The League of Fox
In the First Age, long ago by any standard, The League of Five Fox rebelled against the repressed society of the Kingdoms fighting against the idol rich, the Lords and Barons of the land, and those who didn't care for their own countrymen, this made them outlaws in the eyes of the ruling class.
In the beginning they were lead by a short rogue named Eric Fletcher. He was of lesser height then most, his stature mirroring his status as the son of a farmer, but he was a crack shot and fast. Under his guidance the League fought swift and smart, like the animal that became their namesake and the model for their work. Learning a mastery of archery under Red Fox the five applied their skill against any target pointed out by his discerning eye quickly becoming a thorn in the side of the territorial armies and the men who owned them.
As the age passed Red Fox continued to speak out against the ruling class and teach others his skill and techniques as the League grew in size, but the world had changed. Those who hunted him began to take their frustrations out on those who protected him, gave him sanctuary, and as he lost friends he put more of his time and his energy into bringing the ones responsible down from their lofty towers.
Eric commissioned the construction of 10 additional uniforms and was ready to call for more. Picking from the children of the original four fighters who had long passed, he gave his favorite students the original uniforms and the others received the newer suits with the promise that their children would also be allowed to dawn them in the future, but Eric, The Red Fox of Taught String, was slain before he would ever see his plans come to fruition.
One of the Fifteen was approached by the general of the Lords private guard with the intent to turn him against his leader and perhaps spare his own life in the process but the message was passed directly to Red Fox, who sent his students and those of the League to find safety with their families and destroy the uniforms and recognizable bows so that they would suffer no repercussions. Eric fought alone against those sent to kill him as they came into firing range only to die from an attack from behind by poisoned blade. He never saw his killer or felt them coming, even as he tried to turn and face them the world grew black.
Red Fox was dead but the League had not scattered as he commanded. As his body was taken by troops to burn, the Fourteen came down upon them attacking from the trees and bushes circling the remaining force.
Grabbing the body of their fallen leader, The League of Fox disappeared into the woods spiriting it away to the East so that neither his body nor armour could be used as trophy. The League disbanded but did not destroy the armour. Some hid it, not willing to destroy the ideals it represented, others handed them down to their children with the stories of Red Fox. Even in this era his tale continues, these children telling their children, and so on, but in some generations the armour was discarded or lost when the stories attached to them were forgotten, some bows still exist, and there are still those who remember. But can the fractured league be reunited without the Fox?
Recovery of stolen goods from thieves taken from an old man. In one satchel is found his bow, of excellent quality amongst items of a more impoverished soul. The return of the dark red wood bow may loosen his lips to recount the tale of Red Fox.
A Lord is cracking down on thieves and anyone else he suspects of treachery. Something was taken from right under his nose by a bandit dressed in a very recognizable armour with a hood, red and eared. Who has one of the uniforms of the League, or is it real?
The party may stumble on the tale and search for the body's resting place and of course the loot, unbeknownst they are being watched from the trees, arrows aimed at their heads.
The group that destroyed the league is still in power. To defeat them for another purpose can they call on the remaining League for help?
Rumours that the Red Fox is still alive may prompt justice seekers to bring an end to his banditry and bring him to, well, justice for his crimes. Or they may get paid...money is good
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? Responses (13)-13
Welcome! This embattled band is a good first submission! It is creative and has a number of ways that it could be used. You have a knack for vivid writing.
The League of Fox can be an excellent piece, but it would benefit from some revision. This has potential, but you overestimate our ability to understand the vision you spread before us.
Please add an introductory paragraph with more about Red Fox and this group he formed. As I understand it, in the 'First Age' (of ?), a short rogue named Eric, also known as the 'Red Fox of Taught String', organized a criminal band. The purpose of this group is not clear.
Eventually, one of the group's 15 members was approached by their enemies, who wanted him to betray Red Fox. He instead warned his leader, who ordered the others into hiding and attempted to hold off their enemies alone so his men could escape.
They disobeyed him and avenged his death, carrying off his remains.
Questions that I would like to know more about include the following: What did they stand for? Are these rebels, freedom fighters, soldiers, or bandits? Why should they reform?
Red Fox was evidently killed by treachery. Was his killer a member of his band, some other betrayer not detected?
As a minor style note, if you add an extra space between each paragraph, it is easier to read.
Please revise this; let it achieve its potential!
You offered some good advice here, Wulfhere! It seems to me that Red Fox was a skilled rebel/freedom fighter, with the legends and all.
I see this is more a legendary organisation, than a present one. Is there a chance of it to re-form again, if the resistance is not over yet? Or there actually exist individuums, and tiny groups, that follow the example, but are not organised together in any way?
So let us know you have done the update
You could leave the 'Generic Exalted' information in... but make sure you list it as an Exalated piece
Designed for Exalted Campaign at the top of the body of the piece. It may not help the scoring, but it will let you have generic Exalted information be included.
Might I suggest that you add more line returns and spaces between paragraphs and sections? It makes it easier to read.
And loose the last line here Can the fractured league be put together without the Fox?
Now I would like you to add 'plot hooks' how one might utilize this group in their campaign, without the PCs being members of the group.
Updated: A little bit of editing
Did not see it when it came in, but I think this is a really good first post and an interesting take on a rebel group.
The plot hooks are pretty good as well!
A nice update, that we have missed apparently. A little spellcheck may be still in order, but the concept laid out is complete.
Plot hook: what if the rebel leader, so popular, that he inspires acts of resistance even after so many years, is not completely dead... well, dead he is, but a ghost of him is rumoured to persist, unable or unwilling to pass on. And then, somebody is captured in the red armour, and claims to have been possessed by his ghost! Is it just the lie of a criminal, or is the ghost really around, after all those years, possessing people and trying to bring down those that killed him. A paranoid ruler would definitely want to check this.
Nicely done. Good ideas. A little choppy in parts (and the said mentioned spell check). Try reading the post outloud and you will find the spots I am mentioning. Still a nice semi-legendary little group. Paw up
Updated: Trying again, rewrote some sentences so they sound gramatically correct
Not many people go back again and again for the purposes of improving a post. Good job, Jarons20, and welcome, I missed this one the first time around somehow. The plot hooks are fun. Looking forward to your next idea! (or a further unveiling of the legends surrounding the League of Fox.)
I somehow missed this one originally as well and thank you to Cheka Man and Muro for bringing it back.
I echo a lot of statements made here about readability/ thought process, etc. The who, what, where, why, and when are minorly detailed and in some points vague. While that is a good thing to do for a generic concept to be dropped into any campaign world, it needs more to understand the whys.
Who did kill him and why? Was it one of his men? What was his motivation? Did the man that told him of the raid actually lead him out into the open to be killed, making it seem like he was trying to warn him? But knowing his morals and personality he knew that Eric would stand alone? Possible.
Was it a mear assassin who followed the presumed turncaot and waited for the silent moment of judgement? Also possible, if a bit simplistic.
It is mentioned about passing from children to children, to children. How many generations has passed since the original group was formed? If it has been three generations then that is still a short enough time that the group still should be fresh in the mind of the locals and nobles. If that is the case then the feeling about them will be far different then the feeling and vibe I am getting off reading this. To me it seems they are long gone and forgotten. But if it is only a few generations then they still should be strong and the possibility of them reforming should be almost a given if the nobles are still cracking down on the populace.
That is my long winded 2 cents... hope it actually makes sense.
I know you have changed a lot of this since people 1st voted, but I think this a jumbled mess. So perhaps this has been over edited.
The overall post conveys very little, you would give us just as much information if you had said "What if Robin Hood died a martyr and lived on as a legend" This is devoid of any detail, the details it does provide are unclear and thus distracting and it lacks surprise or novelty.
I have listed some sections and followed those up with questions.
1)-Learning a mastery of archery under Red Fox the five applied their skill against any target pointed out by his discerning eye quickly becoming a thorn in the side of the territorial armies and the men who owned them.-
You don't introduce the five prior this sentence. This I believe is important, as you discuss later the children of the original five, the uniforms they wore must have been distinctive, and that those uniforms are some how passed one so that with the addition of 10 uniforms you have 15 members. Additionally, and this is less important, we don't know if the League are assassins , robbers or warriors trying to carve out territory. It may be enough to know that they were hated by the nobles, but if you had a larger vision of the League's tactics and methods it is not coming through.
2 (three parter) -As the age passed Red Fox continued to speak out against the ruling class and teach others his skill and techniques as the League grew in size, but the world had changed.-
A) What did Red Fox have to say besides he ruling class was bad? He obviously wanted a ruling class that put the people first but did he have specific model in mind?
B) -the League grew is size- Does the League consist of more than the 5-15 warriors?
C)The world changing suggests that there was a paradigm shift in the types of institutions and values of society. All you say in this paragraph is that the nobles were getting more ruthless in their pursuit of him. Considering his original beef with the Nobles that seems par for the course.
3)-construction of 10 additional uniforms -
Again is there something special about these uniforms?
4)-was slain before he would ever see his plans come to fruition.-
What was his plan? Had the League been destroyed and he been acting alone? Was he going to start an open rebellion? By promising the fighters places for their children in his organization was he laying the ground work for a herditary feudal system?
5)-One of the Fifteen was approached by the general of the Lords private guard with the intent to turn him against his leader and perhaps spare his own life in the process but the message was passed directly to Red Fox,-
5-A) It is 15 including Red right?
5-B) So Red walks knowingly into the trap so that the Lord will think his plan worked and he won't punish the member of the 15 who warned Red?
6)-League had not scattered as he commanded. As his body was taken by troops to burn, the Fourteen came down upon them attacking from the trees and bushes circling the remaining force.-
They watched him die and waited until after he was dead to act?
7) What were Red Fox's last words? I am going to guess they were something like
"This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!"
8) Again what is the deal with his armor?
9) This post has a fairly high score. Is this a really good post and I am just a fool?
Seriously has this changed a lot since the original post?