There lived, on an island called Guu, a girl, who’s name was Firefly River. Firefly River was a small girl, who had not seen sixteen years, and most agreed that she had not all her wits. Her father, for all his effort, had no success in marrying her to a good man, and, though he loved his daughter, began to despair of ever getting her into a fine hearth and motherhood.
There lived also, on the island of Guu, a man, who’s name was Smoke’s Empty Lens, who had seen one-and-twenty years, and most agreed that he was handsome to behold, but vain, and prideful. Smoke’s Empty Lens worked in the village that lay on the beach in Guu, and wove the cord walls of the villagers’ homes.
As vicious Luck would have it, Firefly River fell for the handsome, vain, prideful man named Smoke’s Empty Lens, and every day, she left the home of her father and went to the village to watch Smoke’s Empty Lens as he wove cord walls.
One day, as Smoke’s Empty Lens sat, weaving a line of cord into a frame for a newcomer’s house, Firefly River, who he thought strange and soft-brained, approached, bearing in her hands a pair of boots, made from red-painted cord and barkcloth.
To he said Firefly River:
“I have made for you a pair of boots, to grace your fine feet, that, perhaps, you may care for me.”
Smoke’s Empty Lens took the boots, and looking them over, sneered.
To her said he:
“What need have I of these? What audacity, for you to present me with such a shoddy present!”
Smoke’s Empty Lens tossed the boots into the flames of his cord-baking fire, and went back to his work.
After one week, Firefly River returned to the village, and this time, she bore in her hands a pair of boots, made from yellow sharkskin and sloth-leather, delicately engraved with fine designs. She brought these boots to Smoke’s Empty Lens and said:
“I have made for you a pair of boots, finer than the last. Perhaps now you will care for me.”
Smoke’s Empty Lens admitted to himself that these boots were indeed fine. But he was as prideful as a great sea-eagle, and this great pride would not allow him to accept these boots from this girl he had spurned. Stupid, soft-brained girl, he thought, and said:
“Yes, these boots are fine, but I do not care for them, nor for you.”
And with that he tossed these boots, too, into his cord-baking fire.
Firefly River swallowed a lump of grief, and went away.
After one month, Firefly River returned to the village, and this time, she bore in her hands a pair of boots, made from black leather, tooled in beautiful flying cranes, buckled with green jade, and inlayed with green, also. It was obvious that she had spent much time and property to create them. These she brought to Smoke’s Empty Lens and said:
“I have brought you these boots, that are very fine, that you may perhaps care for me.”
Smoke’s Empty Lens could see that these boots were fit for a prince, and he battled long moments with his pride. But as a prideful husband will not admit defeat in an argument, so did Smoke’s Empty Lens give in to pride. And said he:
“Yes, these boots are very fine, but I do not care for them, nor for you.”
Once more were the beautiful boots surrendered to the greedy cord-baking fire.
Firefly River shed a single tear, and, turning away, left him.
Five more times did Firefly River come to Smoke’s Empty Lens, bearing boots more and more beautiful. Smoke’s Empty Lens, though he saw the wonderful boots, and though he found Firefly River’s devotion touching, his pride was his emperor.
Finally, after two years of near-absence from the village, Firefly River emerged from the home of her father. In the intervening years, Firefly River had blossomed into a beautiful woman, with shining hair and fair face. In her hands she bore a pair of boots so wondrous that all gasped at the sight.
She went to Smoke’s Empty Lens and said:
“I have made a pair of boots.”
Smoke’s Empty Lens replied:
“Have we not done this a thousand suns before?”
Firefly River said:
“No. For you see, these boots are not for you. These boots are mine.”
And, in so saying, Firefly River donned the boots, and, being so wondrously beautiful, the boots shunned the earth, and she strode away into the air, to find herself a love that was true.
The Boots Too Fine for the Earth are wondrously made boots, made from materials resplendent and glorious. They are made from silk and sharkskin, and intricately-tooled leather, and jade, and gold, and silver. They are amazing to behold, and are velvet-soft on the foot.
The Boots Too Fine for the Earth are so beautiful that they refuse to touch the ground.
At all times, the Boots float four to five inches off the ground. They repel away from all surfaces that are non-organic. Thus, dirt, stone, metal, magma, and mud all are too sublunary to bare the step of these boots.
Walking in the air in the Boots is an awkward affair to the untrained. The air is slippery and near-frictionless to the step, and those who trip, slip, or fall, find themselves lying upon the ground, with their feet in the air.
The Boots do not repel away from plants, cord, wood, bark, water, or living things.
Jumping in the Boots is normal, however, the jump ends four to five inches off the ground.