Humor/ Editorial
Game Mastering
10 Votes


Hits: 5559
Comments: 19
Ideas: 1
Rating: 1.75
Condition: Normal
ID: 5079


June 5, 2008, 7:42 pm

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Ways to die


In the game of paranoia, the damage tables for falls lists heights up to ‘orbital’

In any roleplaying game, death is a constant reminder to players that no, they aren’t invincible. Whether it’s from an enemy, a fall, or poison, there’s a lot of creative ways for players to die. Here’s to hoping to coming up with as many strange, weird and bizarre ways to kill off PCs.

1: Food Poisoning
2: Lightning Strikes
3: Falls
4: Impaled on own sword
5: Crushed by drawbridge
6: Defenestration (Technically a fall, but I digress)
7: Brain impaled by a splintered javelin
8: Trampled by horses
9: Choking on food
10: Rolling into lava/a river/off a cliff while asleep
11: Healing spell backfires
12: Papercut becomes infected
13: Drowning in wine/beer
14: Bald head mistaken for a rock and an eagle drops a tortoise on it
15: Strangled by own armor during a polymorph
16: By Friend Computer
17: Self-cannibalism
18: Space Exposure
19: Electrical Shock from computer/television
20: Stolen for hair by a roc
21: Crushed by a vending machine
22: Hit by own stone while trying to sling it

Additional Ideas (1)

23. Hit by an unusually focused burst of radiation from a solar flare
24. Realizes that there was some major paradox in own life, vanishes from existence with a look of vague surprise
25. Struck by a falling dwarf while walking in the mountains
26. Struck by a falling mountain while walking with a dwarf
27. Seduce / Seduced by a Minotaur
28. Tripping while picking blackberries, death from blood loss
29. Attempting to pitch a tent on a "hill", actually the belly of a sleeping giant. Not sleeping for long though.
30. Caught in the crossfire in a running battle between Gnoll and Hobgoblin skirmishers, quilled from both sides

2008-06-30 10:11 PM » Link: [5079#66102|text]
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Comments ( 19 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Drackler
June 1, 2008, 13:37
I cannot actually see a use for this list "in game", yes it's something that could keep us amused here in the Citadel, but you're not actually trying to kill the PCs. I suggest that you add the "Silly" freetext. That being said, I do like it.
June 1, 2008, 21:44
Part of the humor of my games is telling the players that they have died in some bizarre fashion, only to continue on with the story like nothing has happened at all. It's a good way to break the tension in the air.
Voted kalabar
June 1, 2008, 19:40
I like it ^.^

19: Death by Deep Fried Chocolate
20: Choked to death from a bug flying into your/their throat
Voted Michael Jotne Slayer
June 2, 2008, 8:49
In my opinion this needs deleting. The submission is extremely short, I can not see how a GM could ever use this at all.

Sam and Tommy at the age of eight and nine might actually find this funny as they would grow tired of an RPG game after ten minutes. "Haha Tommy, you are eating yourself and DIE TROUGH SELF CANNIBALISM". Seriously, what is the meaning of this? This is in my opinion far from the standard of what is usually tolerated in the citadell. The way I see it you add free text silly and explain to us how this list might be useful and you finish the list or this should be deleted.

Sorry but this is my honest opinion.
June 2, 2008, 17:29
I have looked a player in the eyes and told them that they'd died in some idiotic, random inane way. Then I continued playing like nothing happened.

Ever wanted a spell idea? How about something that duplicates an item on the list (and you guys complain about a -scroll- which is supposed to be a community effort being too short- well, add to it!)?

Not all games have to be serious- having some random guy randomly fall from the sky can be a wonderful encounter.

This isn't about killing PCs. This is about absurd ideas that apply to other areas in the game. Yes it's silly. Yes it might not be fun to pull on the players. Worthless? Hardly. Humor is an integral part of the games I DM, and little touches like these (Haven't YOU gotten sick of "You kill it." "You stab it and it dies.") can add personality to a campaign- even serious Bushido followers can enjoy a quick, tension breaking moment.
Michael Jotne Slayer
June 3, 2008, 15:54
Well- the part about telling the players that they die during the sessions you gamemaster is,... a pretty narrow way of GM'ing. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with it. I am sure you and your players have a magnificent time. But here is the deal, instead of replying to my comment: Why not simply edit your submission and add what you just told me in a sensible way. Your submission needs to be something we can understand and possibly use. You are right in that a scroll is a community effort, but the community needs well done submission as base for their efforts. Do that and this might be something.
Voted Silveressa
June 2, 2008, 9:59
I really don't see much point to this what so ever; if a gm is "out to slay the party" there's really no point to playing (Although cotc games are a notable exception to this bit) since it's hardly enjoyable for the players, and I'd imagine the GM to simply flat line a pc in some off the wall manner.

Also like Micheal said, it's really too short, and seriously needs the silly free text to go along with it.
Voted valadaar
June 2, 2008, 14:44
I would suggest turning this into a list of cause of deaths for a random background generator, with different sections for 'serious' and 'silly' sections.

Even better would be a scroll solicting the most outrageous/ingnomious TRUE PC/NPC deaths from your campaign.

I strongly suggest putting this into In-work Advice Requested - it is not ready in any case.
Voted Misanpilgrim
June 2, 2008, 16:37
I'm not sure whether you were trying for entertainment or utility. Either way, the sub's too lean to satisfy.

Also, you might want to give some thought to freetexts. The "Death" freetext links you to macabre, death-themed subs like the Armor of the Last Stand and Never Ending Silence. The "Dying" freetext, though... not only does it seem redundant, but it links to absolutely nothing.

P.S. Self-cannibalism? How does the game get there? (The last time I saw autocannibalism mentioned was in a throwaway line in Transmetropolitan.)
June 2, 2008, 17:33
There was a greek myth where someone was so consumed by hunger (he ticked off the wrong god) that he eventually began to eat himself... that was the inspiration for that!
July 1, 2008, 1:52
There are things to be said for the classics. And hand it to the Greeks to be ... inventive.
June 5, 2008, 15:25
I agree with Valadaar on this one. I would love to see this as a random generator. I'd definitely love to contribute.
June 5, 2008, 19:42
What to say. If I had to vote for this now, I would vote low, based on the size and the purpose. I don't mind it as much as I see the bigger potential that has been already pointed out:

- you could go the silly route, and collect the Bizarre Ways to Die, which could be an interesting list by itself,

- or you could really gather the Ways to Die, ordinary and bizarre. You would get more help from us, as it would make a much more useful list.

Note: starting it with talking about killing PCs is a sure way to draw fire, but such is life. Make this an interesting scroll, and you may even get that random generator.
Voted Grey
June 30, 2008, 22:12
An odd idea, but it's a sorry scroll that has no... well... scrolls. Let's fix that!
Voted MoonHunter
July 1, 2008, 1:48
First you can add the 30 tag to it, you have earned that. It is an "Other 30" if you want that book keeping. Now that aside.

My well known dislike for anything worthy of the silly tag means I am going to be another lower vote and a hard sell for anything better.

I never hold short against a submission, as a submission is complete when it provides all the information needed to use it in a game. And it is a scroll, which means we can add to it. The question we ask is... why?

Maybe I am old,(Okay, I am...),but I don't see the utility or the real humor on this one. It sounds like your game takes dying in innane ways like a bakka hammer in an anime. It doesn't really happen, but it is just a gag visual. That might work for you, but for the rest of us.. we are all going "huh?".

Too many whys for me. There is not enough reasoning for it. And the real killer, it is not funny enough.
July 11, 2008, 8:25
Not bad, although i have to agree with quite a lot of what is being said, on the one hand it is slightly short in terms of description, but as you say it's the humour that counts.
Voted PseudonymDL
June 9, 2010, 9:12
Only voted
Voted Nafar
October 29, 2010, 13:30

October 29, 2010, 15:53

This gets no love.  I think we could rework this so that it could be more useful.  Often times the gaming worlds we have are teaming with spirits.  Very often the PCs have the ability to contact these spirits to gain information about a person, an item or perhaps just ask for directions.  If you have this ability in the game you may never know for sure when the PCs are going to use it. An easy  go to list of death stories may be handy to have around when you have to come up with a ghost on the spot. When you conjure a spirit you conjure both a life and a death. You also conjure up the past and get in touch with a lost time.  The story of that person's death should be short but it should hint at a large amount of information and at a larger world.  Each of these lines in this 30 hint at a story.  I think there is use to this list of demises. I have five suggestions for what might be on that list. Check the forum.  


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