10 Votes


Hits: 7398
Comments: 16
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.4
Condition: Normal
ID: 3116


September 29, 2006, 6:14 pm

Vote Hall of Honour
Cheka Man

You must be a member to use HoH votes.
Author Status


The Sending of Axtrami


The city of the Bright People fell, but the spirit of its people remains.  A legend of the Ouzquin Dremorix.

As night falls, the eldest among the Ouzguin Dremorix gather around the banked fires that serve the kilns of their art, and there, standing close by the ovens where their wondrous glass works are placed to slowly cool, they weave tales of the history of their people.  Listen now, and hear the words of the elder…

Many a traveler has heard of the Sending of Axtrami; the wonder that haunts the desert wastes where once the City of the Spire stood!  Some have even heard it in the distance, singing its melancholy songs, dancing brightly in the desert winds.  A few brave souls have even dared to call to it, to look into its depths and learn its truths as it dances, flashing and sparkling in the morning light.  But few remember how this wonder came to be; even fewer know the truth of what it is…

So gather close, friends, and hear the tale of lost Axtramiya Zuno, the City of the Glass Spire!  For not all was lost, and not all was forgotten, on that day, so long ago, when they of the Shattered Orbs sought their revenge and the might of Axtrami stood revealed:

The Tale of the Spire
Many long years ago, the clans of the Bright People each made a gift of their finest, most brilliantly colored beads, their clearest mirrored glass, and their clearest bull’s-eye panes to ornament a wondrous spire, a miracle of light and color in tribute to Axtrami, god of light. 

Many were the worshippers called across the sands of Farakan to the city of the spire, to worship before the bright majesty of Axtrami, in the scintillating light of his temple’s spire.  Equally numerous were the travelers drawn from across the sea to the bright city, bringing their wares to its great bazaar.

For miles around Axtramiya Zuno, the City of the Spire, you could see the bright colors of the spire resplendent in the beams of the morning sun.  The ships of the foreign merchants could see the spire towering high above the shores of the azure sea, its light dancing on the waves.

And many were those, condemned to live apart from Axtrami’s light, who hungered for the city’s bright wealth.  So it was that the warlock Soromines came to attack Axtramiya Zuno.  Driven by an evil lust for all the city held, this vile oathreaker came at the head of a legion of pirates and mercenaries, bringing death to the city of the Bright Ones.

Worse than that, even his depraved followers did not suspect what evil the sinister man intended, for he sought not only the wealth of the city of the Spire, but the very souls of its people, to be seized as thralls to his wicked schemes.

Not least among his deluded followers was a large number of the desperate men known as the Sect of the Shattered Orb.  Outcasts, angry and coldhearted, they yearned to bring death and suffering to the city of the Bright People and avenge themselves against the people that had cast them out.

Well did these outcasts know the ways of the land that had rejected them; well did they know of the Quilano, the High Holy Day when the devotees of Axtrami would gather in solemn prayer at dawn.  They suggested an evil plan to their vile master:  They would attack the city while all the devout were gathered at the temple in worship. 

As dawn’s first clear light struck the gleaming tower, the slender dragon ships of the reavers swept into the harbor.  They met little resistance, for no man suspected that they were to be attacked on that day.  Men, women and children were slain, falling beneath the blades of the reavers and the fires that they started wherever they went.  They swept into the crowded courtyard of the holy temple of Axtrami and began their foul slaughter there, even in the sacred precincts of Axtrami’s holy place.

As the reavers swept through the city, killing and burning, their fell leader was already at work on an unholy invocation beyond any that man should contemplate: A curse binding the souls of all that fell, that none should go on to their reward, that none should see the mirrors of their deeds as the god Axtrami had decreed.  As the blasphemous words rose into the air, a foul wind sprang up, filled with the murmuring of dark spirits.  Stormclouds rushed toward the city, contrary winds moving and whirling against each other.  His spell complete, the souls of all in the city were bound, trapped by his baleful, inhuman magics.

Realizing their doom too late, the embattled worshippers of Axtrami were simultaneously calling for the Bright Lord to save his followers.  Their song reached toward the heavens, beseeching Axtrami to see their plight and send his aid.  The god’s voice called out as his staff struck down over and over through the city.  The renegades and murderers that ran through the streets had forgotten one thing:  Axtrami is also the god who speaks in the storm’s fury.  His voice continued to crash around them as his staff smote the godless raiders in the midst of their evil deeds.

The wind’s voice rose higher and higher, howling around the complex patterns that covered the towering spire of the temple and then, flashing and glowing in the burning light of Axtrami’s staff, the tower shattered into a thousand thousand fiery motes, scintillating in all colors of the rainbow.  The wind swept together the bright beads, the gleaming mirrors, the flashing panes of glass.  All over the city, the spirits of the fallen felt their Ouzala Hemisa, the orbs of their lives, pulled up into the whirling vortex and their souls were freed to go with the orbs.

The sending’s winds pulled into it every cherished glass bauble, every flawless glazed window, every intricate bead, all the glass in the city as it became the whirling guardian of all the hopes and dreams, all the love and care of a noble people.  Lent the power of a righteous god, the sending called out with the sad song of the desert winds and hurled itself at the invaders.

The reavers fled through the streets, but none could outrun the flashing edges and glittering fragments that filled the storm’s fury.  Their screams were drowned out in the tragic song of the avenging wind.

In the harbor, some few reavers saw the brilliant column of their doom rising up into the sky, a tower of dancing light to humble any spire built by the hands of men.  Bright and terrible, it leaped down upon them, flaying flesh from bone, shredding through sails and crushing ships.  In mere seconds, nothing remained in the harbor but bloody foam on the wind-tossed waves.

And so the bright city fell and was avenged.  The Bright People that survived chose not to rebuild the City of the Spire; to this day, the bare, sand scoured stones of the city remain, empty and abandoned.

Nonetheless, sometimes those who travel the wastes see a flashing column of brilliant lights sparkling in the morning’s light.  Diminished now, no longer swollen with the power Axtrami gave it on the day of its wrath, it still haunts the desert, softly singing songs of hope and sacrifice, protecting the people of the wastes should foreign invaders come once more to their lands.

Additional Ideas (0)

Please register to add an idea. It only takes a moment.

Join Now!!

Gain the ability to:
Vote and add your ideas to submissions.
Upvote and give XP to useful comments.
Work on submissions in private or flag them for assistance.
Earn XP and gain levels that give you more site abilities.
Join a Guild in the forums or complete a Quest and level-up your experience.
Comments ( 16 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

September 29, 2006, 15:29
Beautiful! With every haunting Ouzquin Dremorix addition, an urge is felt to explore MORE of its mysteries !!!

nice prose Wulf!
Voted Cheka Man
September 29, 2006, 16:36
It is a really good tale. 5/5
September 29, 2006, 21:31
For those into such things, the linguistic assumptions that I used for this tale included:

Axtramiya translates to “Axtrami’s”: The suffix –ya indicates a possessive.

Zuno translates as “Spire” or “Spiral”: I derived it from the "Zunouza" dagger, which I decided came from the roots Zuno and –ouza, translating as “Spiral of Glass”

"Ouzquin" would then translate as Ouz-Quin: "Glass" + "holy" or "Sacred"

"Dremorix" would translate as Dre-mor-ix: "Shape" + "Person"
(The suffix -ix or -ex indicates a plural)

"Quilano" translates as Qui(n)-Lano: "Holy" + "Dawn"
September 29, 2006, 21:49
you will do well in helping with SE's planned OD langauge post!

(wont let me vote)
Voted Murometz
September 29, 2006, 21:50
Only voted
Voted Shadoweagle
September 30, 2006, 0:08
Interesting view on the language there, Wulf. I always thought of the word Ouzquin a little differently, however: You had much of it similar to my idea though - 'Ouz', i percieved as a prefex meaning 'of glass', for example the word Ouzala would stranslate into "Staff of Glass", roughly (The 'Zala' bieng 'Staff'). The entire word "Ouzquin", however, simply is the word for Glass.
So Ouz is simply a derivative of Ouzquin, used when saying something is of Ouzquin nature, or is made of Ouzquin.
The word Dremorix has several meanings (Shifting, making, altering etc...), and is commonly used when expressing Change - especially in a creation(over destruction) sense. So for example, those who make glass can be referred to as OuzDremorix (makers of glass, or creators of glass).

I am going to make an entire language out of this, you'll see! :)

But enough of that, onto the post!
I can't help but like this: As I said before, it's like fan-art and it's very humbling! :D
September 30, 2006, 15:45
Obviously, fantasy linguistics is not an exact science...
Voted Scrasamax
September 30, 2006, 1:12
Nice stuff man, and the Ouzquin Dremorix rule!
Voted MoonHunter
September 30, 2006, 13:18
While this is a lovely post, well written and presented, why does the creature of wind and glass still exist? Actually why is it alive at all? The Deitiy's spirit moved the wind and the glass to become a weapon against the Reavers. Wonderful part that. They were avenged in a fitting way. Like that. Why does this thing still exist? It has served its purpose. That is what left me kind of hollow on the submission.

Now, if clerics of this god could summon a glass wind of vengence, that would be interesting.
September 30, 2006, 15:16
I had pictured this being of glass and wind remaining as a guardian spirit of the Ouzquin Dremorix, wandering the wastes until the people’s need called to it. It remained as the guardian of the worshippers' "Ouzala Hemisa" Glass Orbs.

Your mileage may vary, of course. If you prefer a sending that comes only at the most dire need of the priests of Axtrami, there's nothing wrong with that way of doing things.
Voted Pariah
October 1, 2006, 20:41
Only voted
Voted Strolen
October 8, 2006, 17:19
I would be wary to carry any glass into that city again.
October 8, 2006, 18:42
Naturally, it ravaged the economy to lose all those 2 silver piece deposits.
Voted Dozus
February 13, 2013, 15:10
Fantastic story.
Voted MysticMoon
August 26, 2013, 23:41
A nice bit of history. I'm liking the Ouzquin Dremorix.
Voted valadaar
November 13, 2014, 11:51
Spectacular visuals on this one. A miracle to add to one's worlds.

It would seem Gods with foresight are a rare things, and hardly conducive to a good story.

Link Backs



Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

       By: Michael Jotne Slayer

God has been slayed by a mortal man and his head is now worshipped and put on a pedestal. The PCs are hired to steal the head and bring it to a mystic that claims to have the power to revive God.

Encounter  ( Any ) | February 22, 2011 | View | UpVote 4xp

Creative Commons License
Individual submissions, unless otherwise noted by the author, are licensed under the
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License
and requires a link back to the original.

We would love it if you left a comment when you use an idea!
Powered by Lockmor 4.1 with Codeigniter | Copyright © 2013 Strolen's Citadel
A Role Player's Creative Workshop.
Read. Post. Play.
Optimized for anything except IE.