Candlegouger
A scimitar for the shadow, for the theif, for the assassin but most of all for the Drow.
Although it is not something you hear everyday, a kobold forged the scimitar. The kobold was the leader of a very powerful guild. The guild located around Myth Mountian. Which happens to be the site of a very large deposite of Mithril and other rare metals. An event was to be coming up between the guilds of the land and each one was to donate awards for the winner of this event.The kobold being advanced in alot of things, such as magic and smithy, developed the weapon to donate to the contest.He worked day and night on it to make it just right,he wanted to show just how good he was to the other guilds. After many days of work the scimitar was finished. It was made of of a black steel with a very fine edge that would never dull. The hilt was also black but the design was unique. It was of a shadow fiends head. Why a shadow fiend one might ask? Because a shadow fiend is a creature who relies on darkness and the shadow, hence the name Shadow Fiend.The abilities of the sword also rely on the shadow. The kobold put a magic in it that would make even the loudest of people the quietest of assassins. The blade has been wielded by many, mostly Drow,and taken lives and now is looking for more.
Magical Properties:
1. Makes the wielder blend or almost invisible to the eye if in the shadows.
2. No foot steps are heard as you walk if you wield the weapon.
3. Lowers your body temperature so creatures with infrared can not even see you.
4.Downfall: Once out of the shadow the invisible power wears off.
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? Responses (19)
There were no votes a second ago, then I voted 2/5, and now it has a rating of 2.67...
Please let other people decide how to rate your submissions. Then, pat yourself on the back for thier praise, not your own ego stroking.
Moving on...
You mention that the kobold forging the scimitar is unusual, and I agree, but why did he do it? You need to fill that out. The friend who still wields it, is a drow or hates drow, I can't tell from your description. I doubt many people here know what a shadow fiend is, I know I don't. This must be a powerful kobold to forge swords and imbue them with magic. Why did he do all this anyway?
The sword is a upside, but the powers aren't really overpowerful, as long as they have limits. How long can you stay invisible? If it's unlimited, it is unbalanced. Infrared is kind of a munchkin/ rules lawyer kind of thing, but not that important.
I do commend you for not useing any system specific stats, good job there. As the sword is, I can use it in any game.
2/5
Boring backstory. Wow. Some thing made a scimitar.
How did this apparently average kobold make such a weapon? What does this have to do with the drow?
The powers are so-so. I can adjust them in ways so that they are good or bad. My players would probably find huge loopholes, though, and that's bad. You don't want loopholes.
I agree with Agar on all points, so it must be a...
2/5.
Oh, by the way, good job pulling the name of it out of an R.A. Salvatore book.
*sigh*
About the vote thing...that was an accident I didn't even know I did it...and the name came from a friend I didn't know. Sorry I'm still clueless about some things.
Think of this as a starting off point. Now that you see what we like and don't like, use that advice in your next post, and maybe come back here sometime and work this up again.
And kick your friend in the shin.
how could other characters use it if the kobold's friend has it?
How could others use it? well steal it from the friend of the kobold.
(Or bargain for it if they are the more scurpulous kind.)
Is there realy loopholes? well that depends on how you look at it... I think there are no loopholes, because what ever you do, this item is system independent and as such I need to translate it to for instance D&D. If there are loopholes after the translation, then they are my fault. All in all I can imagine that some people would like to know why the kobold made the sword.
I'd normaly give this item a 3/5 because I am in doubt, but since so many people have been quite unfriendely about it, I will even go for 4/5.
But other then that, this sword is like the whispering dead and it deserves a much higher rating.
Sorry, Ylorea but I disagree. This item lacks any sort of originality. It's a black sword forged by a kobold which makes you go invisible. Why not submit an axe which was made by a goblin and which makes you resistant to fire? It lacks depth. What it needs is more character.
For instance, why is there a shadow fiend's head on the hilt? Was the kobold possessed by a shadow fiend when he was forging the sword and it's the fiend's power with which the blade is imbued? If so, who is the shadow fiend and why did he want to do this?
This item has potential, but needs development. I'm reserving my vote until then...
ephe!
*sigh* the item is bleak, without purpose, and lacks ... glamour. 'Tis as an explanation of my former *sigh*
Hows that? Perhaps, alittle better? i changed the name and added alittle more depth.
That is certainly an improvement :) Now we know who the kobold was, why he has created the item and the significance of the design has been made clear. I'd still say the story was a little uninventive, but that's more of an aesthetic judgement.
ephe!
Better than before...
This is both a big step forward and backward.
You have fleshed out more of the motives behind the creation of the weapon and taken away details that didn't help and confused the nature of the item. Good work, but I assume you have some personal reason for using a kobold, a race not thought highly of in the art of magic or weapons smithy, to be the creator of this weapon.
In all the changes you've made, you've made a great deal of simple spelling errors. Fix those and you'll get a better rating.
Currently - 3/5
I have to repeat what has been said: Bland. However I'm infatuated with the name 'Candlegouger,' I believe such a name would deserve a slightly more creative weapon attatched to it.
Gods, i love that name for a sword!!
Do not really have anything to add to the current comments. For a first submission it is fairly good, though with the points made by the comments.
This is a good example of a decent idea that isnt horribly overpowered, black metal scimitar (with probably some + numbers) that grants bonuses to stealth, sneak, etc checks, but only if there are shadows to be exploited.
The presentation could stand a revision but that is unlikely considering the status of tge author.
I like the name, back story lacks some story but it is fairly well described and what Scras said.