Everybody
'Everybody knows that!' -Mantra of knowitalls everywhere.
Everybody must be the wisest person in all of Creation, because he seems to know everything!
Appearance:
Everybody is a short, wizened old man, wearing a red cloak that conceals all of his face in darkness except for his nose and white beard. He can usually be seen in a tavern, mumbling angrily about 'namedroppers' and 'knowitalls'.
Background:
 'Hah! Youhei is still alive, and he's living in an invisible palace in the mountains! Everybody knows that!'
 'Dammit! I'm sick of this!'
The mumbling in the bar ceased as an ancient looking old man, wearing a red robe, stood up on his bar stool. The man was screaming quite angrily, saliva flying from his mouth.
 'You namedroppers are always saying: Everybody knows this! Everybody knows that! Well for Sun God's sakes, I'm Everybody! And I don't know if Youhei is living in a magic house in the mountains! I don't know if the Emperor is really a doppleganger or not! I don't know if grog will cure a hangover! So SHUT UP!!!'
 With that, the old man named Everbody leapt from his stool and stomped out of the tavern.
-----------------------------
Everybody is just an ancient man who is tired of people namedropping. The outburst above is quite common in taverns wherever he goes, and he has recently considered quitting the tavern scene altogether. His wife thinks that this is a splendid idea, because she thinks that all the anger is bad for his heart.
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? Responses (9)
I wonder if Everybody is the victim of a demon's ironic curse. Say, he had been talking about summoning a particular demon he had heard about from his father, who heard it from his father and so on for several generations, and was motivated by this alleged past dealing with the demon to study magic and gain the knowledge and power neccessary to summon the demon. Once summoned, the demon broke free of the wards and told the wizard that every time the demon's name had been spoken, the demon was forced to hear the conversation, no matter if he wanted to or not. As retribution, the demon cursed the wizard to be named Everybody and hear every conversation once someone spoke his name.
Just an interesting possibility for the source of the old man's anger. Of course, the players might encounter a similar curse as well...
Too much humor value. Unless you are running a Terry Pratchet or Zanth like campaign, I could not see using it.
Bah! You're just too serious, that's all!
It has to be a curse. Otherwise it is too silly.
What's wrong with silly?
Haha.
:)
I lol'ed.