101 Useless or Trivial Super/Mutant Powers

 As a superhero or mutant, you have gained the power to:

1. Run twice as fast when naked
2. Make any candle burn with the power of two lumens
3. Know the full ancestry and family history of a person you don't know
4. Know whether a plane will crash after it has taken off
5. Change your ears to any shape imaginable
6. Teleport - but only to work
7. Time travel - but only to next Monday.
8. Accurately predict the score of any amateur mini-golf match
9. Predict the last three finishers of any horse race
10. Make anything taste like garlic
11. Gain control over one atom at a time
12. Change the message in anyone's fortune cookie
13. Change wine to water
14. Change silver to lead and gold to tungsten
15. Become completely nonbouyant
16. Increase or decrease the temperature of a room by 5 degrees
17. Make one other person believe that they have super powers
18. Instantly identify the source of any smell
19. Sweat Gatorade
20. Instantly gain as much weight as you like (you still have to work it off)
21. Make yourself invisible to one person at a time
22. Talk to pigeons
23. Hear what dogs are saying, but be unable to speak back
24. Turn any carpet to shag
25. Grow a tail (it has to be cut off)
26. Get a song stuck in someone else's head
27. Make anyone say an inappropriate word by pointing at them
28. Locking eyes with someone for a few seconds will cause them to urinate uncontrollably
29. Change anyone's keyboard layout to DVORAK
30. Make anyone .5 inches taller or shorter, but only when concentrating on that person
31. Give anyone an ice-cream headache
32. Excrete a pheromone that makes you utterly repulsive to members of the opposite gender
33. Speak puns in any language
34. Always know the location of the nearest public restroom
35. Emit a weak radioactive field
36. Bend all your joints backwards
37. Observe someone else's dreams
38. Use your saliva as a weak glue
39. Rearrange your facial features
40. Re-size any clothing to fit you perfectly
41. Make anything smell like wet dog
42. Slightly increase the effect of gravity around you
43. Make yourself test positive for any drug
44. Perfectly imitate the sounds from a modem, car alarm and microwave
45. Know your enemy's biggest personality flaw
46. Make any stain permanent
47. Infuse water with the scent of  pineapple
48. The ability to predict the results of any game played on a Tuesday
49. Attract lighting strikes
50. Increase someone's blood alcohol content through kissing
51. Forget the past hour of your life at will
52. Always land on your feet
53. Instantly turn milk to yogurt
54. Make your own hands super slippery
55. Know the middle name of anyone you encounter
56. Decrease the denomination of any bill by touching it
57. Run as quickly backwards as you can forwards
58. Make any liquid instantly become room temperature
59. Make a sound that will attract every cat within a half mile radius
60. Force all your body hair - including that on your head - to fall off at once
61. Drink salt water safely
62. Always remember if you're forgetting something
63. Always know where true North is
64. Predict to the minute the next rainfall
65. Always look like the wind is blowing through your hair, even indoors
66. Change the color of your urine
67. Transform into a minnow
68. Know if someone is watching you
69. Remember anything you read, but only for a day
70. Sprout daisies under your feet as you walk
71. Piss weak beer
72. Teleport one inch in any direction
73. Flap your arms so fast you can hover for up to five seconds
74. Set your own hair on fire
75. Shed your skin like a snake
76. Slow time down, but only for yourself
77. Jump twice as high as a normal person
78. Grow feathers in place of hair
79. Predict any coin flip, as long as you've touched the coin first
80. Create a two square foot spot of shade
81. Glow in the dark like a glowstick
82. Fill a room with confetti
83. Un-salt food.
84. Make any pillow explode in a burst of stuffing
85. Fart rainbows
86. Make others taste a nasty aftertaste
87. Make soda go flat with a touch
88. Puff muscles up with air/water to make them look bigger
    
89. Know what color underwear any person was wearing yesterday
90. Redirect the glare of the sun with your hand like a mirror
91. Make a clock run backwards (not time, just the clock)
92. Create a Marilyn Monroe upskirt wind at will (with effort can cause cape flapping breeze for effect)
93. Extend belly to beyond largest pregnant size
94. Hear radio frequencies in your head
    
95. Pour a cup of water from finger daily
96. Make someone feel pins and needles in their limbs while concentrating on them hard enough
    
97. Know what someone wants the instant before they do (only trivial things, though)
98. Use your dandruff as a mild sedative
99. Control one frog at a time
100. Make plants grow slightly faster by singing lullabyes to them
101. Cry Tobasco sauce