Ranged Weapons
8 Votes


Hits: 1995
Comments: 8
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.6875
Condition: Normal
ID: 5695


March 10, 2009, 7:22 pm

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Murphy Cannon


Somewhere, in some reality, something is moving really really fast in that direction.

Full Item Description
A Murphy Cannon works by bending Murphy’s Law, which is to say if something can happen, it will.
It looks like a very chunky, very long cannon. It doesn’t need any recoil support, and as such the base is simply enough to move and aim the cannon itself.

The Pan-Dimensional Ballistic Mass Commandeering Unit (Only later nicknamed the ‘Murphy Cannon’) was developed as an ammunition-free alternative to traditional long range weaponry. When active, the area within the cannon exists simultaneously in all parallel dimensions, and due to the way that these dimensions fold in on each other effectively all reality exists inside one while it is on. When firing, it simply extracts an item or part of a large item that is already moving in that direction at a great speed. This often means asteroids and meteors, as well as other debris from space.
To avoid flinging stardust or spitballs, there are some filtering controls. Density of object, minimum and maximum weight, velocity and more can all be controlled. However, the more specific the settings, the longer the cannon will take to find such an object, and there will be a longer delay between or before firing. 

Though they succeeded at being ammunition free, the considerable fluctuation in effect made the military seek other directions. A few still can be found in use, either as novelties or as actual weapons. The owners rarely sell them, but when they do they usually go for a reasonably low price. It’s not highly reliable as a weapon, after all.

Other Properties

The fatal flaw of the Murphy Cannon is that when you fold dimensions in on themselves too much, they tend to stick together. If there is more than a single such cannon operating in a nearby area, which is to say about a kilometer, the cannons will fold space and knot themselves together. The end result is that if someone tries to fire one of these linked cannons, they will both appear in a random location (usually within a couple of kilometers) inextricably twisted into a gnarled chunk of metal.

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Comments ( 8 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted angryscotsman93
March 11, 2009, 0:08
Holy.... crap. That is freaking AWESOME, mate! I love the idea of a gun actually using the very laws of physics for its operating system, especially such a powerful weapon! Cheers, Grey, me boyo!
Voted Murometz
March 11, 2009, 9:54
Nice. An esoteric, 'probability' weapon!
Voted manfred
March 11, 2009, 17:15
It would suck to be in a spaceship in some alternate dimension and have a part of it ripped out for ammo. This feels like it is out of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, oddly realistic, but still fun.
Voted Scrasamax
March 11, 2009, 21:34
Seems like alot of effort to circumvent basic logistics, not bad, but a bit too zany for my tastes.
Voted valadaar
March 12, 2009, 19:32
A truly odd device, but it has the Hitchhikers feel or even Doctor Who to it as well.
Voted Cheka Man
March 13, 2009, 18:05
A handy cannon to have.
Voted herrozerro
November 15, 2010, 8:55

Only Voted

Voted axlerowes
April 6, 2013, 10:20
I like the idea, I like the absurdity of it, but you could have done more with the potential pitfalls sections.

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       By: Strolen

Something lives in the fog in a certain region and travels with the fog. Kidnaps or kills, or is simply heard and "felt". ... fog is rising, heed the warnings the elders spoke!

Encounter  ( Any ) | February 16, 2003 | View | UpVote 0xp

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