“ 'BB9, bring up the current scout results.'
'I'm sorry, Coach. I can't do that.'
'BB9! Bring up the scout results.'
'These kinds of us, Coach, use serial numbers on our products.'
'BB9, are you malfunctioning?'
'You need to indicate college basketball mentors you are significantly devoted to the adventure!'
The two men in black suits turned to each other. Their faces were white.
'Someone get the president on the line! Tell him that our ICBM handler thinks that its managing a high school basketball team!'”
“ The PCs are exploring the catacombs beneath a Colosseum-in-Rome type of structure, when they come across a foul-smelling, stagnant, ankle-deep with algae, public mass latrine. Countless urinals of marble, line this rather large chamber equally crafted of marble. Whatever system of plumbing once worked here, has not in many years. Old graffiti lines the stained,dirty walls, prominently bolded are such intellectual poetic musings as, 'Urine For It Now', 'I Pee Therefore It Comes' and 'Now Urine Trouble'.
A few moments after the PCs get to take in this unpleasant location, they hear the low rumbling of ancient plumbing and rather large Urine Elemental rises like a great, wet, wave of filth to attack them. The creature reeks and exudes noxious debilitating fumes, while its liquid strikes burn flesh like acid.”
“ A group of Mages sought to create an Elixir of Fertility, to deal with the Curse of the Empty Cradle. After acquiring such things as the 'ahem' vigor of a war deity, and the 'ahem' blessing of a forest goddess, the mages almost created the cure. Instead, the vessel of Divine Virility was spilled, and instead of curing sterility, infused the ancient hill with life. The temple and alter rose, becoming a demonic force of life essence and the fecundity of nature.”
