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Hits:	1113
Comments:	9
Ideas:	0
Rating:	2.9167
Condition:	Normal
ID:	5694

Submitted:
March 10, 2009, 10:49 am
Updated:
March 10, 2009, 12:40 pm

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The Hangman's Twist

By:

ryanator

A twist on the old.

Hangman’s Twist

A long, blood encrusted hemp rope, tied into a hangman’s knot.

History
Thinking that a criminals lot in life should continue for a bit into the next, the magistrate of a small fishing village requested that this item be forged to quell the locals (And a few pirates) into a stronger obedience towards the law.

It is kept by the local executioner, Solomon Gardener.

Magical properties

It turns it’s victims into zombie servants. These zombies are mentally aware, yet incapable of doing anything but the commands, and wishes of the rope’s master.

The zombies are usually used in community tasks, such as farming, construction, and sometimes defense.

It’s activation command word is "Compressione", it’s deactivation word (In the case of those that have "served" their time) is "Allenti".

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Comments ( 9 )

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Murometz
March 10, 2009, 11:08

0xp

Interesting idea, but somewhat confusing. I kinda like the idea of criminals "further" punished after death, but then again, the zombie doesn't know its a zombie, does it? In other words, how is that further punishment necessarily for the criminal? Also, what happens to all these criminal zombies? Servitude of some kind?

Oh and welcome to Strolens! :)

Dozus
March 10, 2009, 15:23

0xp

Welcome to the Citadel, Ryanator!

I see this interesting little item abused by Mr. Gardener or perhaps by other lawmen. Short on farmers for this year's harvest? Black Jack's execution date just got bumped up. Need to finish building the new manor before his Majesty arrives? Some convenient evidence connects Scarface Jones to a recent murder.

That's to say, it's a great idea. I'd love to see it fleshed out more. How was it created? Who's this Solomon guy? All of Muro's questions could use some exploring as well.

I thus hold off my vote until you're able to hammer it out some more. But, as I said, a great start. Hope to see more from you!

Michael Jotne Slayer
March 10, 2009, 17:49

0xp

This seems a little rushed. Short can be sweet, but it needs to "Say it all" as well. So you do not have to write ten more pages, just enough to make sense and be usable!

Moonlake
March 10, 2009, 19:25

0xp

Also will hold off vote. Basically agreed with comments on more details. However, differing quite a bit on my interpretations from Muro. I thought the part about "These zombies are mentally aware" means that these zombies are aware of what happens to them (I mean they might not work out they are zombies at first but they are capable of working it out). Also, the part about servitude is pretty clear to me though not in great details. But then, I agree with Muro that the why of it needs to be worked out further.

P.S. Muro, hope I haven't offended you. I'm simply telling of my interpretations on the issues raised, which just happens to be different from yours. I've noted, however, that you commented before the post was last updated. Possibly that's where the discrepany came in.

Murometz
March 10, 2009, 21:14

0xp

Not offended at all! No worries.

mea culpa, I may have missed that line, which would mean that I'm an idiot since this is only 7 lines long. (i crack myself up). However, if that line was added after an update, I'm in the clear ;)

Giving this a second read, I'll go with, "What Dozus said." I'd also happily re-vote if some more info is added, fleshing this out a bit.

punkcasher
March 11, 2009, 1:13

0xp

This is what I'm talking about. Dozus, you are the kinna person I love writing for. The one who takes someone elses babies, and the ever so gently adds to them, kinda making them your own. The concept is great ryanator. A++

manfred
March 11, 2009, 16:10

0xp

Short, but the comments make up for it. :)

Now, what would happen in this town full of working undead, if someone were to cut the rope...

valadaar
March 12, 2009, 10:39

0xp

This could also be a bit more with a bit more time, but it is a good idea for a magic item.

PoisonAlchemist
September 14, 2011, 5:05

0xp

This has such potential. The idea of lawmen abusing the item, a society that is entirely accepting of the dead wandering around, moral issues of whether this is inhumane since their free will is stripped. And my personal favorite:

*cleric walks into a town full of zombies*

"AAAAHHH!" *Greater Turn Undead*

"Noooo! without those laborers we're going to starve this winter! You fool you've killed us all!"

Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Believable magic, like ordinary physicis, operates according to some invariable laws that always result in some kind of cost or "bounce back". The grater the magic, the more it should cost the character physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
By: MoonHunter | Visit | UpVote 0xp

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