Login or register. (You can now login/register with your social networks.)

6 Votes


Hits: 4645
Comments: 11
Ideas: 0
Rating: 4.4167
Condition: Normal
ID: 3053


April 28, 2008, 1:39 pm

Vote Hall of Honour

You must be a member to use HoH votes.
Author Status


Print Friendly and PDF

Mumwertz's Affectionate Elixirs


The customers who find this elusive little shop may leave with more than a simple love potion in their pocket.

Once in a while, those wandering the back streets of the city spot something new:  A little shop nestled where an empty lot once sat.  It shows every appearance of age, with its grimy windows and badly-faded sign proclaiming Mumwertz’s Affectionate Elixirs in archaic script.  Despite that, the shop certainly wasn’t there a week before.

Mumwertz, the elderly proprietor, offers no explanation for his tiny business’ sudden appearances.  He suspects that one of his most potent elixirs (Oudall’s Transmigration Paste) accidentally fell into a bucket of soapy water the last time that he cleaned (many long years ago), but he doesn’t want to let anyone know, as he is several years in arrear on his rent.  One moment the shop nestles among a block of well-established jewelers, then a moment later it has vanished, replaced by an empty lot.  The dusty storefront will reappear eventually, on an entirely different street, or perhaps even a different city.  In any case, the moment the store is gone, none of the other local merchants can remember it.  Only those that actually purchase something can recall the place. 

Within, the tiny store is filled with bizarre knickknacks and charms.  Exotic potions clutter the shelves, promising all sorts of weird benefits.  These concoctions range from Oil of Falconsight to Poet’s Elixir.  Equally odd charms and fetishes share the filth-encrusted shelves, including rarities made with such unusual substances as Hagwort (a protection against prying in-laws) and Elephant’s Nail (sure to give solid footing).  Some items are religious relics, including the owner’s prized Eyeteeth of St. Dissam (well-known for the protection they offer thieves).  The doddering old apothecary keeps the well-preserved ‘Falchion of Al Gojj’ behind his workbench;  he brandishes the relic feebly at any neer-do-well that threatens his shop.

Mumwertz takes extravagant pride in his assortment of love charms and potions, which range from the famous (but somewhat toxic) Challian Bug Powder to the somewhat less potent Ardent Ungent of Ix.  A romantic at heart, he will vigorously attempt to demonstrate the efficacy of his products by setting up customers with random passerby.  This sometimes results in unfortunate incidents as local shopgirls are dosed with the Passion Powder of Bing or the little-known Colton’s Curse of Insatiable Frenzy (which is generally not as exciting as it sounds, but works admirably to calm frightened horses).  Mumwertz also carries a fine selection of comfits, candies made from nuts and dried fruits, which he highly recommends to those already in love.  He very seldom sells candies laced with love potions to unsuspecting customers, but mistakes have been known to happen and the two types of sweetmeats DO look very similar.

Due to his shop’s tendency to unceremoniously vanish, Mumwertz avoids going out whenever possible and depends on others to run errands for him.  He can usually guess when the little storefront is about to move, but the doddering alchemist has occasionally been seen bumbling about the streets of the city, plaintively calling, "Shopppp! Here boy! C’mon shop! Where the devil did you get off to THIS time?" Anyone helping him find his wayward store will be amply rewarded from Mumwertz’s dusty stock of discounted elixirs.

Additional Ideas (0)

Please register to add an idea. It only takes a moment.

Suggested Submissions

Join Now!!

Gain the ability to:
Vote and add your ideas to submissions.
Upvote and give XP to useful comments.
Work on submissions in private or flag them for assistance.
Earn XP and gain levels that give you more site abilities.
Join a Guild in the forums or complete a Quest and level-up your experience.
Comments ( 11 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Murometz
September 8, 2006, 18:48
love the fact that Mumwertz will grab his relic falchion and start swinging if necessary :D

nicely done again Wulfhere!...link this to 'Plenty O' Enterprises', Mourngrymn will thank you.
September 8, 2006, 18:57
I haven't yet figured out how to link or add to scrolls properly. When I do, I'd like to link this one up to the "flawed potions" scroll as well. I suspect that many of the items in the shop may be a little "off", much like the proprietor.
September 8, 2006, 19:04
"flawed potions" it is! *POOF*
Voted Cheka Man
September 8, 2006, 19:20
5/5 I want to buy stuff here.
Voted manfred
September 9, 2006, 3:28
Beware the shop that claims to sell love potions, wheter it is truth or not. :)

Good work!
September 15, 2006, 0:10
...ESPECIALLY if it's true!
Voted Scrasamax
September 11, 2006, 9:09
Oudall’s Transmigration Paste!

I like this quite alot Wulfhere! The ambiance is great, as is the realistic bumbling of its owner, misplacing and accidentally using potions, keeping the old sword. I wonder though, does he or can he leave the shop, could it transmigrate while he was oout getting a spot of food to ea, or would it still be there when he got back?
September 18, 2006, 14:20
Update: I added a couple of paragraphs about how Mumwertz deals with his store's tendency to evaporate at random intervals and added a new introduction.
September 15, 2007, 17:54
Ardent Unguent of Ix, Elephant Nail, Eyeteeth of St. Dissam, Oudalls Transmigration Paste, and Coltons Curse of Insatiable Frenzy.

Yes, I believe we have a properly classic and splendid apothecary shop here!
Voted Strolen
April 27, 2008, 21:36
This was a TON of fun to read. I love it! Great store, great visuals, great products, great fun.
Voted valadaar
October 22, 2013, 11:49
Ah, such a great sub. Where did you go Wulf? You fell off the world again!

Link Backs


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

Hu's Iron Ball

       By: Murometz

Hu was an ambassador of the Seventh Emperor of the Reng Dynasty. Throughout his life he traveled across many miles and lands to entreaty with neighboring kingdoms and the semi-savages who dwelled amidst the Metal Mountains.

During one such diplomatic mission, Hu was gifted a small iron marble as a gesture, by a shaman of the Kiy-Kiy tribe. Little else is known of Hu, but that marble was lost and is now somewhere out there for someone to find.

A tiny, shiny sphere, the marble has several properties. First and foremost it is a strong magnet, considerably stronger than its size and density would indicate.

Secondly, if thrown or rolled upon the ground and the command word is spoken, the iron ball will magically enlarge to either the size of an ogres's head or to that of a great globe, twelve feet in diameter. The rolling ball of either size will continue to roll or fly at the same relative speed it was when launched as a marble, and can thus cause great damage to anything in its path. The magnetic power of the ball will also magnify when enlarged.

Legends claim that the ball has been tossed from besieged castles upon attacking foes and rolled at marching armies in ages past. At the end of such rolls, the larger size globe has been known to not only crush soldiers underfoot, but to also "collect" many dozens of metallic weapons and bits of armor unto itself, appearing as an armored sphere, with swords and spears sticking out from it in all directions.

Owning this powerful marble has its drawbacks. Anyone carrying it on their person, will experience the iron ball's insidious effects after some time. The owner feels no worse for wear, but after two month's time they will suddenly awaken one morning to find that their hair has fallen out completely, their teeth loosened like baby's teeth ready to drop, and their fingernails simply shriveled and sliding off the fingers and toes. Perhaps unbeknownst to the owner at first, the iron ball also renders an owner sterile or barren by this time.

Regular clerical healing will not reverse this horrible malady. Only finding and beseeching a shaman of the Kiy-Kiy tribe to heal the iron ball's effects with their particular brand of magic, will work.

Hu's Iron Ball should be handled carefully by players and gms.

Ideas  ( Items ) | March 8, 2014 | View | UpVote 3xp

Creative Commons License
Individual submissions, unless otherwise noted by the author, are licensed under the
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License
and requires a link back to the original.

We would love it if you left a comment when you use an idea!
Powered by Lockmor 4.1 with Codeigniter | Copyright © 2013 Strolen's Citadel
A Role Player's Creative Workshop.
Read. Post. Play.
Optimized for anything except IE.