'Music is the wine which inspires one to new generative processes, and I am Bacchus who presses out this glorious wine for mankind and makes them spiritually drunken.' ~Ludwig van Beethoven

“Oh look, a glass wall between us and the treasure.”

Ever wonder what secret a Wizard's beard holds? How did it get so long? Has this man really not shaved for that long?

Why is all the rum gone?
That crazy fellow over there just poured it all into his boots!
Now with Bonus Item!

Drink deep from the Moon-Cup, let its powers quench your thirst, or even save your marriage.

Soft, squeezable, and potentially deadly. Mallow is to be cuddled and feared!

These are the Gods of Food and Eating! Beware their culinary prowess and tremble before the might of their cookery! These are... More Placeholder Gods!

Who would want to make food you can’t eat? What purpose does this insane oven exist for?

The Assassin looked at the scroll, smiled and put it away. His work was done...

'One for you,' He mumbled, pouring some rum onto his boots, 'And a few gulps for me, and we’re off.'

He took a large gulp from the bottle, put his boots on, and was out the door in a flash.

The secret device behind the most feared corrosive substance to ever plague the mortal realms.

As soon as he had set his eyes upon The Sword of all Swords he knew it must be the perfect blade for him. And he would stop at nothing to possess it!

"Are you crazy? There ain't no such thing. It's all fairy tales for the stupid and desperate. Even if it were, they all say it's cursed or something. Get back to work."

This is a wretched tome of oceanic blasphemy; a foul water-stained, bone-white binder of bitter dead-men's secrets and a guide to Nautical Necromancy useful in the hands of the young sea-faring necromancer or the Great Lich Umeen herself.

Here we go! Everything you need for the next barfight that railroads the players into a party. Yes!

"All I could do was stare as my strange opponent hefted his key-like lance. He told me my armor would only hinder me in this fight. I didn’t believe him at the time, but he was right."

Bringing more fantastic elements to the old classic.

You see a glowing figure, four feel tall, it looks like it has been waiting for you. Suddenly, it flies right through you, and it looks like its coming around for another pass...

Don't run blindly for the silver vein or you will never see that what you seek is pain.

"Aww, dang, did you fart again?" asked the Jordy, The Knight.
"No, screw you! I didn't fart in the first place!" replied The Scoundrel, Harris. What they didn't know was that the Smelbinders could hear their every word.