30+ Dwarven Gifts
The Dwarves are often thought to be a greedy and miserly race, but there are times when they will give rewards to those who have genuinely earned them.
(OOC-I added the names of all those who did submissions but only mine has shown up, for some reason. The others are the following; axlerowes, Echomirage, Ancient Gamer ,Dossta , Pariah.)
1) 100 bottles of beerÂ This is a very well made beer of the dwarves;no matter how drunk you get, there is no hangover when you wake up in the morning. It also lowers the effects of fear the more you drink (whilst still making you drunk if you drink too much of it.)
2) Extra heavy stone pillar A monument with the names of the heroic PCs and their deeds engraved on it so that generations of dwarves may remember what the PCs did for them.
3) Jewel Encrusted Goblin Skull Drinking Mug (w/ relatives that want it back 'Ghdklafdi won't go to goblin heaven if he isn't buried in one piece')
The skull of some luckless Goblin, now plated with gold with rubies set in tnhe eyes;his sizeable family want it back, by force if need be, to bury respectfully with the rest of him and will try and take it from the PCs somehow.
4) Masterwork Sword of Pointiness
Depending on the level of magic in the world your PCs are gaming in, this can bwe anything from your typical +1 sword to a sword of great magical power, or one with no magic but that gives a bigÂ skill/damage bonus in battle.
5-A Glowstick that won't set underground gas alight
Underground, a spark in the wrong place at the wrong time can hit a seam of flammable methane gas and cause an explosion; at best causing injury, at worst blowing up a whole tunnel and killing everybody in it. With a glowstick, made of mori rock, thatv gives off a soft blue glow, the way can be lit without endangering everybody in the area.Many dwarven cites only allow glowsticks as a light source, for safety reasons.Â
Â 6-A pickaxe
With a bonus when smashing into rock due to an enchantment placed upon it by a Dwarven mage, this can break through stone doors within hours and does great damage to Earth Elementials and other such creatures of stone.
7-A golden chain
It is what it is;PCs can use it to impersonate a mayor, tie someone's hands up or just, as most no doubt will, sell it for money as soon as they get a chance.
8-A metal sheild
Not just any sheild but a Notcher , this willÂ in a Â fight wreck the weapons of those who come into combat against it, leaving them useless.Â
Â 9-A drawven tomb for the use of his whole family when they dieÂ
Many dwarves think that a proper burial for the dead in a tomb with grave goods is very important for comfort in the afterlife, and so to give a tomb or tomb space to PCs is seen as a great honor. Some PCs may not see it this way and be upset about a reward that is only of use after their deaths.
10-Something to keep beards cleanÂ
Dwarves being bearded, face their beards getting dirty with food or dust or even infested with lice in the worst situations, this will clean the most filthy of beards.
Almost inedible and therefore useful when everything else edible has been eaten and food is still a long way away.
Â 12 - A pet rock.Â
Â Dwarven pet rocks are actually quite smart, can move, can warm your bed and make people you don't like stub their toes on them. They can be thrown and come back, they can guard you while you sleep and wake you up with something lovingly (and flatteringly) called 'rock music' (disharmonic yelling that could wake the dead!).
13 - A Battlegaard and Choppensmacker brand axe of the finest qualityÂ
. It comes with a service kit, a guarantee, a certificate and an agent of the company will come, perform your last rites and bury the axe with you when you die. Also, it deals 1 point of damage more than any (non-magical) weapon in its class.
14 - A stout woman.Â
Â Dwarven lasses are the most precious treasure any clan has. To be awarded one as wife is the greatest honor the dwarves can bestow. Hildegard has breasts that could wean an army, a behind where you could serve a dinner for four, never tires in bed, will make you Dwarven bread sandwiches when you go off adventuring, and forge you a new suit of armor every time you're gone.
15. Stonebeard Clasps
How do dwarves keep their beards and braids from being chopped off in battle by orc glaives and goblin scimitars? Stonebeard Clasps, that's how.Â These uncommonly given items are prized by dwarves and by extension deemed worthy gifts. The clasps magic is simple and effective. Once clasped around a hanging beard, or hair braid, the clasp infuses the hair with the supposed Â‘strength of stone'.Â Thus bladed weapons glance off harmlessly from the wearer's beard and locks in the heat of battle. Â Â
16 - A humble home
My home, my castle - as the saying goes. With dwarves, it's literal. After all, a dwarf needs a safe home before he can consider getting himself a nice lass and some wee dwarflings. Thus the value of this gift.
The dwarves build you a solid house that could withstand the apocalypse - or half a dozen of them. Complete withÂ siege engines on the rampart and in the tower, of course - what good is a house that can only take punishment, and dish out none?
17 - A delver buddy
Actually a miniature metal golem, the delver buddy is indispensable below the earth. He can watch your back while you dig, crawl where you cannot go, measure time without fail, store your gold nuggets for you and watch out for dangerous gasses and tremors. He also passes you tools upon request, and holds one small flask of brandy, one torch and a piece of deep mole jerky in case of emergencies.
18 - The funny tome
Dwarves value good humor, they just differ from other races in the definition of 'funny'. This pocket-sized booklet holds scores of dwarven jokes, tried and true. For example: 'Why aren't you mining for gold today, Hrangwulf?' 'Ah, I think I already have enough.' is an oldie but goldie.
19 - Boomsticks
Â Dwarves like fire and loud entertainment. Fireworks exactly fit the bill. You get handed a huge box with crackers, rockets and flares sufficient for a lifetime of Silvesters, or blowing up a medium-sized city.
20 - A reliable ride
Â You get a faithful mountain pony. They can subsist on a handful of oats, resist temperatures near absolute zero, can drink more vodka than you, and handle any terrain, whether tunnel, decris or near-vertical slopes. Also, when faced with greenskins, they're of more use than an average human militia.
21 - The Ring of Friendship
Â A subtle steel band with dwarvish writing, the ring bears a subtle enchantment. Any dwarf will know what you did for its creator. Even dwarves born away from their home holds, in the lands of man, will recognize and honor the ring. Â
22 - Pimp my Ride!
Do you have a ship? A wagon? A submarine? A dragon? The dwarves will add cannons, armor, brass adornments and lots of spikes.
23-A mighty Dwarven Estate
Thankful for the PCs help, the dwarves bestow upon them the highest honor they could think of, a mighty estate in their home province. Unfortunately, the underground province was overrun by orcs and their kin some four centuries ago, but as soon as it is back in their hands, the PCs will get their rightful reward! The dwarves ceremonially enter the PC names into a huge, leather and iron bound ledger, gulfing down a goblet of beer when done.
The dwarves will hint nicely that they could use some help reclaiming their province. Â Â
24.Â A well-used drinking horn.Â Â This drinking horn is lined with silver and inscribed with runes proclaiming its lineage and blessing the health of the bearer.Â When filled with water, the horn cleanses it and suffuses it with the taste of a clear, mountain stream.Â When filled with alcohol, the liquor is infused with the constitution of the dwarves, fortifying the imbiber and strengthening their arm.Â This horn has been passed from father to son for generations of dwarves, and receiving it is a deep mark of respect.Â The dwarf considers you to be as good as adopted kin.Â
26 - An evening of culture
You get invited to a dwarven opera, a cultural happening of utmost significance. The thing takes several hours, features lots of busty dwarven women in shining plate and men in heraldry-encrusted armor, an ornate plot and music that is a cross between Wagner's Ring der Nibelungen, Hans Zimmer and power metal.
27 - Pie
Exactly that. A dwarven steynkrust-schmaus pie holds mountain goat cheese, assorted meat from the finest moles and rats, and the most fragrant mushrooms their subterranean realms can offer, all baked in a crispy crust. Â Â
28 - A body of iron! (1)
In three months, the dwarven Iron Man competition takes place, and this old dwarf you aided will run you through his training regime so that you're fit enough to compete. Compete, not win, as no surfacer could ever match the toughness of the dwarfiest dwarves.
29 - A body of iron! (2)
Your PC was grievously injured, but the dwarves can fix him, they've got the technology! Enjoy your new golem arm or enchanted eye; and if they cannot help you, they can still build an armored steam-driven wheelchair with 120mm cannons and a martini dispenser. Â Â
30. A Clan Name:
You and all your heirs shall be listed in the dwarven chronicle from now until ragnarok (2012, we run out of ink...a long time).Â The name shall be a combination of the elements you mastered or endured and the means in which you mastered them.Â For example clan Goldenseal is credited with inventing the gold coin.Â Clan Oxpull relieved the siege of Formidable Pass by taking wagons of supplies over the peak. You shall be known as (____________)
'Drink up my long legged friends, may your daughter's beards be full and your sons bent by their labor.Â For you now enjoy all the right of dwarven nobility.' Â 31 - A job
Â In his enterprise, a dwarven industrialist offers you the same position his very own children started in. Which means at the very bottom. While it may seem meager, one has to consider that young dwarves line up in queues hundreds long whenever he has an open spot. Really, all he does is offer a chance to learn a craft along with the very best.
32 - Ride the thunder
You get a lifetime pass for dwarven ironclad, railroad and steam carriage transport.
33 - Relaxation
Â What is better than an evening at the spa, with sauna, scented candles, warm stones, thermal springs and Gudrun, who can massage so well with those stocky hands of hers? Aaaah, that's the spot!
34 - Excitement!
As honorary guests, you may take part in dwarven sports and win awesome prizes! Of course, dwarven sports are usually full contact, such as 'Carry-the-pigskin-to-the-hole' and 'Battle Royale' where dwarves beat each other senseless with stuffed leather bats. Â
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? Responses (8)
Great list! Fixed the references for you - you have to use the numeric ID, not the text name.
"Pimp my ride" - love it! Very nice list, gents!
Some of these are really very good. Others are quite lack-luster. The Pet Rock and A Funny Tome, especially, appeal to my sense of humor.
"Hey, Hrangwulf, why is the sky blue?"
"I don't know, Dorgin, why?"
"Because it doesn't live underground! Ha! Ha!"
'How are goblins like mushrooms?'
'They grow from poop, smell funny, and a hungry dwarf with a fork can finish a hundred of them!'
love it the weel chair with cannon and martini dispenser is good can it be refit for other liquid for example a healer could put potions in it
Update: Added Dwarf to the freetext
Update: Fixed up some formatting issues.
I'd forgotten about this one! I agree that it's sort of a mixed bag, but for a GM who is strapped for time, there are some good ideas here.