Fluorescent Alcoholic Fungus
Fluorescent Alcoholic Fungus, also known as FAF, is a special kind of neural-sentient fungus, commonly found in non-hygienic taverns..
The good: You don't need light. They are very beautiful and provide a special ambience in the room.
The bad: The noise. The noise!
The Fluorescent Alcoholic Fungus is a tiny, neural-sentient fungus, bundled together in small colonies, in non-hygienic taverns and inns. Barkeeps need to keep an eye out, for these buggers or they will regret it later.
FAF are not natural creatures. They are the result of a lonely, but powerful wizard, who drank to much and had a thing for fluorescent colors. When he discovered that his creation was able to multiply by itself around his favorite taverns, it was too late to stop the spread. FAF will not grow naturally in puddles of alcohol. They are always 'imported' by unwary customers, who have picked them up from infested taverns.
Individual FAF is no larger than the size of the head of a pin, but since they live in colonies, you will often see a lot of them. A colony looks like clusters of broccoli, without the stems and the colony acts as one single creature, like a small hive. They are often light blue in color, but variations of all colors in the rainbow, have been seen. The individuals in a colony is always of the same color. The skin of these creatures are smooth and shiny and they feel cold and moist to the touch. The fungii becomes fluorescent when they come in contact with alcohol and they will glow even more brightly, the more or the stronger the alcohol, they are subjected to. If well fed they will light up, as a well-lit torch.
FAF loves all kinds of alcoholic beverage and ignores any other kind of fluids. They grow in small puddles left on the floor, on the walls or even better, in the crevasses of wooden tables, which are their favorite place. The tiny fungii feed of these puddles and will expand the colony with new members, if new puddles are close by. It can be quite a show, watching the little creatures, break of pieces of the colony and metamorph into more tiny creatures, in the pursuit of new puddles and some really grose taverns, even have FAF races. FAF will absorb other liquids, including poison, acid and oil, and keep them inside until popped.
Even though these tiny, mysterious creatures provide light and a pleasant atmosphere, they can be a real annoyance in many ways. You see, FAF loves music, just as much as alcohol. When music, songs and sometimes normal speech is nearby, they will dance or rather sway in concert, which is fun at first, but really distracting for any length of time. Worst of all, however, is the humming. A humming FAF colony, sounds like a choir of small tiny voices singing in concert with music, songs and speech in the vicinity. Imagine the sound of kicking a smurf in his 'unmentionables' while forcing him to sing. That's what it sounds like and remeber: FAF sings in choirs! Even though they are not out of tune and they sing very low, the constant background humming can ruin the best of parties, unless you are on some crazy, hallucinogenic drug..
Another annoying thing, is their ability to travel with the tavern guests. If you have spilled a drop of alcohol on your clothes, often the little buggers are willing to sacrifice a part of their colony just to come with you. Sometimes the tiny spores are so small, that you can barely see them, which can make it difficult to know, if you are carrying some.
Removing FAF are quite difficult, since they are stuck deep in the crevasses of floors, walls, tables, chairs, ceilings and even wooden mugs! If puncutured, which is quite easy, they will let out a small cloud of concentrated alcohol, which is very strong and potent. Some people will willingly take a colony of FAF with them, to enjoy the alcoholic fumes at a later time. The worst part of removing FAF however, is the little death scream of the dying fungus and the mourning hum of its colony. Stupid people have tried to set the fungii on fire, but due to the concentrated alcohol inside them, the result is often a devastating series of explosions and tiny death cries, with several guest as victims of the stupid act. This, will however, remove the FAFs.
The only way to remove FAF, except with fire is to freeze them. This is why disgusting taverns often opens the doors in the winter for day or two.
The Fluorescent Alcoholic Fungus is in itself, not at threat to anyone, but in numbers they can be quite annoying. Use this lifeform for fun or to tease your players. Remember to practice your high-pitch smurf humming. Your players will love you for it. Or not..
Possibility for PCs to play original Star Trek trick that was played on the Klingons with this trouble but with this fungus on cave society that also imbibes alcohol.
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? Responses (6)-6
Customs agents at borders would be looking for smuggled FAF.
Great piece of tavern fluff! Pleasantly weird and mildly troublesome. Well done.
The core idea is fun and the write up amusing. I could see these being a pain if you Accidently sat in a pile of these at the tavern and then tried to duck into the shadows with a glowing humming pile of fungus stuck to you rum soaked tunic.
What is meant by neural sentient?
This is truly odd, in a good way :)