19 Votes


Hits: 12275
Comments: 19
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.9211
Condition: Normal
ID: 448


December 10, 2006, 10:05 am

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Cheka Man
Dragon Lord

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Potion of Mis Understanding Languages


Made by an anarchist trying to seed dissent, the potions actually work better than normal potions of understanding languages ... sort of.

This item is silly.

These potions are found in any variety of containers and come in a number of colors, but all are strawberry kiwi flavored. They have a consistency similar to juice with no pulp.

An anarchist feared the peacful comunication between the elite would lead to the overwhelming presence of laws that would crush any expression of individual freedom. He gathered his contraband materials and resources and formulated a solution. If the elite could not communicate, they could not work together, and a healthy level of freedom would remain.

Selling a true formula to a royal alchemist for cheap let his name be known to the elite, and he soon became the main supplier of many lands. He sat in his small estate one day, reviling the fact he had been forced into becoming one of the higher classes removed from the populace to find a vector for his solution. He burned all his business notes and scattered the formula for Mis understanding languages on his grounds, then set the fire to burn his estate down and hung himself.

The gaurd was called to contain the fire, but the mansion and it’s former alchemist were a loss. The notes to his potion that would be his legacy were found and given to his succesor, and the anarchist’s plan was set in motion.

Magical Properties:

The potions will be able to be identified as a potion of understanding languages by any means normal.

When the potion if consumed, the character can now understand the various languages being spoken and communicate back to the speakers in a manner that they hear as there own language, but with a small extra bit added on.

The true nature of the potions curse is that it makes the character useing it speak an odd phrase at the end of the sentence, and furthermore, the character doesn’t even hear or realize they said anything at all. Instead of the period at the end of the sentence simlpy ending the sentence, it triggers a kind of “disfunction” in the players mind to make him say something odd, but not realize.

Examples include “,as the prohesey had fortold.”; “, and I truely mean that.”; “, with butter.”; “, and the corpses will be consumed.” The phrases are wide and varied, and different potions have been known to produce only one phrase, or sometimes several.

Sample exchange:

Emporer: “Greetings Ambassodor from our neighboring land! How was your journey?”

Ambassador: “Realitivly uneventful, untill the driver let me handle the animals, with butter.”

*Pregnant pause*

Emporer: “Really now? And you had handled the animals like that before? I mean, do you some history in handling animals in such a manner?”

Ambassador: “But of course! I have a respectable stable at my home, where I treat all my animals as if they were part of my family, as the prohesey had fortold.”

*Another pregnant pause*

Emporer: “Is such an attitude common among the court these days?”

Ambassador: “We have strong feelings of familiy and comunity in my homeland, and I truely mean that. Any man who did not respect his family would be look upon badly, and the corpses would be consumed.”

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Comments ( 19 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

April 10, 2004, 22:16
This is a really great item, as the prophecy had foretold. I love the "strawberry kiwi" bit, with butter. I'm giving this, even though it is silly, my highest rating, and the corpses will be consumed.

Ria Hawk
April 10, 2004, 22:27
Oh... the possibilities for chaos...
April 11, 2004, 6:09
Yes. This is just that kind of an item, which you can give to your players and laugh when they get themselves into trouble. and who said that being a DM isn't fun, with or without butter?

Seriously then, I don't see anything wrong with this item. It is not powerful and not that kind of an item which would destroy everything immediately. Of course it can get you into trouble, but nothing too overpowerin, I would imagine. I like this item.
April 13, 2004, 8:25
Silly items like this should not get a 5/5.

*pregnant pause*

But it is so good I give it a 5/5.

*pregnant pause*

It is even better than my Translator of Political Corectness. It has even strawberry kiwi flavour... *sigh* ...and the corpses will be consumed.
April 13, 2004, 12:52
Oh man, I'd completely forgotten about your translator manfred! And the two are so very alike. LOL! My apologies.

It is interesting how the Translator of Political Corectness gets the PCs in bad situations by making bad comunication good, and the Potion of Mis Understanding Languages does that by making good comunication bad.

Now if I can just figure out a way to get the translator to drink the potion...
Voted Cheka Man
November 19, 2005, 12:11
LOL-one of the funniest items around.
Voted Strolen
November 27, 2005, 8:48
Irresistable. How could you not try this?
Voted zebbin
February 16, 2006, 13:16
Only voted
February 17, 2006, 5:32
Anarchists live on this page! :)
Voted valadaar
September 1, 2006, 20:16
You know, I've looked at this one before, but did not vote. Not sure why, cause this is simply brilliant!

Voted Wulfhere
December 9, 2006, 20:53
I didn't vote when I first saw this, but it still makes me laugh. It is an excellent variation on the old Monty Python bit

... as the prophecy had foretold.
Voted the Wanderer
December 9, 2006, 22:39
I like it, maybe a bit too much...
Voted Dragon Lord
August 13, 2008, 4:07
Just spotted this under random submissions, it's gone green

Don't know how I missed it before, with nobbs on

I simply love it, the strewberries are ripe now

5/5 cos it's really funny, and the beat goes on

and a Hall of Honour, with butter

plus a wish i'd thought of that award, the monkey said "hi"
Voted Fallen Angel
September 1, 2009, 19:31
Made me laugh.
Voted Hrofgar
November 12, 2009, 18:03
Only voted
Voted jcoberly
June 19, 2010, 17:32
Only voted
Voted Nafar
September 24, 2010, 9:46
Sweet idea, with butter
Voted MysticMoon
April 19, 2011, 12:46

I love it. This would be so much fun with the right group of players.

Voted Dossta
October 3, 2012, 11:43
I can't believe I never commented on this one before, sweet monkeys. It's simple yet really effective, and I truly mean that. I would love to use this on a party where one member knows the language that is being spoken, and the other is relying on one of these potions with butter. Though they might take exception to the GM "putting words in their mouths" . . . and the corpses will be consumed.

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