Full item description
The rod of age switching is about two feet long and weighs about four ponds. Its head is carved to appear as an hourglass and intricate numerical designs run up and down the shaft. At the other end a strip of hide is wrapped around the shaft to form a grip.
History
Grelden, oldest mage-teacher at Pointed Hat wizards' school, was dying. He was so old that he could barely rise from his bed each day to teach the art of enchanting to his pupils. The only way that he could function in most things was the use of spells (mostly simple ones to do things such as carry his bag or fetch things). He reached the point where he just assumed that he would not wake up the next day.
After three more years he had an idea; if he was to live on, no matter how long, why should he suffer when he could have a young body again. So, he made his salvation, this rod. The next day in class was its first test. He got a volunteer up to stand next to him to demonstrate a 'test enchantment' that he had made. Great was the student's dismay when his body began to age. Years and years passed by in mere seconds. When it was done, Grelden stood, his body renewed. Naturally, the college dean was forced to discharge Gredeln (after privately congratulating him on his fine creation).
For years Grelden lived in small towns and outlying farming villages. The solitude was pleasant and helpful in his studies. After awhile, thirty years or so, Grelden would pull the rod out of its protective case and ask for one of the village's young men to come and visit him. Then he would quickly move himself far away. Unfortunately, when Grelden enchanted the rod he cut a few corners in the casting of the spell. Instead of making him the exact age in body and mind as the subject of the rod, it only made his body that much younger, his mind merely gained back a few years.
Because of his strong, young body, Grelden's aged mind was able to cope for much longer than normal, but when he had been living for one hundred and twenty-four years, it failed. He was found by his neighbors the next morning, on the floor, dead. After a quiet funeral, Grelden's possessions were auctioned off, including the rod. It was bought by a farmer who now has it beside his fireplace as an ornate poker.
Magic and Cursed Properties
When the word 'Frederick', the name of Grelden's favorite goldfish, is spoken while holding the rod, it will switch the speaker's age with the first living thing in a direct line out from its tip up, to fifty feet away. The user will change in appearance to suit someone of their age as appropriate to their race. If they age to much (such as if a human uses the rod on a two-hundred year old elf) they will wither away and die. Unfortunately, the user's mind will only change one fiftieth of the amount the body changes (a sixty year old man turning into a ten year old boy would have a fifty year old mind).
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? Responses (27)
Updated: edited to fix bold
This Rod has SOOO much potential. Any chance you could further flesh it out? some more history, a little more detail, that sort of thing :)
welcome!
Sure I just forgot some stuff.
Updated: I was asked to fill in some more detail and so forth. If anyone wants some more of that kind of stuff then just post.
I won't vote on this until it has a proper backstory. It could be a 5/5, Hall of Honour item with a proper story behind it.
Updated: More Background
Still no good. If I voted I'd have to give it a 1.5.
*twitch, twitch*
All right, my two cents. For what they're worth.
Oh and read this too: Moonhunter's Tips
An old mage was dying and he knew it so he made his salvation, this rod. Every time he got to old, or to sick, he could simply point the rod at a younger man(or woman) and become that young once more.
Okay, I'd like to see more than just a name, even Glibberyworts would do for me. Also, how did he know he was dying, was it just he was old, or did he see the future? You don't need to include the pointing at people part here, move that down into Magical Properties.
But then came the curse, and the rod was lost in the dark forest.
I know that the curse is mentioned later, but when I first read this I thought that the curse was that the item enjoyed getting lost. Mention that a strange malady came over him, and that he was no longer able to recover from it with the staff's powers like he was before. He still got younger but continued wasting away... Or something like that.
Then one day a goblin cheiftan found it in a wishing well. It was handed down through generations of the creatures until, finally, it fell back into the hands of a human (because of a war).
Kay, so the goblin chieften Wortyfoot the Third found the item in a puddle that his tribe held to be holy/wishgranting, fine I can live with that. What did they think of it? was it kept amoung the cheiftens of the tribe? did the tribe grow stronger and take over the surronding areas because of the strength of their Elder Chief? was this last one the reason why the war happened? did some arch-duke somewhere not like the little goblin tribe growing too powerful so close to his land, so he hired some bloodthirsty adventurers to kill them all? did the person who got the sword realize it's power and start a war of his own, conquering as much land as he could and setting himself up as the Eternal Emperor?
When pointed at someone it switches the age of both people, thus an old wizened warlock could, by simply pointing, switch ages with a twenty-something fighter.
Okay, this is really straight forward, but one thing to clear up. Do you have to be able to use 'magic' to use this item or can any mo pick it up off the street say the magic word and switch age with someone?
But there is a price when the one with the rod changes ages to many times then they contract a very deadly, and irreversible disease that very slowly eats away at his constitution, by about three points every day wich includes boosts from magical items.
So they catch a bad wasting disease, but you're 'slowly' obviously implies that the victim gets somewhere in the 20+ range. While I might not have played many different systems, wouldn't that leave most people dead within a week, and on some systems I've played that leave a battle-hardened barbarian nicknamed Sherman dead in 3 days? That isn't that slow. But that's just technicalities. ;)
Sorry i'll fix it O.o
SORRY?!?!? Don't be sorry, not when someone's offering you advice. I was throwing ideas out for you, not yelling or berating you. You don't even need to take anything I say there seriously. One more piece of advice though, read through some of the posts here, some of them are better than this, some are, quite frankly worse. When you read through and see what the people want then it might be easier to get them to leave you alone about the mindless details.
Updated: Thanks Cheka man!
Updated: Thanks Pariah!
Thanks Drackler
The history may need more detail, but at least two things should be clearer - usage and limits.
For usage, it is likely not enough to point it - the goblins would have found out this sooner or later. Perhaps you have to concentrate on the target (even if not knowing the power of the wand). Aside, as I see it, you could accidentally use the power on an _older_ person than yourself, and switch ages, too! The wand could be then seen as a cursed item.
Also, the process of suddenly getting decades younger (or older) should be very stressing to both the target and the wand's wielder. (Maybe this is what creates the uncurable disease? Several shocks to your very life force?)
Then, there should be a limit to its powers - what if it is only usable once per month, or per year? The wand is pretty powerful, and you should not be able to create the effect too often (the wand just recharges in the mean time). The wasting disease can be made _much_ slower then, but getting faster with each use of the wand.
On the whole, I do not like items that grant immortality, but this one _merely_ gives you more time among the Living. Death cannot be refused, but it can be delayed for a time. There could be stories of a mighty wizard stealing youth from others to prolong his life, only to end horribly distorted. Fairy tales, one could say.
It is funny how we pick on this, to make it better. An imperfect post, but there is a solid idea behind it. An interesting start, Drackler!
2/5 Shows some Definite Promise (and has potential for more)
1)I changed it because that was really a good idea and i had not thought of that, 2)the reason that you can use it so often is because it is supposed to give you the disease
well thanks anyway manfred
Thanks manfred, I do need to fix that.
Updated: Thanks everyone
They are hitting upon all the basic points. I think you need to expand it, adding more description to your post. It is really too incomplete to be useful as anything other than a good idea.
Updated: MoonHunter gave some very good advice, and i'm sorry if i have offended anyone with my work.
That Barbarian Horde comment was me...sorry timed out.
Better rewrite. See new vote.
It is more of a plot than an item. The item is something of a McGuffin, something to motivate people... rather than being important in and of itself.
Of course, why did he dump it down the wishing well?
That's just it he didn't, it also could be that Thok-the-goblin wished for a way to live forever, and got his wish just not the way he thought.
Okay, it's better than the past rewrites, and it's a good idea. You just lack a bit in the presentation.
Updated: Rewrite
Updated: Rewrite: Cleared up grammatical problems and improved in a general sort of way upon how it reads. Redid the backstory, description (sightly), and the properties.
A decent item - I'd add a multiple-year 'charge' time to it which would serve to add some complexity. Perhaps it is hidden somewhere 'safe' to charge and the PCs are contacted to retrieve it.
Of course the PCs are bringing more then the rod to the villain - they may be a victim as well.
I like the flippant tone and the physical description of the item. The tone adds an often subtle nature of evil, an example of the banality of evil. A smart write up to a very simple item.