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Hits: 5423
Comments: 11
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.75
Condition: Normal
ID: 3130


September 23, 2006, 8:59 pm

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Cheka Man

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Demon Rum


When you face a foe in desperate life-or-death combat, there’s nothing like getting good and liquored up first…

“He’s a nice enough fellow, but you don’t want to be around when he’s been drinkin’!”

For all the complaints that moralists have leveled at the indiscriminate drinking of strong spirits, few have experienced the evil power of the distilled ichor that is Demon Rum.  Created in an alchemical quest to gain supernatural power and untiring strength, this vile liquid has distinctly mixed effects on its drinkers. 

Demon rum has a vile taste, described by some as “distilled road scrapings”.  The first time that some is consumed, it produces a pleasant euphoria, heightens strength and eliminates fatigue.  Few negative effects are noticed, but the drinker’s inhibitions are slightly effected.  This may lure the drinker into consuming more, despite the liquor’s disgusting flavor. 

Additional drinks of the deceptive libation will have the same effects, but the drinker will become increasingly brutish and grotesque.  The drinker will become convinced that they are a seductive paragon, even as the revolting beverage causes their hair to become thicker and matted and their odor becomes pungent and rank.  The drinker additionally becomes short-tempered and lecherous, but none of this is apparent to the intoxicated drinker, who feels ready to fight or begin some heroic quest, and is increasingly dominated by impulse and caprice.  Unlike normal liquors, however, demon rum doesn’t impair reaction times or coordination.  The drinker is fully capable of fighting, even as his judgment goes straight to hell (somewhat literally).

This revolting liquor is found most often in military camps, where its ability to inspire soldiers entering combat is legendary.  Troops facing the enemy as a “forlorn hope” will be “demoned up” to produce untiring power and boldness at the same time that it makes the fools unable to realize that they are about to be slaughtered.

The day after drinking this foul liquor, the drinker will experience one of the worst hangovers known to man (If they’re lucky, they’ll get killed first).  Incapacitated, they will suffer migraines, vomiting, disorientation, and shakes.  The easiest cure for this is “the hair of the dog”, but soldiers succumbing to this may begin down the path toward addiction.  In as little as a week or two of regular use, the drinker can become desperately addicted.  Even worse, after a few months of regular use, the negative effects of the drink may even start to become permanent.

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Comments ( 11 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Cheka Man
September 23, 2006, 22:24
A true evil alcohol. 5/5
Voted Shadoweagle
September 23, 2006, 23:02
Oooooooooh, Misery!

This holds a special place in my heart, for as I type, I am suffering from a hangover :D

A short, but good submission. The only additional information I'd like to know is what exactly is Demon rum made from, and why does "his judgment goes straight to hell somewhat literally".
September 23, 2006, 23:17
This dire libation is crafted carefully from only the finest ingredients: Fermented Cane Sugar, Banana, Cinnamon, Ginger, Pomegranate Puree, Jimsonweed, Old Combat Boots, Hair Tonic, Mare's Sweat, and a small amount of road scrapings... Actual Demonic Ichor is optional, but preferred.
Voted manfred
September 24, 2006, 13:51
Funny one. :)
Voted Pariah
September 24, 2006, 21:33
September 25, 2006, 0:14
Pardon me, but my Orcish is kind of rusty... Is that good or bad?

("Are you a GOOD drink or a BAD drink?" asked the fairy bartender of the North)
Voted MoonHunter
September 29, 2006, 9:44
A solid average sort of post. A balanced item resonably well executed.
Voted Scrasamax
September 29, 2006, 13:14
Interesting, but this one falls flat for me. As far as I can tell this is a nasty tasting liquor that makes people brutish and ugly, but think they are quite the opposite. While this is pretty much true of most liquors, I felt the sub lacked a certain punch, I kept expecting the other boot to drop, so to speak.
Voted Murometz
September 29, 2006, 13:33
This one is in honor of SE's vodka night correct? :D
September 29, 2006, 13:35
Yessir! It brought back memories!
Voted valadaar
September 19, 2007, 14:21
Ahar! In honor of the Spake Like a Pirate Day Ahar!

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