Full Item Description
Sizzler is a round frying pan, made of one of Ironspirit's earliest alloys. It has a simple metal handle joined apparently seamlessly to the cooking portion of the pan, but is more or less undecorated.
One day, the younger son of Baron von Vin got it into his mind that he wished to be an adventurer. And sneaking out of the manor house one day, he was confronted by the scullery maid, a slightly-older-than-him woman of no particular beauty, but whom had a certain secretive interest in him. And trying to escape her, the younger von Vin muttered something about going to the smithy, which, indeed, was the truth. He'd meant to go to the Enclave of Ironspirit, there to request weapons appropriate for the second son of a rich Baron to begin his adventuring quest with. With a bright smile, the maid informed him that the cook required a new pan, and she would be most certainly accompanying him.
It was with a heavy heart, then, that he set out, worried about this ball and chain which had attached itself to his ankle. Needless to say, by the time they reached the edge of the city, the jig was, as they say, up, but the maid had no pan with which to subdue von Vin and take him home. Their adventures in crossing overland are probably best left to the imagination, but in time, leaner, harder, though probably not very much wiser for the wear, the both of them reached the Ironspirit Enclave.
And while von Vin threw his heart into his eloquent speeches and requests, at the end, Nial turned to her, and asked, 'And of you, fair maiden? What is your request of the Forge?'
She drew her self up, then, and spake she thusly, 'My name, Forge-Lord, is Mariem, and I have come for a cook's pan. I shall have it.'
'So you shall, Mariem.' It was with a laugh that Nial called forth the youngest of his grandchildren, and set the boy to work on the needs of von Vin, and turned to Mariem. 'You, I shall attend to myself.'
A dizzying number of choices later, and a short wait, and he presented it to her, a mirror-bright dish of iron, a touch lighter in heft than she had expected. Speechless, she accepted the cookware, named Sizzer by its maker, and paid the fee she'd not expected to be so low, before hunting down her fellow 'adventurer.'
Paitently, she waited, as von Vin was fitted and charged with a dozen tasks based around using his nobility for the benefit of Ironspirit in pre-payment for his armor, before he was finally released to her... and with one mighty swing of Sizzler, she knocked him out, and he stayed that way the whole way home. It was only later that she noticed the indentation she'd created in her pan.
Sizzler is mostly just a really well made pan. It's hard to burn things in it. And it's good for knocking out wayward romantic interests. But it's not really magical.
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? Responses (13)
Well done! It is humourous and demonstrates the value of favors in the typical feudal world setting.
OK, I like this, I really do, but I see no way to put this into a game, or even deliver such a great story to players in a seemless manner.
So, before I vote, do have any ideas on this dilemma?
It belongs in a museum!
Honestly, this is mostly a joke, but a gourmand may be willing to pay out the teeth for this to be recovered. It might be some one's secret treasure. 'Okay, we've killed the guards, beaten the monster, and cracked the safe... There's th... WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!?!' Maybe there's a spunky ex-cook adventurer that uses it for a weapon.
1) Museum piece, with attached scroll/plaque explaining it.
2) A god of cooking and matrimony, with this as a sacred relic. (You know the old line, right? 'Kissing wears out, cooking don't'?)
3) Why, praytell, is this odd skillet sitting around in the monster lair? Why is there a face in the bottom of it? And why is it in such good condition?
...Oh ye gods of chaos.
What evil are you planning next, Siren? The Baka Mallet? ;)
As an aside, I'll find a way to use this if I ever get my Talislanta game going. This kind of oddball trinket is ideal for a 'Weird Archaen Age Relic'.
I really like the backstory and quirkiness of the item.
Part of me reacts, 'but, it's just a frying pan!' and part of me wants to figure out how to build an adventure around it...
... and with an eerie, otherworldly voice, the Oracle spoke: 'Bring ye forth the Vessel of Ironspirit from its durance within the Hellcaves of Dalroth! Only one who has prepared the Orbs of the World Eagle within the Vessel may pass the Iron Guardians and achieve their quest!'
I voted on this long ago. I still love this post. Sure, it will not be included in an adventure, except perhaps as a bard's tale one night. However, it is a good piece of color for the Clan and for the 'would be adventurers', if the story has spread.
Think about the number of silly stories you know. What silly stories do your characters know? This helps bring parity to that number.
A good humourous tale to add to a night in the tavern.
Very nice, but wouldn't a frying pan with a face-shaped dent have uneven heat distribution and potentially make face-shaped pancakes? Either this allow is extremely malleable or Mariem has one helluva arm! It would make an excellent addition to a treasure hoard and it gave me a laugh.
Comedic Value, yo.
But if you have to explain it, well... it was forged by the finest mortal smith that ever lived. It might be able to pull it off even out of shape.
I enjoyed this sub. It would be an interesting challenge on how to honestly work this into an adventure.