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Art and Music
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Comments: 11
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.95
Condition: Normal
ID: 3688


October 30, 2007, 6:26 pm

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The Six-Stringed Laser Axe of Thorin Stardust, the Most Metal Space Dwarf in History.

Full Item Description
Novascream is a musical instrument, patterned roughly after the Fender Stratocaster guitar of ancient legend. Carefully aligned and tuned laser-strings play perfect notes both through the light speakers installed on the guitar itself, and transmits them to the nearby (or not so nearby…) speaker stacks. Several more carefully aligned transmitters on the side of the ‘axe’ make it into a literal laser axe, the heavy alloy instrument doubling as a massively impressive implement of destruction.

Long ago, one Thorin Stardust, a Salvorathan with a musical bent and an axe to grind, sought out Kir Ironspirit and told him, "Dude. I need some stuff from you. I like, need a way better axe, and I need something to, like, kill the over-enthusiastic xenomorph fans we’ve got… I mean, I dun wanna be eaten by a groupie any more than the next guy."

It was with a great chuckle that Kir reached out and gripped the space-dwarf around the shoulders, waving his hand up into the sky with a twisted smile. "I have just the idea for you. Let’s go talk what you’ll do for me…"

And so, it was created, and delivered. It was promptly put into use at the Concert of the Battle of Squithiois VIII, where the legends began…

Magic/Cursed Properties
It’s an axe that plays music. It’s an axe that chops off people’s heads. Somehow, some twisted feat of engineering has produced this, and it very, very rarely needs retuning.   Doom comes, and it comes with a power chord. Now, are. You.  Ready. To. ROCK?!?

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Comments ( 11 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Murometz
February 24, 2007, 0:55

Concert of the Battle of Squithiois VIII

thats rich!
Voted valadaar
February 24, 2007, 5:35
"You should have seen us when we played on Venus!"
There was a thread for music inspired submissions somewhere :)

Heh, good job!
Voted Scrasamax
February 24, 2007, 8:19
makes me think of Disaster Area from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Voted Dozus
February 24, 2007, 8:52
Dwarves are so metal. \""/
Siren no Orakio
February 24, 2007, 10:51
*strums a powerchord*

Anyway, folks, just FYI: There's a character this goes with coming out of a scroll that's currently in progress. You /may/ want to suspend judgement until then, I was just writhing in the grip of my demon-muse last night, and couldn't wait to get this out.
Voted Cheka Man
February 24, 2007, 14:01
lol, I like this. Not good for ambushing with.
Voted MoonHunter
February 24, 2007, 20:46
It is enough to make one snort soda out of their nose laughing so hard.
Voted Fallen Angel
August 27, 2009, 1:33
Only voted
Voted Phaidros
September 18, 2011, 16:22
I am normally not a fan of metal, but I would like to see this group play. Move over Ozzie!
Voted hylandpad
September 18, 2011, 17:16

::incomprehensible british-drug-induced-babble::...massivelyawesomeguitar...::continued incomprehensible babble::...is righteous."

Seriously though. Short, sweet, very humerous and exceedingly witty.

Voted Strolen
September 23, 2012, 2:37
I simply read it with my mouth hanging open. Demon-muse just about sums it up!


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Ringworld-based game , anyone

       By: Kawaresksenjajok

hey im new to this site but was here years ago w/ another name. anyways dont remember so im newbie by default.
Firstly, I am a sci-fi reader and I hope to meet success with my writing.
My favorite series of books are Larry Nivens RINGWORLD tetralogy (Ringworld, RingWorld Engineers, The RingWorld Throne, and RingWorlds Children)
For those that havnt read the ring world is the greatest artificial structere ever discovered.
A ring, its circumference equal to earths orbit, it is built around a sol-like star. Shadow squares halfway betwwn the ring and the sun provide 15 hours of night in a thirty hour day. 70 days equals one falan (one full rotation of ring world. The inner surface-the one exposed to the sun, is terraformed and is one millionkmwide cntrifugal force provides gravity, and rim walls 1000km high keep the atmosphere in. Population of RNH(ringworld native hominids)
estimated in the trillions.
The origins of who built it and why are too sticky to get into. But the ringworld , millions of years ago, was populated bt A race called Pak Protectors. Protectors are ancestors of all homo sapiens. they populated ringworld with homo erectus, but left no predators in the ecology. hence, hominids evolved into every ecological niche. (Vampires, Carrion Eaters, Giant Herbivores, Small Carnivores, some built great technologies and went interstellar. Oh, and ringworld is 300 million times the surface area of earth. post if youre interested, Ill elabortae on native species and alien vistors

Ideas  ( Society/ Organization ) | July 23, 2007 | View | UpVote 1xp

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