"What do you mean I changed clothes?"
"Sir- did you steal that cloak"
"Of course not! Haven't you seen fabric change color before?"

Wha—is that a miniature thunderstorm in that thing?

The beast within became the beast without; ferocity and might blossoming in corpore upon the flesh.

"Did a BEAR just jump out of that mans backpack?!?"
"Yes sir, I believe it did."

"Men? They send men to repel us? Humans..."

What if the innkeeper knew what you wanted before you did?

I need the shoe ads put in before the table of contents, and put the perfume ads behind the letters to the editor, don't make me get the Sanderson data again on ad placement, and where in the blazes is my double-latte?

Ariel Kincaid, VP of Glitter Magazine

The party has obtained a treasure map, and it seems pretty straightforward... but digging in the indicated area for hours has revealed nothing...

The most expensive tavern in town boasts the finest of fare, entertainment, and more importantly, decor.

It is said that the bite of a Manna Mosquito can turn someone with no magical power into a spellcaster, but few are willing to pay the price for such power.

This is a wretched tome of oceanic blasphemy; a foul water-stained, bone-white binder of bitter dead-men's secrets and a guide to Nautical Necromancy useful in the hands of the young sea-faring necromancer or the Great Lich Umeen herself.

"Okay, I didn't like Thanger", I thought, "He was a punta of epic proportions, but nobody deserved to die like that." These thoughts were crowding out the screaming in the back of my head that we were all still in danger if we did not move.

I saw Peeth kneel down besides the biggest chunk of remains, where the heart was. He reached in under his leathers and pulled out a piece of jade on a simple chain. He placed it on the remains reverently. It was fitting, Thanger died stepping in to protect Peeth.

"He needs this more than I do. Maybe it will keep him out of The Hells."

Inspired some years ago for a Kult/CoC Halloween game

Princess Helen of Grond is one of the most beautiful princesses on the planet...if, that is, you happen to be an Orc.

God of Strength in the Night, Hiding your Numbers, and The Silent Kill.

The deadly legacy of a vindictive demon, Shugrat's lust is to be feared by those who dread to sin..

"Look children! Is it the Fun Faire, Extreme Sensations, or Tabs' Insanity today?"

Why is all the rum gone?
That crazy fellow over there just poured it all into his boots!
Now with Bonus Item!

I am always giving advice to various gamers on various game forums. I am constantly giving the same advice over and over again (cut/ paste repeat). Once a year I think about the advice and put together The List.

Sing a song of sixpence
Pocketful of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie