Since the invention of commercial gunpowder, there has been one company that dominates the realm of poorly placed containers of high explosives. The ACME Exploding Barrel and Crate company produces a variety of such destructible commodities.

The Model 1 Red Barrel
A long time product, the Model 1 superficially resembles a 55 gallon steel barrel paighted with bright red paint. A logo and text of the consumer's choice is available underneath dynamic bold lettering demonstrating the explosive power of the barrel. Scientists and engineers at the ACME company have spent countless hours creating a steel barrel that will explode 100% of the time when penetrated by a bullet. Not only do these barrels detonate in a reliable manner, they are also inexpensive and safe enoug to be handled by minions, henchmen, and mutants who are barely able to handle basic firearms or operate mechanical doors.

The Model 45 Yellow Barrel
Very much similar to the Model 1, the Model 45 contains alternate hazardous materials such as clouds of poisonous gas that causes rapid death, but also dissipates to harmlessness in a matter of seconds and requires no special ventilation of handling. The Model 45 comes with the same warranty as the Model, though do to the variety of chemicals involved is more expensive.

The WC-500 Wooden Crate
This wooden crate, handsomely emblazoned with words like Danger, High Explosives, and Ammo has a larger destructive capability than the standard red barrel. Unlike the barrels, this luxurious hand crafted craft cen be moved around to serve as impromptu stairs, triggers for traps, and ways to foil intrusion countermeasure systems. The WC-500 is also available in a bullet resistant, non-explosive model at signifigant discount.

Delivery and Customer Service
All ACME products are delivered in covered moving trucks staffed with able bodied and not quite intelligent goons who will efficiently offload your precious cargo of exploding barrels and or crates with a 100% gaurantee of non-exploding satisfaction. These barrels and or crates will be scientifically placed in optimal positions around your lair, warehouse, or military installation. Yes, after decades of Political Lobbying, the ACME company in associatin with OSHA no longer requires explosives to be handled only by trained personel, and hazmat rooms are no longer required for storage.

ACME...Because no other exploding barrel will do.

Login or Register to Award Scrasamax XP if you enjoyed the submission!
XP
295
HoH
1
Hits
7,288
? Hall of Honour (1 voters / 1 votes)
Hall of Honour
Cheka Man
? Scrasamax's Awards and Badges
Society Guild Journeyman Dungeon Guild Journeyman Item Guild Master Lifeforms Guild Master Locations Guild Master NPC Guild Master Organizations Guild Journeyman Article Guild Journeyman Systems Guild Journeyman Plot Guild Journeyman Hall of Heros 10 Golden Creator 10 Article of the Year 2010 NPC of the Year 2011 Most Upvoted Comment 2012 Article of the Year NPC of the Year 2012 Item of the Year 2012 Article of the Year 2012 Most Submissions 2012 Most Submissions 2013 Article of the Year 2013 Submission of the Year 2010