Ranged Weapons
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Comments: 22
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ID: 6264


February 28, 2011, 8:53 pm

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Inspired by #35 from 30 Benefits to owning a pet crocodile.

Because somebody had to.

The croc-a-pult is an ingenious invention used by some of the more creative tribes of Lizard folk. It is a modified version of the standard catapult, with a sling designed for holding the long, narrow body of a crocodile and a mechanism for lowering it to ground level so the specially trained beasties can crawl onto it. Aiming and firing the croc-a-pult requires a great level of skill. It is essential that the reptiles spin in full rotations so that they will land on their bellies, ready to spring into action.

The crocs and the croc-a-pult operators receive a great deal of training. The operators, affectionately called "croccers", work with rock-packed, long leather bags until they gain a minimum level of competence. Strong bonds are formed between "croccers" and their crocs. The crocs themselves are wrapped up in padded leather jerkins and given a quick-release strap that is placed between their teeth. With a simple sideways tug of the strap the jerkin falls away and they are ready for action.

A favored tactic is to hide a dozen or more croc-a-pults behind a low hill or a wall of vegetation and then launch the critters over an advancing army's shield wall. The crocodiles will then happily go to work, causing chaos in the enemy ranks as they tear into any nearby soldier. Armies have been known to scatter at the sight of spinning crocodiles flying through the sky.

Many tribes hold annual croc-a-pult competitions. As many kobolds as can be captured are put into pens. The team to successfully land the most crocodiles in a pen becomes the winner. Predictably, kobolds become very nervous during that time of year.


The croc-a-pult was invented out of desperation when a small tribe of Lizard Folk, living at the edge of a swamp, were nearly overrun by a human army. A human noble, named Lord Hallen, had declared a crusade against the swamp dwellers and their serpentine gods. He vowed to rid the swamps of their filthy, heretical ways, by means of the just and mighty wrath of the All-Seeing Kelvannath. Rumors of a lost city deep within the swamp containing great riches played no part in the attempted cleansing.

The courageous warleader Uss'Rak hit upon the concept of the croc-a-pult while watching the humans try to trundle their great siege engines across whatever solid ground they could find. Scattering the accursed army became a matter of surprise tactics (including the croc-a-pult), serpentine persistence, and human stupidity.

During the annual croc-a-pult competitions, the foresight of Uss'Rak is celebrated by great amounts of alcohol.

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Comments ( 22 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Silveressa
February 24, 2011, 13:24

Lol I love it, I'm glad you found my idea worthy to expand into a sub. :)

February 25, 2011, 13:36
I know I'm easily amused, but the image of a croc sailing through the air as a projectile just tickled my funny-bone and I had to run with it.
Voted Michael Jotne Slayer
February 24, 2011, 13:42

It is just below what I would expect from a silly item submission, it is not bad per se but a bit short on explanations and I do not find it very useful.

February 24, 2011, 13:43
I rather assumed it was a "silly" sub...
Voted Renlim
February 24, 2011, 18:19

Silly or not, it is awesome!  I can just see the expressions of my PC's faces as I describe what would be happening.

Michael Jotne Slayer
February 24, 2011, 18:50

You might want to add the "Silly" Freetext.

February 24, 2011, 18:59
I intended to but didn't see the option. If I understand the level system correctly, it is level 3 that lets me use established freetext.
February 25, 2011, 0:48
Update: Finally, level 3 :)

Adding "Silly" freetext.
Michael Jotne Slayer
February 25, 2011, 9:10
Yay! Have some grog!
February 25, 2011, 9:23
February 25, 2011, 9:29
Aye! We have excellent grog in these parts. Though I fear it often leads to more silliness.
February 25, 2011, 11:50
Congrats! I recommend a shot of Timmy's Tequila when you reach 4th! :)
Voted Cheka Man
February 25, 2011, 12:17

Doesn't it hurt the crocs being catapaulted?

February 25, 2011, 12:43
Probably, and it likely pisses'em off too; an the only thing worse then a croc, is an angry injured croc!
February 25, 2011, 13:29
Honestly, there were a couple of ideas I left out when I wrote this because I didn't want to overdo the gag. There was the history of the pioneering war leader who invented the tactic and then there were special padded leather jerkins used to cushion their landing (which they were trained to quickly release).

Of course, I hadn't considered the efficacy of pissed off crocs :)
Voted Ramhir
February 25, 2011, 18:22

Ooo-Kay! Remind me not to be a kobold around there. Or a croc! Watch out for low-flying crocs!

Voted Murometz
February 25, 2011, 18:52

Its cute! And how can you not love the title, Croc-a-Pult? The pioneering war-leader and the special padded jerkins sound very interesting btw!

Voted Drackler
February 25, 2011, 21:12

 You could always add in the further information on the end, in case somebody wanted to read it.

February 28, 2011, 20:53
Update: Incorporated the padded leather jerkins and the story of the intrepid warleader.
Voted axlerowes
May 3, 2011, 16:48

If Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman can do it why not a croc? 

Solid idea and an amuzing one at that...might be a shark jumper for a campaign though...once the PC realize the GM is open to launching animals at each other as form of warfare things threaten to get all Monty Python on ya.


Voted RHHale
December 11, 2012, 19:51
Hilarious!!! Love it!!!
Voted valadaar
April 23, 2013, 11:53
The image of spinning Croc's makes this for me.


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