Haven Fortress
The Haven Fortress, the name suggests protection and vacation, but it is far more then that...
The Haven Fortress in itself is inpenetrable. It stands on a high sheer cliff where the cliff meets the sea, the ocean pounds against the cliff so a naval attack is out of the question. The only way if to attack it from the front, but that way is guarded Holy Paladins, who protect the secrets that are housed in the Fortress, self-efficent to try to make the people inside starve inside would be useless.
It's full force of men is around 15,000 paladins and 2,000 archers, ruled as a city-state is independent and always stays neutral, never interfereing in world affairs.
The Holy Paladins come from all around the world, diffrent raises accepting them in their order without hesitation they teach them in their arts. They are devotely devoted to the God of Light and are very religous and poetic.
The Haven Fortress is guarded three ways by the cliff, and their only entrance has a moat running from one end to the cliff to the other side, a small narrow bridge is the only way around, falling into the water would mean death, as the people have added man eating eals in the water of the moat, that could shred a man to pieces
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? Responses (21)
I think I may use this in an up and coming RP.
Just ruin the bridge and let them stay in. If the thousands of warriors lock themselves up and you prevent them from breaking out, you don't have to battle them AT ALL.
Many fortresses are meant to guard more than just the people within...
Its true. It could be some kind of a long forgotten treasure hidden in there.
If you want treasure from an impenetrable fortress, it is easier to send thieves or a band of adventurers (=thieves) to do the job. Battling 15 000 paladins holed up in a castle? Not my idea of a well-spent time ;p
You would have to be either really stupid or just plain stupid
17,000 soldiers? That's an enormous fortress. It just seems to surreal to garner a better vote.
wonderful if only my dear Elfin fortress was half as big, then we could protect Ielia from other beings
Errr... No, it's not wonderful. It's a poorly-written post with very little info, very unrealistic numbers, no background, and plain boringness.
Can you imagine the difficulties in supplying 15,000 men in a remote fortress with only one entrance?! Not to mention, your little 'haven' becomes a deathtrap for the defenders when the opposing army simply camps on the other side of the bridge leading to the Fortress, blocking all supplies to the fortress, thus starving the paladins (boring cliches) to death, at which point the enemy strolls on in.
And in any case, why even attack it? I guess it's self-sufficient, so even if they don't starve to death, you'll never beat them. So just leave it. It has no purpose, because apparently, it's totally neutral in every way, and only observes world affairs.
Boring.
2/5.
I always thought paladins were busy messing with worldly affairs all over the world: 'Your goodness has been found not sufficient! Prepare to be smitten in a very holy way!'
So actually, I see them annoying -eh, aiding- the surrounding lands to no end :D
Captain Penguin I believe in freedom of speech, in many places this is not allowed, you are totally abusing this right. Yes we all have are own views but we all have feelings as well. Please in future think before you act
Dear Princess, that is called 'criticism'. He's not being abusive nor rude, he just plainly pointed out the flaws of this indeed rather weak post.
Am I abusing my freedom of speech if I say a movie is boring? Hardly so.
If a speech is boring, I will either leave or point out its lack of interesting content.
By posting here, all members subject their works to the judgement of others - it would serve no one if we talked like: 'Oh, forgive me my intrusion, but in my opinion, though irrelevant it may be to you, the post about the Haven Fortress could use improvement, no insult intended.'
Clearly, Princess, you don't understand the freedom of speech.
The freedom of speech is precisely the reason why I am allowed to say what I said.
It's the bit about the 15000 paladins and the place remaining 'neutral' that gets me. Not to start a holy war or anything, but in OUR game, Paladins are charged with seeking out evil and fighting it, not simply locking themselves into their own insular world of harmony and ignoring what's going on around them.
For more than a tinge of unbelievability(an impregnable fortress? how many truly impregnable fortresses exist, none), I have to give this a 2/5
I'm going to resurrect this vomitous piece of garbage just to point out that Princess Mwero thought I was attacking free speech.
THAT is why I think America's schools are failing.
And WHY IN THE HELL did I give this even 2 points?!
*dispels Captain's ressurect spell*
Sorry, but I think it should rest in peace.
It is already listed as a 'bad example' (see Free-Text). It is already on the list of 'Oh My God! Don't every do something like this!'
If you never commented on it, nobody would of noticed it until a bit of random pick up (which I am assuming how you found it again). In short... leave it alone. Otherwise it will soon be more active and popular than the most 'hit' post on the site... which is awful.
Actually, this could be most useful as an example of a legendary ideal fortress...
'Yes in the time of the Great Kings, when all men were ruled by wisdom and justice, the greatest of all strongholds was the Fortress of Haven. There, under the beneficient guidance of the Holy Patriarch of Light, did 15,000 paladins gather from all the lands of men. They committed themselves to good works and the study of the ancient lore, swearing nevermore to bring the sword against the peaceful kingdoms,' intoned the storyteller, as he related the ancient and well-embroidered tale. 'Someday, my son, the Great Kings will return to lead us anew, and wisdom and justice shall return to the benighted lands.'
As a 'real-world' fortress, it needs substantial rethinking. A stronghold similar to what you describe would be a city unto itself, with many thousands of additional people to provide the basic functions of society. A force of 17,000 would exceed the number of troops fielded by entire kingdoms in the Middle Ages, so a city that supported such a force of trained fighters would need a population numbering in the 100,000s, rivaling population centers such as Florence or London.
Consider that the medieval Crusaders numbered no more than 1,800 knights (with numerous other personnel present). Assuming that these 15,000 paladins were drawn from a large region, they would represent the total fighting force of a MASSIVE population: Approximately 15 million people, rivaling medieval France in numbers.
Details about the function of the city are called for: How do they conduct trade? Is it self-sufficient in the event of a seige? What sort of water supply and food stockpiles does it have? How does it deal with its wastes?
This could be reworked to be a good piece.
It has been.
Sangreal
http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=2229
Fantasy can do away with some logical problems, perhaps if this was how the place was spoken of by the unknowing and ignorant, maybe.
The reality would have been far, far different than this.