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Comments: 7
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Condition: Normal
ID: 6434

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August 29, 2011, 8:35 am

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Cheka Man

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The Penitent Sea

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Some sailor’s speak of Fiddler’s Green, where the music never stops and the rum flows free. Some speak of Davy Jones, and how he waits for those whose souls are a dark as the deep. Yet there is one more possible destination for those who sail the seas, home to seamen who deserve neither eternal peace nor damnation. They call it the Penitent Sea.

 

There are two ways to reach the Penitent Sea. The first was is to be a sailor, and to have lived your live short of virtue, yet not so vile as to deserve eternal torment. Upon death, you would find yourself on the Sea, awaiting such time until you have worked off you soul debt. The other way is while still living, and sailing to the heart of a certain maelstrom in the southern ocean.

However you get to the Penitent Sea, you will find yourself floating amidst a field of wreckage. Upon the horizon you can see, though barely, the outline of an island. If you are fortunate, you can find a piece of debris large enough to allow you to float. If not, then you will slowly tire, until you begin to slip beneath the waves, to feel your life slowly ebb away. You will then wake, to find yourself again floating in a field of flotsam and jetsam. If you can find a makeshift raft, and if you can climb fully upon your it (or if you were prepared with some sort of portable boat), you could theoretically float forever, for there are not currents nor winds in the Penitent Sea. If you have a paddle however, you could try and set a course for the island in the distance. Unless you have come prepared, however, you would succumb to the blistering sun first, or die of hunger and thirst, before you reach the island. After your death, you would wake to find yourself floating, yet again, with the island as distant as ever, the memory of your progress, and your failure, fresh in you mind.

Depending on how lax a you were with your virtues, you might encounter more than just sea and sun during their time of penance. Sharks, seagulls, jellyfish, grasping seaweed, and other creatures of the deep can all harass those souls who have the greatest sin to shed. These torments are not assigned in any way corresponding to how you have sinned, only to the magnitude to which you are unforgiven.

After you have undergone enough penance, reliving days of torment or tedium, always followed by a watery death, you may, if you still have your wits about you, notice that you are waking up closer to the island. It is still to far to reach easily, and the sea may yet have more punishment for you, but you getting closer to the island. Slowly, as your  sins are washed away, the island will become closer yet.



Eventually, all souls in the Penitent Sea, both living and dead, arrive on the shores of the island. They are not yet free.  They still must face the guardians of the island. These take the shape of crabs the size of a small horse, and their purpose is to not let anyone past the shore who has not paid off their worldly sins. Those that have been properly purified are allowed to proceed to the interior. Those that have not, will be attacked. If you try to fight the crabs, and manage to kill one, two more will rise from it’s broken shell. If you should die in your attempt, well, you can probably guess.

Souls that are allowed to make their way to the center of the island, will find there a cave filled with a golden light. They can walk into the cave and pass through the light, emerging either in Fiddler’s Green (for the souls of the dead) or upon some tropical isle in the Southern Sea (for living souls that sailed through the maelstrom). There are stories, however, of dead souls that have faced the Penitent Sea, and made it past the guardians, and rejected the call of Fiddler’s Green and returned instead to earth.


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Comments ( 7 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Cheka Man
August 27, 2011, 15:42
0xp

A sailor purgatory.

Voted hylandpad
August 27, 2011, 16:17
0xp

Solid, usable submission, entirely appropriate for a nautical themed adventure. I like the feeling of hopelessness, with a vague outline of forgiveness. Plenty of room here for adventure.

Voted PoisonAlchemist
August 27, 2011, 16:49
1xp

It took me a few rereadings to understand that the repetition in the beginning is intentional, though I still feel it could be handled in a more clear manner.

Voted Dossta
August 28, 2011, 22:28
0xp

A good central concept for a believable sailors' purgatory.  I agree that it could be rewritten slightly for greater clarity, but it didn't bother me that much.  I wonder how intelligent the crabs are -- they almost seem like a sort of celestial being in disguise.  Overall, well done :)  Definitely consider submitting this to AG's A New Take on Hell.

Tauric
August 29, 2011, 8:43
0xp

Thanks everyone, for the comments and votes.

I didn't envision the crabs to be sentient. Their only purpose is making sure no soul that is still stained with sin proceeds onto the island. To that end, they have the ablilty to sense out impurity, but there is no way to reason with them, because they only really have the rudimentary intelligence of an arthropod. Of course, that's just my interpretation, other users may decide that they are low ranking angels, assigned to this task.

I went back and rewrote the repetitive section of the second paragraph, it should be easier reading now.

I wrote this piece in response to the codex on Hell, but I don't know how to link them. I looked at the codex submission, but I can't find a "suggest submission" button anywhere. Should I just add a comment with a linkback to here?

Voted Scrasamax
August 29, 2011, 12:07
0xp
Only Voted. I like.
Voted Fallen Angel
September 6, 2011, 14:50
Only voted

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