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March 27, 2011, 11:21 pm

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Corran's Cooking Set


Despite becoming the god of creation later in life, Corran was renowned as being a master craftsman first, and possibly the worst cook to ever live second. This cooking set changed all that.

The Set

A large pot.

Two Medium-Sized pots

A saucepan

Frying Pan




Chef's-style knife.



"Corran, you've created art, but the minute you step into the kitchen... it's anti-art."

Corran was a terrible cook. His culinary creations bordered on torture and poisonous, his sauces were weak, watery, or capable of causing harm with their overpowering taste. Corran burned what should have been lightly scorched, could ruin a salad, and tended to make guests sick. Many quickly learned not to partake of his offered victuals.

The problem continued into his middle age. Corran hired many cooks through the years to cook for him, an arrangement that served him well until his romantic life flourished upon meeting his wife, Bethany. Bethany quickly learned of her beloved's inability- and as women are wont to do- set out to change that.

Cooking lessons failed. Instruction curbed the disasters, and while his meals were no longer lethal in taste, they still worked as troll repellent. No matter how expert the mind watching his hands, the result was the same.

Bethany despaired. If she could not improve her husband in that one simple way, what hope did she have for stopping his late night visits to the workshop, his forgetfulness regarding the chamberpot lid, and the sulfur explosions that were common?

Corran soon realized the effect his lacking skills were having on his fiance. Resolute to create an artifact to help with his cooking, he grabbed Vulcan's Walking Stick and set out to make his woman happy.

Starting with the royal court, Corran heckled furiously to get the aid of the royal chef.

"Five gold for entrance to the royal kitchens."

Corran glared at the pompous man blocking his way, pointing the pointy end of his walking stick at the guard.

The man laughed, moving forward to dispose of the old man.


"Look, he was being an ass, I melded him into the wall with my stick here, now shuttup and listen to what I need before I use it on you." Corran snapped at the royal chef.


Fine food lavishly arrayed for him, spices of all kinds collected by Bethany, with ingredients scrounged from all across town, Corran was ready. Corran began by creating the implements themselves. Heating the necessary metals to a white-hot glow, allowing the flames of Vulcan's Walking Stick to remove his taint. The tools thus created, he set to imbibing them with the essences of well-cooked food, immolating them together with the food the royal chef had so carefully prepared. As the set began to cool, he liberally spread every spice and ingredient available over them, seasoning them as a cook would food. Again he allowed the walking stick to purify and mix the essences together.

Once finished, Corran ensured to seal the power within the new items, so as to protect them against his corrupting influence.


Cooking with the Set

The set is nigh-indestructible. The frying pan in particular has seen consistent use as a bludgeon. All pieces of the set can be used without being cleaned, and remain immaculate with a simple rinse with water, or other available liquid. They are highly resistant to magic, a consequence of the technique Corran used to keep the set from inheriting his food-killing essence.

Any food cooked in the set comes out perfectly prepared, seasoned, and presented. Any dish touched by a piece of the set is affected. The cook has great control over this, able to spice and flavor as he wishes, for the utensils respond to a cook's desire. Left alone, all pieces of the set are capable of correctly spicing and seasoning any food. The set has powerful sanitizing effects on food, rendering it safe to eat in all but the rarest circumstances.

The set needs not be all in one place to be effective, and any one piece works as strongly as having them all.


DM Notes:
The level of technology evident in these items may not be -exactly- historically correct. Frankly, I don't care :)

The cooking set items are all powerful items in their own right, so giving the party a bunch of heavy pots and pans to lug around might not be a good idea.... or is it?

Additional Ideas (1)

Corran's Coffee Spoons:

A natural outgrowth of Corran's culinary experimentation, the coffee spoons were created as quick gifts to give to friends and as wedding favors for his marriage to Bethany. Coffee spoons come in a variety of flavors, but are distinguishable via a small engraving set into the handle of each elaborately worked silver teaspoon.

SC: Sugar and cream
CC: Cinnamon-chocolate
VC: Vanilla-caramel
RC: Rum and cream

The second "C" in every variety doubles as Corran's initial. Using a coffee spoon has the added benefit of purifying and mellowing the coffee it is used on -- even the harshest brew becomes smooth and palatable after a few good stirs. Poisons are also completely neutralized.

2013-06-03 02:27 PM » Link: [6286#87670|text]
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Comments ( 10 )
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March 27, 2011, 13:58
Update: Oops, formatting error.
Voted MysticMoon
March 27, 2011, 16:57

Good characterization of Corran. The link to Vulcan's Walking Stick was broken but I was able to find it through search.

This was an entertaining read. Characters and items like these can definitely be used to "flavor" a campaign.

I do have one question. How was the cooking set created? That part seems a little vague but is key to the whole piece. Did it originally belong to the royal chef? Was the walking stick somehow involved?

Voted Cheka Man
March 27, 2011, 16:59

I want this for my flat.

March 27, 2011, 23:21
Update: Better explanation of how the items were created.
March 27, 2011, 23:57
A nice addition.

I also noticed that the link to Vulcan's Walking Stick has been fixed.
Voted Dossta
May 28, 2013, 17:18
I enjoy Corran's various creations (and mishaps). Magic items should be created with a purpose in mind, and more of them should have mundane purposes like this.
Voted Gossamer
June 3, 2013, 15:12
xD The lid of the chamberpot.... Ahrm, do they have a distinguishing look to them, or do they just look like normal utensils? And if so, how would one know that they've acquired them? Through cooking only? What material are they made of, can they be destroyed?
Voted axlerowes
January 21, 2015, 14:18

The Corran subs are true treasure of the Citadel. I have enjoyed everyone of them, thank you Ted. This one could use just a little buff and polish to really make the witty tone shine, but I enjoyed it all the same. However, usually Corran's creation have a little tick or quirk to them. These items, while the telling of the story is fun, the items themselves lack a Corran's typical pluck and eccentricity.

What if the items also got imbued with the cooks snobbery and will refuse to cook certain dishes or use lesser ingredients or combinations of ingredients.

Example: What if the pots refuse to open because you are trying to boil a fish.

Bethany: What is wrong with the lid to these pots? CORRAN DID YOU WELD THESE THINGS SHUT LIKE WITH THE TEAPOT?!?

Corran's Scribe who had been ideally taking notes in the kitchen passes Bethany a note as he can speak the unspoken language of Corran's items: Dearest Beth, The pot says that it is wrong to boil skate wings. He has talked to frying pan and he is completely ready, just place the wings in him about 8 minutes before it is time to serve,

Yours truly,


Bethany: But my father loves fish stew, tell the pots just to make a stew, papa will be here in a few hour.s

CS: My Darling Bethany,

The Pot says you father will like the skate wings pan fried.

Love always,


Bethany: My father hates the look of pan fried fish, he likes food he can slurp, beside he says fish tastes too strong when you don't stew it. *The Pot is now cold to the touch*


Oh Sweetest Beth,

The Pot and pan have agreed that your father is a tasteless philistine and he would be better off eating with the pigs, because they would not lower themselves to serve a man who does not appreciate fresh skate wings.

Longing for your touch,


Voted valadaar
May 12, 2016, 8:38
Nice items, and great comments. Axles' dialog especially :)
Voted Murometz
May 12, 2016, 15:44
What val said!

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