"Make sure you wing it before the Emperor draws back his arrow son, a few times if you can, but try not to be too obvious..."

Give your magic item a quick history. Then use the history to tie a whole bunch of things together that will make you look like a genius.

"All the guests were thoroughly checked before they entered the manse, my Prince. There was no sword on him...yet, he pulled the blade from his belt! But how..."

That Which Kills Without A Touch. The Sorrow of Aler.

A gun made by the God of the Dwarves

A Caribbean raft city

"Mad you call me? Every great mind is mad, and I would see the whole world great...."

-the Miskatonian, to one of his more talkative captives

'Oh great, another mouth to feed'

They didn't nickname him "Sparky" behind his back for nothing...

Maddoc sat amid a pile of unrecognizable corpses. Men, Dwarves, Orcs, you couldn't tell. He periodically took a stab at one with his new knife and screamed, 'STOP LAUGHING AT ME!'

The Hammer of the Dark can shroud your opponents in darkness, but if you use it too much, it is said that the darkness will fill your heart and lead to your own downfall.

A symbol of desired peace among the Flame and the Frost. The White Fang is a amplifier of chill winds and a pacifier of burning hearts, in the right hands.

"What I wouldn't kill for a rodent problem. I'd give anything for an infestation of plague-ridden rats. But no. We have Drakes. Bloody gods - it never ends."

"It's a bit rusted... but I think with time, you'll find that this ol' thing is a worthy travelling companion. And for you, miss... just 90 sovereigns."

-Mysterious Peddler

A sword that defines and exemplifies the city of Angradhat

Busy GMs need help prepping for games faster. And you can create fantastic magic items in just three minutes using my stat block.

Imagine this. You are the honored guest of the Conyamo himself and his chosen peers. You are placed at his right hand so everyone in attendance can look on you with wanting. Your every move, every breath will be watched. You are the highlight of this evening. Unfortunately, removing the talari eggs will cause you great pain. The nostrum I've just given you will not help the pain but it will burn your vocal cords so you do not disturb the dinner with your screams. With more than one talari loose inside you, you will beg for death. If you had a voice, and you will receive what you wish for. It will be a long and painful as they eat down to your hallows. I would almost pity you, but your not worthy of my pity. Do not worry though as my attendants are very skilled and will remove most of the eggs to be eaten, but not all. Enough of this dribble, be happy for tonight you are the honored guest of tonight’s celebration.

Syr Caran - Head Chef to the Conyamo

Melpomene's Espers? Ha! Let me know how that goes, and after that let me know when you find Atlantis and Jimmy Hoffa!

Brief bio of a space intel officer

30 in progress