Talking Eyeballs of Petrification
A rather odd item that just a little bit morbid
Full Item Description
A wide variety of seemingly fresh eyeballs that are always looking around, or trying to talk to the holder of the leather bag that holds them.
Alternate name given by unknown adventurer: Talking Eyeballs of getting Stoned
History
Made about twenty years ago when he was starved for conversation the mage Anima di Nerezza crafted this item from the disembodied eyes that were laying around his workshop from his punishment of intruders. However after awhile a bagful or two got out into the world which is how he has gotten much of his infamy.
Magic/Cursed Properties
Eyes are enchanted so that when they hit someone that person will become petrified, unless they are otherwise immune to such things. Also included in the enchantment is a spell that keeps the eyes fresh and juicy which was an addition to the original spell after the eyes started to complain.
These two enchantments were fine by themselves however the mage who created them decided to add one more thing. The eyes speak using a telepathic link to anyone who holds them. They share a group mind and only one eye ever talks at one time, the eyes don't seem to have any objective or goal they just chat away.
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? Responses (8)

How grumpy are the eyes?

Delightfully and comically bizarre item, very puny.

A nice spoof of the classic Eyes of Petfrification. I was about to ask about the "Why?" of the petrification, but I can assume it's because it's a spoof. I am amused.

quirky and endearing item! Can't help but smile, especially at the chattering away part and their name.
I think it makes for a memorable addition to a game. I can picture a thief, crouched down low, at the back of a dead-end alley, slowly opening the pouch, having just stolen it minutes ago, and many streets away. His eyes sparkle with greed, anxious to see what "treasure" he has acquired. As he opens the strings of the pouch and peers inside, his grin gives way to a sudden look of dismay and revulsion.
Nice one!

Both gruesome and comical. I guess that fact that Anima has to rely on them for his sole source of conversation, speaks volumes about his lack of a proper social life. I want to know why they have been enchanted to petrify the people they bump into. Are they intended as guardians who protect the mage's stuff from would-be thieves?

By hit, I assume these are thrown weapons. In any case, this is a neat item and could easily lead to many amusing moments.

I will go ahead and answer some questions that came up in the comments.
Cheka are the eyes grumpy, not generally but if they have been thrown a lot are given to complaint.
Maggot no they were not really made for his defence except maybe as a last resort, so why did he make them of petrification only he knows for sure.
Valadaar yes they are thrown or dropped weapons though they have a tendency to complain about it.

Very amusing!