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Ranged Weapons
12 Votes


Hits: 9076
Comments: 20
Ideas: 0
Rating: 2.2083
Condition: Normal
ID: 266


January 19, 2007, 3:24 pm

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Whiffle Accelerator


An over sized blowgun with a matching specialized bag of holding. This blowgun is halfling made and it should be noted that “whiffle” is the halfling word for gerbil.

An item like this one was originally posted by someone else in the early days of prodigy.

The Whiffle Accelerator is an oversized blowgun, the same length as a normal blowgun, but the bore or inside diameter is rather large, being about 2 inches across. Normal blowgun darts cannot be fired from the whiffle accelerator, but specially made darts can be crafted for use in the whiffle accelerator, but they will only have half the range of normal darts. The ammo intended for the whiffle accelerator is kept in the specialized bag of holding.

The ammo bag has it’s own eco-system inside of it that is capable of providing shelter and food in abundance for up to 10 gerbils. Inside of the bag the gerbils do not age and also cannot reproduce.

The Whiffle Accelerator can accomodate one gerbil at a time. Once the Whiffle Accelerator is aimed, it can be fired much like a normal blowgun, simply by blowing in the end. The magic of the Whiffle Accelerator sends the gerbil hurtling towards the target, which usually gets splattered by a gerbil. The true power of the Whiffle Accelerator comes into effect when the target is a demon or undead.

Magical Properties:

When the target is a demon or undead, the Whiffle Accelerator imbues the gerbil with righteous power to smite the creature. As the gerbil approaches the creature, it transforms into “Jaws of Righteous Vengance”, stretching it’s mouth to 2 feet across, lined with adimantium teeth. The Jaws deal 2d12 damage for 1d4 rounds and ignore non-magical armour. Magical armour uses it’s pulses for the level of armour protection provided. After the Jaws deal their damage, the gerbil reverts to normal and tries to make it back to the ammo bag.

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Comments ( 20 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

January 30, 2003, 2:31
Talk about smoking something ;-)

I don't want to even mention what kind of picture gerbiles and the term whiffle conjures up.
Ria Hawk
April 5, 2003, 1:49
I told some friends about this item. They didn't believe me.
April 5, 2003, 7:14
Who in their right mind would. LOL
April 5, 2003, 20:11
Ria Hawk
April 5, 2003, 22:23
LIAR! That is the holy relic of the Church of St. Fred, the Grand and Magnificent Invisible Gerbil! (This is, of course, only going to get sillier.)
August 22, 2003, 4:26
I don't realy believe that any Paladin in his right mind would want to fire nice little furry creatures like Gerbils, not even at a demon.

In general I do not approve of items that use animals as ammo or items that "hurt" animals in their... whatever.

yes I do get the intended pun, but still....
Dragon Lord
February 18, 2005, 10:29
Agar, what in all the infinite mutli-verses are you on? And more to the point, where can I get some?

What - shooting gerbils at undead - I'm gonna give this a 3 just on silly value
February 18, 2005, 10:31
Okay... this item just needs to go away.
February 21, 2005, 12:29
I think this was a spark of intelligence. I had this intelligence when I first had got a gerbil too.
March 27, 2005, 15:37
Interesting, sick, but interesting. I think that minus the gerbils and adding some more interesting history, it could be a go weapon.
Barbarian Horde
November 12, 2005, 23:46
Hmmm... modify it so that it can fire Conbustible Shrews and I'll place an order for 50 :-D
Voted Zylithan
November 13, 2005, 7:31
Now all of my demon-fighting halflings will have a much more effective weapon. Wait.
Voted Mourngrymn
May 9, 2006, 12:46
I only voted on this because, albeit from being a bad post, it is rather unique... if not um bad taste.
October 25, 2007, 15:40
Okay, this needs added to the Silly Items codex.
It is, to defend Agar, reported as a repost, so Agar's imagination is not at fault.
Wow, this is tripping man.
Barbarian Horde
August 26, 2008, 21:40
He LOST xp for posting this?!
August 27, 2008, 8:45
You are right - that does seem a little unfair. I laughed again when I saw it, so I'm upgrading my vote.
Voted valadaar
August 27, 2008, 8:46
For the laugh factor this morning :)
Voted Nafar
June 1, 2010, 13:14
Only voted
Voted axlerowes
October 9, 2012, 20:48
I really don't see what all the hate is about. It is not boring, it has a certain Toon feel to it.

Thanks for posting this, it ain't hurting anybody.
Voted Murometz
January 16, 2015, 15:13
Only voted


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