(Name translates directly from ancient Egyptian as: Strong Protector, the Hidden One.) A mysterious shaman appearing without regard to wheres and whens, upon the divine bidding of other Realms. An entity of legend, belonging to a legendary and ancient sect.
Kanika-(Egyptian litterally translates as 'Black')An onyx,hooded cloak... Emblem-Garment of the Ket-'Shwt-Akh'(Egyptian:Shadow Spirit).
Sefu-Kazemde-(Egyptian: Ambassador Sword)A Scythe, elaborate, mystical, and other-worldly.
Chisisi-Usi-(Egyptian: Secret Smoke)A variety of potions and herbs from other Realms. Used to induce Shamannic trance, and inter-plane travel.
The Ket Shaman's figure hidden under the shroud of his ominous cloak is even more rarely seen then his presence... but, an ageless face completely tatooed in hieroglyphics representing mystic spells is revealed on dire occasions. The tatooed symbols, in fact, cover his entire body. Hair, long and braided tight back in an alternating pattern of lightning-sharp frosty white and deep obsidian cascade across the back of his shoulders.
The Shaman's height is complemented non only by the marvel of his long, magnificent Scythe, but also by the manner in which he seems to float in graceful stride.
Overall, the majestic reverence displayed would be dazzling... if not for the daunting terror one feels when gazing upon this enigmatic wonder.
Sitting alone in the only tavern of another quaint town, a cloaked stranger is unmoving behind a pint of untouched ale. Occasional glances from the eyes of bar-patrons deem this quiet foreiner to be in a meditative trance... but although his hood prevents even the slightest glimpse of this face, staring in the direction of his mysterious figure is almost ghastly, and therefor not prolonged. The hourglass has been turned too often to recall, but still no motion has he made. Surrounding merryment continues.
At random instant, the profound character arises! Ignoring the commune of drunks and wenches, he forges forth through the parting crowd toward a vacant corner near a staircase. Charismatically producing a sycthe unlike any other from his cloak in an impossible way... the wonderous shaft of this uncanny relic 'could not have been concealed without the use of magic.'-the collective gasp of the crowd implies.
The hood is thrown back, and the shaman's head is unveiled. Heiroglyphic symbols arraying his face almost seem to glow, but without illuminataion. A magnetic pull of energy and power is being gravitated into him. The sycthe is now being gracefully spun about his body so dexterous and masterfully nimble that only a silvery orb can be seen encompassing him.
A portal is opening before the Shaman's stance...
The sycthe is pulled back, as an axe would be prior to confronting a tree. The surrounding orb of glistening trails dissolves, the Shaman poised full-tilt... and,
Out of the portal lurches the head of a giant beast snarling, and bloodthirsty! Its enormous body can be seen behind the rippling tear between realms, advancing with fervor that only the nightmarish creatures in the depths of damned worlds bear motive to launch. Teeth are in mid-gnash as a peircing noise squeals from the monstrosity, then a 'thud,' followed by deafening silence.
The Shaman allows drops of fiery-blood to smolder then drip off the tip of his instrument of death (its swing too fast for human eyes to follow); as his eyes lock onto the severed head of the terror he had been waiting for, now motionless... laying on a dusty tavern floor at the feet of one of the ones who call themselves the 'Ket.'
The Sycthe is slowly arced back, held in his left hand to point towards the crowd of speechless townsfolk; as if to keep them silent and afar. As he kneels, two fingers of his right hand first point directly up, as a spell in an unhuman tongue is offered. Those two fingers then come down upon the giant head of a monster who, only a moment ago had been so full of fury, that all in its unholy path would surely be no more.
Proceeding the touch our mysterious mage had laid, the head melted into sand... then to nothingness. His hood now redraped to cover eyes that have seen more unbelievable encounters surpassing the imagination even of the demons... He strolls out. Now the weapon shown to yeild such friegtening power, used merely as a walking stick. The Shaman of the Ket, endorses this small tavern, in this quaint town, with his absence.
The origin and history of the Shamanic Ket is a ledgend deeply intertwined in the factual history of ancient Egypt. Originally standing as the secret cabinet of Pharaohs in the first and second dynasties, the Ket (then known as 'Chisisi-Talibah'-egyptian:Seekers of Secret Knowlege) traveled between planes as ambassodors and explorers of infinite expanse. The high council and upper-echelon priesthood including the 14 Ket Shamans were divided into 3 separate groups: (1)the 5 'Ini-Herit'(egyptian:He who brings back the Distant One) would travel throughout Realms constantly on missions of embassy, and capture. (2)the 5 'Khu-Asim' (egyptian:Protectors) held the responsablility of protection of the 'home realm,' and were mighty assassins used to hunt other-world enemies who were seen as a danger. And finally, (3) the 4 elite 'Darwishi' (egyptian:Saints)who surrounded the Pharaoh sensed Realm-disruptions, explored the Universe on great journeys('Kets'), and meditated ruling orders over the land.
It is rumored that the Ket, were in-fact inter-stellar travelers whom originally set up human civilization.
During the reign of Pharaoh Sanakhte, in the begining of the 3rd Dynasty, legend states that the Shamans pulled the Pyramids out of the Sahara sand-(A great myth with its own spectacular story) to act as power-centers during an intense war, waged with an army of another dimension. This struggle turned to be the end of the established dominance enjoyed by the Ket...
A race of ingenious and sorcerous 'Taheen,' (massive human-like beings, sometimes bearing the heads or features of animals) hailing from a parallel called 'Horus' took upon an unstillable hatred for the Ket. The 'Chisisi-Talibah (Ket),' Shamans, blinded by self-righteous idealism, first attempted to steal the Book of Thoth (containing the two most powerful spells in existence); then had tricked the beings of Horus, and captured their king, Osiris, in a plot to reign as the lone conductors of vast inter-plane travel. The kidnapping somehow had gotten out of hand, and disrule among delegated ranks led to the event of the Horus King's death. To prevent the escalation of a snowball effect, due to the wizardry of the Taheen using re-animation, Osiris's body was minced into pieces and seperated by the Ket Shamans. This final act, meant to be unknownst to the Taheen, led to a vengeful uniting of the major Horus civilizations: Ra, Isis, and Thoth.
The Taheen alliance, chanting the warcry 'Kalid-He-Seth.' ('Death to the Seth'. Seth being the name given to the Ket.)
The new alliance attacked with vigor and earth-shattering force through the gate leading into the Ket inhabited world, left powerless by the unjoined Shamen(busy keeping pieces of Osiris seperated), and siezed the Pharaoh's throne and kingdom.
Even after reorganization, the Shaman circle could not breach the opposing power... and experienced tremendous loss. The Horus command had installed a new Pharaoh- Netjenkhet Djoser- and reorganized the indigenous human culture to worship the Taheen. Proceeding an epic battle, combatted by the remaining Shamans and their loyalist compatriots; against a formidable Taheen occupation backed by the Pharaoh's massive army (which the Ket once protected and led)... the last tears in the shamanic collective were torn, and a demoralized few disbanded into the desert.
It was decided to abandon the badge: 'Chisisi-Talibah,' and the current title 'Ket' was invented by the remnants as to thwart Taheen intelligence of the survivors. The elaborate iconnic priestwear was also left behind in advance to concealing black cloaks. The tribal band of Ket mages tatooed their library of spells onto their bodies
in efficiency to the nomadic custom they were now to embrace; and fearful displays of magic power had been chosen to lie dormant, replaced by intricate Sycthes for necessity and filling contentment for material possesion.
The few that may or may not remain in our when, are but lone hermits or wanderers that only meet with eachother in separate universes. Socialization with surrounding entities has become nearly impossible with the Shaman's progressing insanity and dissociation. Addiction to the potions used to visit the spirit-world is the reported summary of uncommon witness, and personal vendettas between the Ket and demons confronted in separate Realms encompass the motivation of what little sane thought is left. Even with this being so... an encounter could stand as the most incredible occurance in an individuals life.
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? Responses (12)
This is not bad, but he seems too powerful for me. You need to add some of his flaws, having a character that good risks a player becoming unbeatable and thus soon boring.
I do like your description of his physical attributes, especially his hair. However someone once told me that the soul is seen through the eyes alone, and you said nothing of them. Also you said he had an ageless face, you still might give some idea as to how old he is not necessarily an exact number, but some sense of his age. After all wisdom in some cultures is equated with age.
I noticed that you said you planned on adding more information tomorrow so I will wait until then to vote. I assume that you will go in to this character emotionally as well. So I can't wait to read it! Remember that these are mere suggestions, take them as you will. I mean them only as constructive criticism.
Wonderful description and personal action, and I would agree with Adel that he is too powerful as presented, but with a little detailing, he could be truely great. Perhaps his appearance of power belies the less tangible flaws, perhaps ailments of the soul, or the spirit.
I'll also hold my vote a day.
Truly mesmerizing. I think I have to give this a 4/5.
thank you Maggot, And I apreciate the comments of Adel and Scrasamax, thank you. And, Adel, I have chosen not to describe this characters eyes, because you are correct in that 'the soul is seen through the eyes alone' (for ficticous characters, at least); and the soul of Khu-Nakht Amen... I desire to be a mystery.
Well, yes, all of the above is true.
But I just... can't... like it.
4/5, but there's something about it that irritates me.
Nothing of the character of the shamanis described, except... him being a show-off. What sets him apart from all those characters in anime who just pose and unleash mighty powers? Well? Nada.
He does not have a motivation and no purpose. A game world can do without him. 2/5
I don't remember seeing this one the first time around. It is quite a worthy post. Sure it is missing a few things, but they can easily be filled in. The idea behind the character is quite worthy. The write up gets paws up too.
Some truly evocative ideas are presented within, buried within the text. Some revision and editing would make its virtue more apparent.
Interesting and could benefit from some rework.
At first I wondered whether there were only video gamers and manga enthusiasts that had responded to this post, but as I arrivede at the other half of the text the sub got drastically better.
As for now:
The first half is a typical Mary Sue section.
The second half is a decent and thrilling write down of this rather overpowered shamanic sect. In between the lines of this body of text I sense an exciting setting.
I have to agree with EchoMirage. He has no purpose or motivation in the game world. He is a very powerful character that does what he does and then leaves, brushing the PCs off like ants. There is nothing in it for the players to interact with, which is a fatal flaw to me.
Also, the writing is not very good. It isn't the flawed writing of a non-English speaker, that I can accept. This is an English speaker that is stringing adjectives and adverbs together to try to make his writing 'grander' (how do you 'charismatically' pull a scythe from under your cloak? or 'endorses(?) this small tavern, in this quaint (what makes it quaint?) town, with his absence.') Sorry, it grated on my nerves as I read it.
It does have some good ideas, but they are so buried that the GM would have to rewrite it from scratch. 2/5
I missed this the first time around, thanks for the bump Ramhir. As for the submission itself I will have to second AGs comment. This is not a bad attempt at all.