud in her navel, it was a very attractive piece of jewlery. But, I just couldn't seem to get her drunk.

He had done it a hundred times, taken eyes. It was so easy by now, he rarely used a spoon or knife, but, with his own fingers, would pilfer those beautiful orbs from the skulls of the deceased...

"Are you crazy? There ain't no such thing. It's all fairy tales for the stupid and desperate. Even if it were, they all say it's cursed or something. Get back to work."

A ShortBow created by a community of Gnomes who liked to simplify things. It has three strings. Each string has a very different effect.

'Music is the wine which inspires one to new generative processes, and I am Bacchus who presses out this glorious wine for mankind and makes them spiritually drunken.' ~Ludwig van Beethoven

The secret device behind the most feared corrosive substance to ever plague the mortal realms.

Ever wonder what secret a Wizard's beard holds? How did it get so long? Has this man really not shaved for that long?

30 Orcish Ornamentations of Outlandish Awesomeness and Some Ordinarily Uninteresting Objects Overcome with Ogreish Opulence!

Drink deep from the Moon-Cup, let its powers quench your thirst, or even save your marriage.

The Necronautilus is a huge undead whale used to transport undead and their masters secretly.

You see a glowing figure, four feel tall, it looks like it has been waiting for you. Suddenly, it flies right through you, and it looks like its coming around for another pass...

'One for you,' He mumbled, pouring some rum onto his boots, 'And a few gulps for me, and we’re off.'

He took a large gulp from the bottle, put his boots on, and was out the door in a flash.