This humorous short fiction piece was inspired by a late night chat with a couple gamer friends about how alien cultures would possibly interpret some of the more "colorful" aspects of our society.

There are places, you have to understand, where the dimensions-I'm not talking about that parallel dimension metaphysical stuff, I mean dimensions like length and breadth and time-where they curl into themselves, and begin to fester. Where foul things evolve and spread...

'I can acquire the item you seek, for a price… No I assure you the presence of dark tainted evils will in no way impede my ability to recover this artifact for you, now let’s discuss the details…'

(A character for the Warhammer Fantasy rpg setting, but can be easily adapted to any fantasy setting.)

How to make combat interesting and more than: "Well, I’m going to hit him with my sword."

Freya is very tall and thin, you would know her if you saw her, for her eyes are shining from within. her face beautifully adorned teeth razor sharp; her clothes of the softest silk and her voice as soft as a harp. She sways her head from side to side, with movements like a snake; And when you think she's half asleep, she's really wide awake!

a dossier of peoples of the wasteland according to several sources

Dossier on the individual colloquially known as Mr. Invulnerable

A sub-project of the Guild of Technomancers Project: METATRON. Consisting of a high quality platemail suit of armor with a Metatronic Interface integrated directly into the helmet. Currently registered to a Sir. Lancelot Williams as the owner.

Dossier File on the Tankado Clan samurai Miyake Suesuke, who is attached to symbiotic armor. For use with the Legend of the Five Rings RPG.

The Minotaur known as Francis is asking for some adventurers to help him navigate this place as he maps it out for his Blogg site.

Dossier file on the peasant rice farmer Kaneko Mitsuhiko. Currently hiding in an abandoned castle with his family and friends. Being hunted by the Lion Clan. This is intended to be used in the Legend of the 5 Rings RPG. 

Dossier file on the peasant known as Gregory Compton, currently being sought by the king for illegally possessing weapons and armor. And the Guild of Technomancers for unknown reasons.

Dossier file on the cowardly knight Sir. Lancelot Williams. Current owner of a prototype suit of armor designed by the Guild of Technomancers for a project called METATRON.

The first post-Power Armor/Mecha heavy infantry support weapon fielded by the Atlantic Commonwealth

Dossier file on the Duelist Courtier known as Alden Herington. A toxic person in the kingdom.

Dossier file on the so-called Vanguard King known for his habit of riding out ahead the main army with a small force of royal soldiers. Reckless but still brave nonetheless.

"DEI, QUOD RELIQUUM EST, NOLITE METUERE, ET OSSA TUA LIBERABIT, EXSPECTANS" ~Inscription found on the edge of the metal portal.

This is based in a DOOM Eternal setting.

An abandoned Dwarven mine converted into a Elfthereum mine but is currently inactive. Alagossa Thexisys is looking for a group of brave adventurers to restore it.

Dossier file on Sir William Frank, an errant knight with a notorious bloodlust.

"I found a bandit camp nearby. I was dealing with that." ~Sir William Frank after returning to an adventuring party with armor spattered in blood and sword soaked in gore.

“A secret technomancer base? Under this fine establishment? Surely you jest. There is no reason for them to do something like that. Stop being silly and enjoy yourselves.” ~Prince Willem Cobalt.

“Yeah there are a some technomancers who frequent this place. I am not sure what they do nor where they go though.” ~Hostess Margret Badby.