Items
Potion
Non-Magical
3.92
6 Votes

21xp


Hits: 3978
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.9167
Condition: Normal
ID: 3704

Submitted:

Updated:
June 8, 2007, 11:36 pm

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Goblin Snuff

By:

This stuff will make you a sexual Red-Frilled Blood Dragon.

Jesk, Orcish gladiator

Full Item Description
Goblin Snuff is a russet colored powder with a coarse and semi-fibrous consistancy. It has a mildly unpleasant odor reminiscent of old ground up leather and mold. It is most commonly carried in a leather pouch, though some orcs and goblins have adopted other containers to keeping their snuff clean and dry.

History
The goblins are credited with first discovering the medicinal properties of the T’gakk’o plant, also known as tobacco. The earliest forms were bundles of leaves that were twisted together and allowed to cure in the air and dry. These twists would then be chewed vigorously, the properties of the T’gakk’o keeping the chewers alert and calm when other goblins would go *Felsk.

Later on, the herb spread in popularity, and rather than slobber on ropes of dried leaves, humans would instead burn the dried and crumbled leaves in wood, stone, and bone pipes. Goblins never quite acclamated to using pipes, tending to bite and chew anything in their mouth, rather than just hold it. The zettelette pioneered in Vandergraff received even less enthusiasm than the pipe, because unlike a pipe, the zettelette was not even crunchy or good to chew on.

Eventually, a goblin apothecarist stumbled upon a novel solution, grinding the powder to a very fine consistancy and then snorting it. This caused rapid infusion into the bloodstream, had a mild side effect of limiting hayfever and other seasonal allergies, as well as keeping the mouth free of debris, and fire out of goblin hands.

Magic/Cursed Properties
Goblin Snuff causes a mild ‘buzz’ or slight euphoric sensation, and is moderately habit forming. As a negative, it slowly erodes the lining of the nose leavinga good number of goblins with ruined sinuses, bloody nasal discharge and large sores. Humans are not immune to this, but are generally more willing to stop or decrease usage when it starts to hurt.

Felsk - n, adj - n, state of urgent panic characterized by running around in circles and screaming incoherently. adj, to do something in rushed or panicked fashion, exceptionally poor work done very quickly.



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Comments ( 7 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Jarons20
February 28, 2007, 5:21
0xp
Felsk is my new favorite word, right up there with Bojo

This is a very interesting drug and I love the addition of how human noses react to it, stupid gobs
Voted manfred
February 28, 2007, 6:41
0xp
Felsk is definitely a great word!

And the snuff, ehh, sub is pretty fine as well, nothing above a little colourful detail that makes a race alive; and imagine the odd human that partakes of it. The intro was also good...

Simply sweet.
Voted Cheka Man
February 28, 2007, 11:03
Only voted
Voted Wulfhere
February 28, 2007, 11:32
0xp
As the guildsman started to leave the zettelette vendor's stall, clearly unimpressed at the man's selection, a small figure tugged upon his cloak hem. Looking down, he noticed a well-dressed goblin, rather short and stout, even among goblins. The creature looked about furtively, and hissed, "Hey, mister! Ya' wanna try something... different?"

Somehow I see extremely silly plots coming of this: Battles to secure the snuff monopoly, accursed magical snuffboxes, religious crusades against goblins and their snuff-huffing ways, arranged marriages derailed because of the bride's covert snuff addiction...

Yes. Great fun is there, waiting for one warped enough to seize it.

Several of my co-workers have been Felsk for years.
Voted valadaar
February 28, 2007, 15:00
0xp
Well done and amusing!
Voted Ancient Gamer
February 28, 2007, 17:07
0xp
Well, it is always nice to see such minor items. While I do not consider them groundbreaking, I prefer to use them as a GM. My score reflects that I think this is more like a scroll entry than a sub of its own. 3.25->3.5/5
Voted MoonHunter
May 24, 2007, 18:52
0xp
This submission gets a +1 just for the word: Felsk. You should make that a system's post. Then make it a scroll as we can list 101 ways a goblin can go Felsk.

Other than that, I like the way this sub goes. I like the permutations. I actually like it better than the linked Goblin Sub.

Link Backs

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Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Hooper McFin's Two Shot Portal

       By: dudeington

Now, this ol' ramblin fellow tends to walk his talk a bit too far down the train sometimes.. So I'll be brief in my recantin' of how it was my Tavern "came to bein'" on the multiverse as a weave of it's own spell.. And how I'm even alive to tell the story!

You see it's simple really, trust me.. that's my specialty, keepin it elementary. And you can trust this old Bard.

Anyway, this one night these wizards get a ramblin' on about the temporal exististance of space and time and how it could be manifested in a weave of super dimensional space. whereupon the folded space would give rise to an infinite number of entrances and exits to one or many spaces. Now, seein' how my talkin' sometimes get's locked into the way us folks used to talk back in the ol' west. These wizards didn't know I was a master of the word. and I had heard everything they said. They were also a bit over the wagon, while I was steerin' the show.

So that's how it came to pass, I struck a bargain with the wizards. They come to me in the morning and conjure up their idea into reality and I'd pledge them my life, my existance.. in essence my soul. but in a much nicer sense of the word. So they came by in the morning a half remembering our talks the prior evenin'. And I recanted their words verbatum, and that's how it came to be. The spell was complete that afternoon. My tavern would be the super dimensional cube that would exist in this weave of space and time, folks could come and go as they please, knowin in mind some of the rules and limitations set forth.

A few of 'em as follows.

No feller can be causin a ruckus inside any of my fine establishments, as always rule number one god damnit.

n' second the portal works kinda tricky. When ya outside ya cast the spell and lend your will to luck a bit and regardless the doors to the bar will appear, the windows a luminescent amber.. you can hear the chattee but ya can't see in. And the catch is the door might be locked, in which case you chalk it up to lady luck and go walk off and try again in an hour. Now most times the door pops right open and from the outside you always come in the front door, immediately greeted by myself or one of our many fine patrons of Hooper McFin's Ale & Steakhouse.

Now when ya cast the spell from inside the Tavern, another catch comes up. The back door is mainly a secret for the non-initiated staff and the regulars but for sake of the prose let's assume we all know there's a secret door in the back with a portal there. Now when you go on through this one, you got two scenario's you oughta be aware of. One is ya pop outside relative to the same spot you came out. The other is, you walk back on into this one or another of our many Hooper McFin's Ale & Steakhouse.

so it's a clever quantum railroad I got my tavern and my people's caught on. But, Hey the show's sure as always goin. ohhh' rutin tootin skidoodle -

** And that's it.. that's the only notes I found on the spell, apparently out there somewhere is a Tavern caught on the mighty ebb and flow of the multiverse. Well. at least I can put to rest my torment as to the condition now referred to as "Hooper McFin's Teleportation Paranoia".

Dr. Clarke T. Mulligan - Professional researcher of Time & Space.

Hooper McFin's Ale & Steakhouse

Ideas  ( System ) | June 21, 2015 | View | UpVote 4xp


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