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Hits: 1754
Comments: 10
Ideas: 0
Rating: 3.4
Condition: Normal
ID: 7673


January 16, 2014, 11:00 am

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Standard Issue Escape Goat


When your in trouble and need a quick escape, S.I.E.G. IT !!

The Standard Issue Escape Goat, or S.I.E.G., is a nice addition to any adventurers supply list. Easily deployed, light weight, available in a variety of colors and designs, ( for the fashionable adventurer) the S.I.E.G. helps adventurers of any caliper deal with even the deadliest of creatures!

Group of ravenous goblins got you cornered? .S.I.E.G IT!

Angry Troll chief trying to make YOU the secret ingredient in his Troll Sausage Surprise?? S.I.E.G. IT!!

Blood thirsty Horde of Orcs looking at YOU for sustenance, and possibly as a trophy for their war banner? S.I.E.G. IT!!!!

Insatiable zombies shambling at you with hungry eyes? First, get a cleric, second, S.I.E.G. IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buy now and we'll through in this

Standard Issue Escape Goat, Mini , FOR FREE!!!!!!!

( Not responsible for feelings of guilt or self inflicted injury involving S.I.E.G. or S.I.E.G. accessories from miss use of S.I.E.G. units. Please read the S.I.E.G. manual!)

WARNING: Not 100% reliable if stored inappropriately, miss handled before deployment, or deployed against creators of demon or dragon origin.

~A Mad Gnome Product, a subsidiary of Dal-lum Gearstrain Engineering Corp.

In Your Game

This was a Joke that was played upon in an evil game that I once played in where a PC tried to come up with a "standard Issue" EVERYTHING ( SI: Cat, SI:Bird, SI: Octopus, Etc.) The point was to offer players a Magic token that could summon the creature for one quick use. What that use happened to be was up to the PC that used it.

This also played off a 1st edition Ad&d joke about a wizard having a Disable Trap Spell. The ingredients needed for this spell were 1 standard Fighter or Barbarian, 1 really good Lie, and then the wizard just pointed to the area and the spell was cast. The materials of this spell might be used up in the casting of the spell. ( Joke: the PC who went forward might die)

Examples of Use:

* PC's come across a hall way they think is trapped. No body can find traps so instead of putting themselves at risk, send in the S.I.E.G. to walk the hall way. If a Trap triggers, Goat is gone, and now its safe. ( well maybe)

* PC's Find them selves getting overwhelmed by a fight, deploy A S.I.E.G. to fight one monster, or act as a shield for another. Goat will fight till death, or take damage for one while they heal quick.

*PC's need a quick distraction as a group of ruffians close in at a local tavern. No room to start a bar fight, Deploy a S.I.E.G. to distract the ruffians while you get the upper hand.

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Comments ( 10 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Gossamer
January 16, 2014, 9:21
Ok, like I said in cbox, short. Very short. You could probably have passed it as an idea. But that being said, it is a simple but nice idea, though a bit on the cruel side maybe. Poor goats.

You seem to be targetting fantasy, yet it reads like a modern day Commercial. I get that it's supposed to be Gnomish, but it's hardly an invention after all, it's just a goat? Unless it's some kind of summon fake goat spell or an inflatable goat or something. More details!

I dunno if you have unlocked freetext yet, but you should probably slap on a 'Silly' freetext on this when you can.

I'll give you an extra .5 just for the idea alone and because you caught me on a good day, but it is on the short side.
January 16, 2014, 10:04
I'm not sure what to do with this, LoL
January 16, 2014, 10:37
It's ment to be silly, its something that was "invented" in an Evil game we were playing. It's a running joke in my group of gamer's, if the creature is too strong, and every one else has fallen down, deploy A S.I.E.G. and Get the F*** Out of there.

I promise, i will add to this!
January 16, 2014, 11:39
Maybe if it was a bat-winged, carnivorous goat, i could see it.

January 16, 2014, 13:11
Standard Issue Escape Goat, Demonic edition
Voted Strolen
January 16, 2014, 11:45
Hmmm. I loved it and laughed all the way through.

I took it tongue in cheek and accepted it for what it was and I left fully satisfied.

SIEG tastes good too!
Voted Cheka Man
January 16, 2014, 12:01
Only voted
Voted Longspeak
January 16, 2014, 14:26
Cute bit of silliness. There should be a fifth word, beginning with the letter E, so the acronym can be SIEGE. Maybe a highly specialized version which permits the user to win free of a besieged location. The Standard Issue Escape Goat.... okay, I got nothing. I just want to see it become "SIEGE." :P
January 16, 2014, 14:46
You need to create the SIEG Extended edition!
Voted valadaar
July 14, 2014, 9:46
We need a shot of strangeness from time to time. This certainly delivers :)

Link Backs


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