9 Votes


Hits: 4196
Comments: 15
Ideas: 4
Rating: 3.7222
Condition: Normal
ID: 4410


October 29, 2008, 8:52 am

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Cheka Man

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Goblin Pole


Sometimes the simple solutions are best..

Full Item Description

A strong, 20’+ long wooden pole, with a sturdy basket at one end large enough to carry a small goblin, and a leather-wrapped handle on the other end, sized for huge hands.


A refinement of the scaling ladder, this was constructed to take advantage of the great size of the larger humanoids, and the small size of others.  It’s origins have been attributed variously to the goblin chief Narku, the oddly intelligent ogre chief Morkaar, and by others to a rogue dwarfish necromancer known simply as He.  What is known is that at least four human forts have fallen to this device, generally at night time or in bad weather.  The number of goblins expended in failures, however, no one can tell.

The Goblin Pole is a specialized device used by humanoids to break into places.  It requires a team of an ogre or similar large humanoid, and a sacrificial , er, volunteer goblin.  Since most fortifications are not that huge, a 10’ ogre can usually put the goblin up on a 25’ wall without much difficulty, though the experience is generally quite harrowing for the goblin.  Once on the wall, the goblins mission is to sneak down and open the gates.  It is expected to be used when something has either distracted the garrison, or when things such as inclement weather make detection unlikely.

Other uses include having the goblin to drop items onto the wall, such as poisonous snakes, oil, etc.  In this role, the goblin is often strapped into the basket to allow them to better focus on the mission. Theoretically, they could be used in battle to give a goblin archer a better line of sight, but few goblins are brave enough to serve effectively in this role - their nerves ruin their aim.

Campaign Use

Likely a one-shot wonder that a mixed humanoid army could use to surprise PCs’  One can make it even more subtle by introducing variants which can be broken down for easy travel, or even have been made invisible by magic.

Additional Ideas (4)

1.) Spotting for catapults and other siege weaponry.
2.) Long arm to feed huge monsters.
3.) 'Jousting' during Ogre parties, of course with goblins in the baskets...
4.) Retriving objects from wells and similar deep places.
5.) PCs could try using one with the halfling in the party.

2007-10-03 08:22 AM » Link: [4410#30911|text]
Re 4): could be also used for fishing and the like. Take a deep breath. (Not you, idiot! The goblin!)

2008-10-31 08:55 AM » Link: [4410#68097|text]
6)Prop two of them up next to each other, each with a contestant. Sudden death fight to the extreme.
7) Prop one up, good place to get away from it all
8) Scouting
9)Put some feed around it and use it for deer hunting.

2007-10-03 05:48 PM » Link: [4410#30932|text]
10.) Catching goblins and similar small creatures. ;)
11.) If the fortifications are low, the wielders could first 'clear up' the wall from its defenders with a swing, then drop the first cannon fodder while the real fighters get up the wall. Might work.
12.) Harvesting resources from those really high unclimbable trees...
13.) ...and as an extension, taking care of those pesky elven tree houses.
14.) Taking two, and making a huge net, with some luck a whole army unit could be immobilized for a few precious moments.

2007-10-03 06:25 PM » Link: [4410#30935|text]
15.) If one is fast enough, those annoying flying creatures could be put down.
16.) Scratching that really bad itch in your ultralarge back. It's not always about war.
17.) Delivering workforce across ravines to span ropes, build bridges and the like.
18.) To keep kidnapped people in sight during negotiations. If you attack or don't seem willing to pay, they just might drop it...
19.) While few ogres are smart enough for that, it is a perfect tool to detect traps.

2008-10-31 08:54 AM » Link: [4410#68096|text]
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Comments ( 15 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Murometz
October 2, 2007, 20:49

A strong, 20'+ long wooden pole, with a sturdy basket big enough to carry a small goblin, and a leather-wrapped handle on the other end, sized for huge hands. You had me laughing from the description alone!

Of course, this is still only slightly kinder than the goblin catapult :)

(could use a quick spell/grammer check)

Voted Cheka Man
October 2, 2007, 22:59
Me likey. I'm not sure if the goblins would like it though.
Voted Scrasamax
October 3, 2007, 3:28
Step 1: get your cousin
Step 2: get your cousin onto the pole
Step 3: get another cousin

October 3, 2007, 8:05
Updated: Converting for a scroll - 30 uses for a Goblin Pole?
Voted mrcelophane
October 3, 2007, 17:51
Its interesting to say the least. Added my own submission to the scroll. It sounds like something goblins would use. Though, why would strapping them in keep them more focused on the task? I don't get that part.
October 3, 2007, 18:31
Well, then they are less likely to accidentally fall out to their deaths.

This thing will have a very bad safety record. :)
October 3, 2007, 19:26
Especially if the Ogres's skimped on the safety training....
Dragon Lord
October 5, 2007, 12:00
Er - wots safty training - dont know big words
Voted manfred
October 3, 2007, 18:29
This one guarantees a laugh, and quite a few interesting tactical bonuses. Solid thinking, val, this could indeed win a few sieges!

Fantasy warfare is definitely a different beast than the common one, and this is shown here nicely. Great work.
Voted Stomphoof
October 5, 2007, 9:19
*head asplodes*

Funny stuff. Those poor goblins...Oh well, plenty more where they came from! :)
Voted Dragon Lord
October 5, 2007, 12:06
I second all of the above - great fun

Nice one val - I can definately see this being used

The goblins would hate it of course
But then again again, who cares what a goblin thinks

3½ for a damn good idea
+½ cos I'm having serious trouble keeping a straight face
So - 4/5

Nice work val
Voted EchoMirage
October 28, 2008, 9:28
Only voted
Voted Chaosmark
October 28, 2008, 19:37
Amazing how the inclusion of fantasy creatures simply changes certain constants that we don't even realize we use in our equations. Very nice work.
October 8, 2010, 17:44

BUMP. Just 11 more pole functions to go for 30 :)

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