Ramhir's Random Submissions - ( 9 )

Ramhir
Humanchild, the Waif from Fae By: Ramhir

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Humanchild, the Waif from Fae, here to tell you your future!"
"How come she ain't got no clothes on?"
"She was lost in Faerie and had to fend for herself for many years. No clothing shops in Faerie! We all know that eating Faerie food does strange things to you. For her, she became psychic, but only while she had no clothes on. If she dresses, she loses her psychic abilities, it's like she went blind and deaf!
"So, who wants to know your future? Just one silver piece to know how your endeavors will turn out!"
by Ramhir
10xp
6 replies
2240 views
Ramhir
The Golden Pool By: Ramhir

The adventurer rode into the golden-hued glade, looking around. If the tribesman he had 'persuaded' to help him hadn't been lying, it should be here. Ah, there it is, he thought. A small pool, with no inlet or outlet. Dismounting, he looked into the crystal-clear water. He could see goldfish swimming around, and beneath them the bottom was covered with golden statues of men and women, mostly nude but some with a kilt or loincloth.

“I'm rich,” he exulted. “That damn tribesman didn't die in vain!” He stripped off his clothes and armor, noting in passing that the ground was mounded, here and there, with weapons, armor, and other items, mostly rusted or rotted by time, and dove into the pool to begin gathering up his wealth.

Silence fell over the glade as the new statue settled onto the others littering the bottom.

by Ramhir
31xp
13 replies
2901 views
2 HoHs
Ramhir
The Starspawn By: Ramhir

The Armored Avenger is dead!"

"Look at him! He looks like hamburger, but his admantium armor is untouched! What could have done that?”

by Ramhir
33xp
17 replies
2942 views
Ramhir
The Inn of the Wild Geese By: Ramhir

"Hey, Hultz. What are you doing in here?"

"It's gonna move. I don't like it when it moves," the stableboy replied, sitting by the hearth with his arms wrapped around himself.

"What's going to move?"

"The Inn. I don't like it when it moves."

Five minutes later, he gets up and goes back outside.

"What was he talking about?" the newcomer asked a burly fighter.

"Go outside and take a look."

He goes over to the door and flings it wide. "See, it's all still ... Wait! Where did the town go!"

"Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Wild Geese." The fighter comes over with a mug of ale. "Here, you'll probably be needing this. I know I did, when it happened to me."

by Ramhir
42xp
14 replies
2709 views
1 HoH
Ramhir
The Strolenati Mountain Sheep By: Ramhir

The young mountain sheep came charging up the trail and into the Meadow of the Elders, past the startled Elder-Guards, and stopped, panting and half incoherent. 'Relax,' came a deep, amused voice in his mind. 'Take a deep breath, and then share your thoughts with us.'

'Yes, Revered One.' He took the deep breath advised, then trotted forward and touched his head to that of the Elder.

by Ramhir
18xp
15 replies
2284 views
Ramhir
The Ska'ag By: Ramhir

The Ska'ag warrior lay in his hide, watching the intruders.

“The Makers,” he thought. It had been many generations since the last one had died, but there was no doubt. They were back. “I have to warn the People.”

by Ramhir
17xp
6 replies
2105 views
Ramhir
BattleSteeds By: Ramhir

“So, you want to buy a horse?” the grizzled Catfolk horse-master said.

“Yes. I'd like to buy a battlesteed and I'll pay whatever you ask,” the human replied.

“No. We never sell the Little Brothers of the Clan. Find a regular horse instead.”

“But my Lord wants a battlesteed and ...”

“No.”

by Ramhir
12xp
24 replies
2541 views
Ramhir
Pocket Army By: Ramhir

The peddler was pulling odd things from his pack, extolling each as he laid them down – one shoe that changed colors, a knife carved from wood, a mummified bird. “And this,” he said, pulling a 1 foot square box of stone out of his pack, “is all the friends you will ever need.” He opened it up, showing the carved stone statues of warriors inside. He took one out and stood it on the ground, where it changed to flesh and blood, stretched, then pulled the sword from its sheath and saluted them with it. “An army in your pocket! For a mere thousand gold! A bargain!”

by Ramhir
27xp
11 replies
2385 views
1 HoH
Ramhir
The Shield of Hope By: Ramhir

The High King is dead. He died on a quest to find the stolen Crown of Destiny. As he died, he activated the ability on his armor, Fly To The Four Winds, which randomly transported his sword, Cut-Steel, and his shield, The Shield of Hope, to far-off places so they would not be taken by his foes.

by Ramhir
31xp
8 replies
2301 views