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Humor/ Editorial
Gaming - In General
3.35
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21xp


Hits: 1073
Comments: 16
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.35
Condition: Normal
ID: 6236

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Updated:
January 13, 2011, 8:32 am

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Things Are Not Always As They Seem

By:

This humorous short fiction piece was inspired by a late night chat with a couple gamer friends about how alien cultures would possibly interpret some of the more "colorful" aspects of our society.  

 

Rathestha' knowledge seeker of the insectoid attack fleets salvage and repair vessel Karresh, entered the cargo bay of the cruiser with a brief nod to the guards on duty, making swift progress amongst the debris strewn across the floor towards his companion Klik'ta, who's quivering antenna expressed deep interest in a piece of the wreckage salvaged from the human vessel they had destroyed earlier on that day. 
 
"What is it you are examining hmm?" Rathestha' chittered, peering closely at a stack of colored paper grasped in his friends claw. 
 
"A dinner menu it would seem." Klikta responded hesitantly, angling the open magazine for easier viewing by them both. 
 
"Dinner? That's a picture of two of their females, not food!" Rathestha scoffed, waving his antenna energetically. 
 
"Actually if you look closer you will see that is not the case." Klik'ta responded calmly, pointing closer to the picture. "First you'll notice the lack of clothing this one is wearing compared to what is obviously see thru dining garments covering the other. Next notice how this females mouth is pressed firmly against the others body, and her tongue is extruded across the other ones skin in what is no doubt their way of tasting the meal for quality before eating begins." 
 
Rathestha' paused and peered closer, the lights of the cargo bay reflecting off of his multi faceted eyes as he pondered the new information. 
 
"Also look here," Klik'ta continued, flipping the pages of the tattered book. "You see this female here; she is applying a food paste product to the other creatures body, what Seltuthpa says is known as choke-o-late sauce." His mandibles struggled to produce the foreign word and he continued after a slight pause. "It's a sweet syrup poured over other foods to improve their flavor. No doubt this female is putting it on the other ones body before eating." 
 
"Most odd." Rathestha agreed, chittering softly in concern. "To eat another of your species, especially a life giver is most vile; it seems the queen was wise to have this species destroyed." 
 
Klik'ta nodded, tossing the well worn magazine back into the pile of salvaged goods. "As always, her knowledge is supreme beyond all doubt..."


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Comments ( 16 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Ramhir
January 13, 2011, 21:05
5xp

An interesting concept, and well-written. Two sides of the same coin - is it porno or gourmet? 

Voted Murometz
January 13, 2011, 21:55
0xp

Clever and droll. I like it!

Voted Pieh
January 13, 2011, 22:22
5xp

Ha! That was a cute read. I agree with the others. Very fun, Sil.

Voted Moonlake
January 13, 2011, 23:33
0xp

Short and sweet and funny

Voted Dossta
January 14, 2011, 12:07
0xp

A lesson to us all.

Voted EchoMirage
January 17, 2011, 4:30
5xp

I can't help myself, but I'd have welcome a more extensive sub, with more misconceptions aliens could have about us. Luckily, it is a scroll.

Silveressa
January 17, 2011, 6:58
0xp
Fun idea Echo, I could have expanded upon it, but I felt the humor over misconceptions would wear thin rather quickly. If anyone feels like continuing with the theme, by all means, go for it. :)
EchoMirage
January 17, 2011, 16:39
0xp
Not necessarily the "girl-eating-girl" theme, but generally ways human behaviour could be misunderstood by various alien species.
Pieh
January 17, 2011, 16:59
5xp
http://www.offthemarkcartoons.com/cartoons/2006-05-30.gif

I remembered this panel of Off The Mark when I saw this comment. Seemed relevant.
Murometz
January 17, 2011, 18:28
0xp
lol! Good one
Voted valadaar
January 25, 2011, 14:38
0xp

Heh - we could get in a lot of trouble if aliens were to judge humanity by it's porn...

Voted axlerowes
January 30, 2011, 20:33
0xp
cute

reminds me of (in no small way) Chris Anvil's "The Trouble with Human
MysticMoon
February 3, 2011, 11:46
0xp
That looks like a good read. I will have to check it out.
Voted MysticMoon
February 3, 2011, 11:57
5xp

Definitely entertaining. Am I reading too much into this or are the aliens unintentionally using double entendre?

Silveressa
February 3, 2011, 16:58
0xp
Aye, that they are, very perceptive Mystic. ;)
Voted Michael Jotne Slayer
February 22, 2011, 7:54
0xp

Well written. A solid fiction post.

Freetext



Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Racy Religion

       By: Spark

On a certain continent, nearly all kingdoms worship under the same pantheon. However, in the southern reaches the peoples take a much more...liberal stance on their Gods. Statues are nude, and very anatomically correct, and icons are often startlingly brazen. For instance, the icon of (insert name), the goddess of love, is an image of two nude twins embracing in a passionate kiss, signifying the love of both family and partner. This is a source of unending outrage and offense for the Northern churches, whose traditional and modest take on religion is constantly at odds with the near-blasphemous ideals of the Southerners. While this is not enough to provoke outright conflict, there is more than enough simmering discontent and long-held grudges between the two hemispheres.

Ideas  ( Society/ Organization ) | January 12, 2008 | View | UpVote 1xp


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