Full Description
The Oojah Spider, a denizen of the Astral/celestial plane is accorded to be one of the largest spiders ever to cross the face of existence. A bulbous creature as sickeningly frightening as it's tiny and vile cousins, the Oojah Spider is much, much larger. The mass of it's spoiled milk white abdomen is the same as an adult elephant, and each of it's eight legs is as thick as an oak tree at the base. Resembling a web building spider, the Oojah has an impressive reach of 40 feet. The celestial spider has 8 gleaming blue eyes and can see into all spectrums of light and cannot be fooled except by the most powerful of invisibility spells.
The Celestial Web
The web spun by this gargantuan spider is on a scale equivalent to the spider itself. Living beyond the normal boundaries of creation where things are much more spread out and further apart, the spider requires a very large web. This web can stretch as far as three miles across the astral plane, though it's web is most commonly just a bit over a mile in width. Given the native chaos of the plane, finding such a structure of pattern and symmetry is a cause of alarm for most travelers, as it is with anything familiar with spiders. Since spiders are not native to the astral plane, most denizens of the plane are very unfamiliar with the nature of the beast and are thus easy prey.
The main support cables of the web are strands of silk as thick as a man's thigh. These are not sticky, and can be traversed with a successful balance check. If harvested, this silk makes for very strong and light ropes strong enough to more all but the very largest of ships. The thinner adhesive strands are generally as thick as a finger and are very sticky. Alcohol can dissolve this natural glue, as can fire, which carries it's own risk.
Seismic Sensitivity
The Oojah Spider is very sensitive to things touching it's web. Even though it is a massive beast, something as small as a mouse running along a support strand can garner it's attention. Such prey is beneath it's notice, while a band of vile or foolish adventurers-upon-return is not. Attempting to harvest the silk will be as obvious to the spider as someone screaming in a quiet room.
The Shard of Divinity
The Oojah Spider, despite it's predatory aspect and it's terror inducing spider shape is a celestial being, a proto-god or minor godling. How it gained this power is unknown, and those who seek to deep into the history of the spider have a habit of winding up catatonic or dead. It has a voracious appetite, and it's web is always found in areas where demons and other infernal minions cross through the astral plane. Combining it's natural poison with it's holy aura, few demons survive being snared and envenomed.
To Seek the Oojah Spider
Why would someone in their right mind seek out a predatory mammoth spider that snacks on demons? There are a variety of reasons that someone could seek out the Oojah Spider. The primary reason is that the spider is both poisonous and holy, meaning that it has the ability to remove or negate any poison or toxin, natural or artificial. While this is a very expensive and dangerous mission for someone with the Goblin Flu, a hero suffering from mummy rot or a poison that causes eggs to germinate in their liver is a different matter.
Alchemists and wizards could also seek out the spider as it's web has snared more than just imps and succubi, it has also gathered secrets long since forgotten and hoary lore. Given it's gift with toxins and venom, alchemy is an innate ability of the spider. Given enough time and the proper ingredients (to eat) the spider can synthesize practically any potion, tonic, or elixir the PCs come across. While there is a chance that a band of PCs might think to catch the spider and make it into a cow to mild Cure Serious Wounds potions from, the spider will heartily disagree. If it is threatened by a force that it cannot overcome, which might not be as hard as one suspects, the spider can call for aid. This assistance comes in the form of other celestial creatures, most often celestial spiders the size of large dogs. If the spider is generous, the offenders are left stunned by venom and lightly wrapped so that they can break free once the venom wears off. If not, they might find themselves awakening burning with fever and feeling oddly numb. The spider will wait until the victim is almost completely dead from being dissolved from the enzymes injected with the venom before dealing with the offender.
The offer is the last reason that someone might deal with the Oojah spider, it has the ability to resurrect the dead, especially those slain by poison or spiderbite. Unless evil in the truest sense, the Oojah Spider will resurrect offending PCs after letting them feel the sensation of being drunk by a spider. Otherwise a corpse, no more than a week old can be brought to the Oojah spider and the celestial beast can be petitioned to bring the deceased back to life. Most often, the spider will comply, giving the PCs a quest to fulfill while their comrade is resurrected, wrapped for safekeeping in a spidersilk coccoon.
The Spider is my Friend
Those who befriend the spider can gain a useful ally in the Oojah Spider. While it is not a mighty celestial being on the level of the Pantheonic gods, it can share some it it's power with those who offer the proper respect to the spider. The most common gift is Protection from Spiders, a gift that causes spiders to leave the protected alone, of course unless they aggressively provoke a spider to attack them. Some other gifts include being able to summon small swarms of spiders, bonuses to climbing and setting snares and traps using rope. The Oojah spider expects those who gain it's gifts to be respectful of mundane spiders, and to offer a gift of food when a shrine makes itself visible.
Oojah Shrines
An Oojah Shrine appears at random locations at random times. The Celestial spider lacks the power and clout to have true worship, the other divinities will not allow it. but they cannot stop the spider from literally extending a limb into the physical realm, weaving a shrine from silk and celestial magic. This shrine will appear as a web spun of silver and it is very visible, especially to those who have gained the spider's gifts. There will be a golden spider sitting in the middle of the web that will accept an offering from the PC in question. Live prey, wounded or otherwise is preferred, but any meat will do in a pinch. The Celestial Spider rewards those who give it evil halflings or evil dwarves with the ability to deliver a poisonous bite.
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? Responses (8)

How...interesting. i find this to be an interesting submission. It offers that small bit of, "Woah, that's nifty" to a campaign/adventure. Cooooooool.

How does one communicate with it?

A great critter!

Really, how can you communicate with it - does it speak, or are there other means?
Am not much into plane-stuff, but this one is pretty interesting, and a worthy potential ally. You could easily imagine a spirit version of him.

To answer questions:
Communication: Talking works well, though I would emphasis the alien nature of the Oojah spider by speaking broken syntax and using large words. As for planar stuff, it is a spirit creature.

All hail the Celestial Spider! I have a soft spot for gargantuan twists on mundane creatures, hence I like this. He's almost like that Tolkien spider on steroids mixed with a generous smattering of fractured fairy tale and old-skool Astral monstrosity, possessing wisdom of bygone ages.
the sensation of being drunk by a spider eek!

Reminds me strongly of the Weaver from China Mieville's New Crobuzon novels. Very good!

I like this, despite being a 'good' 'spider you still shouldn't mess with it.