1-The Pacifist Pike
Perhaps it was created that way as a wizard's idea of a joke, or maybe it was made that way to teach a really hot-headed warrior to behave, but this talking spear, in all but the most dire cases, does not want to kill people, and in a fight will constantly try to appeal to the best natures of both fighters in a whining, pleading tone. It's not totally useless though; it will parry blows expertly, disarm an opponent if it can, hit with the flat of the spear blade and even, in a life or death matter, injure an opponent pretty badly with a slash to the arm or a stab to a kneecap, but it will never kill someone or something if it can avoid it, even Undead.
2-The Fighting Falchion
This talking halberd has the opposite problem; it yearns to fight and kill people and things, even when that would be the wrong thing to do or would get it's owner jailed or executed for certain. It swears at people, wiggles itself to knock over someone's beer or hit someone with the handle , begs it's owner to be used on someone, and in a fight always, always tries to strike maiming and killing blows, and as such cannot be used for sparring for fun. If it's owner tries to hide from a fight, it gives away his or her position so it can fight. Having said that, it's a very effective magical weapon, turning even a poor fighter into a good one and a good one into an expert one.
3-The Drunken Dagger
To gain the full benefits of this magical knife, it needs to be put into a mug of alcohol, the stronger the better, and left that way for a while. Normally drunkenness may increase determination but greatly detracts from performance. Not so with this dagger-when left long enough in neat vodka, it's parrying ability is the same as a longsword and it can inflict some very serious and often fatal wounds. But after a few hours it loses this ability slowly as it "sobers up" and needs to be put into alcohol again to regain it's powers . Merely pouring alcohol on the blade will give it the same powers as a +1 dagger in stats terms, it only fights really well when wasted and it will slur drunken obscenities when fighting.
4-The Racist Rapier
Whilst this rapier has no problem in fighting and killing white people, it's full powers only come out when being used against non white humans, and other races such as Orcs, Goblins, ect. In which case it will twirl and strike expertly in the hand of it's owner providing a huge bonus to skill and in damage inflicted. When it sees anyone but a white person in the street, it will yell racist abuse of the most vile kind to try and goad it's target into fighting it's owner, and this includes when it sees a non-white law enforcement officer or noble. Being magical, it can take blows forceful enough to break the blade of a non-magical rapier. Because of it's vile racism, it resists being wielded effectively by anyone but a white person.
5-The Sexist Scimitar
Forged in a desert country where women were treated as second class citizens at best and beasts of burden at worst, and were certainly not allowed to handle weapons, this scimitar will fight males happily enough but reserves it's full slicing and parrying powers when used against women or female creatures, shouting sexist insults at them the entire time of the fight, such as "Get back to the kitchen!" and far ruder stuff. It has a special hatred for sheildmaidens above all, and almost dances in the hand, so eager is it to get at them. The only way a woman or girl can use this weapon effectively is if dressed as a male, and if the scimitar should find out (eg, by the material binding breasts being cut in a fight), it will refuse to help it's owner and will try to twist in the hand and cut her.
6-The Singing Shield
This magical shield is enchanted to withstand even blows with other magical weapons, but likes to sing songs such as "Hit Me Baby One More Time" loudly in battle.
7-The Larcenous Longsword
Perhaps forged by the same person who made the magical and criminal dagger Lawbane , this longsword reserves it's full magical powers of parrying, stabbing and slicing when used in a crime, the more illegal the better. It also quietly tries to talk it's owner into mugging people, robbing shops and other such criminal activities, and acts mildly worse then a non-magical sword in the hands of a very honest and law-abiding person.
8-The Cowardly Cudgel
This club faces, humans,animals and monsters alike with a strike that can range at the owner's discretion from a light tap, to hard enough to shatter a skull into pieces, but has a terrible fear of the Undead, and when it faces them will tremble in the owner's hand, urge the owner to flee, and be too scared to strike any but the lightest blows. Why it is so terrified of the Undead is unknown;perhaps the wizard who enchanted it was so frightened of the Undead that the fear somehow slipped into the magic that powers the club.
9-The Conservationist Cutlass
Made for a Ranger captain who is one of those who guard the Sorcery Springs Geyser Basin this cutlass is best when fighting poachers, vandals and trespassers, but is reluctant to fight animals, Treemen and other such creatures, even more so if they are rare. It will in such cases protest loudly against fighting an endangered species and try and hit with the flat of the blade instead of the sharp edge.
10-The Moaning Mace
This grumpy mace moans sarcastically about everything it can; the weather, the other people it meets, it's owner, and often prophecies doom and gloom, but in a fight, it will happily hit anyone and everything with blows tough enough to dent even full plate armour and shields and to tear through chainmail. It's use in a fight does to some extent make up for it's constant carping and complaining when not in a fight, but many owners get deeply fed up with it.
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Codex
Lawbane
By: Cheka Man
( Items ) Melee Weapons -
Villanous
I had me a dream once. Just after I *acquired* this here knife. Only the knife was a bit shinier and I was in an alley somewhere. I dunno, maybe it was Brie or Holsten, someplace like that. Anyways, I'm walking down this alley when I comes across some dumb bloke trying to shortcut his way to market. Like *my* alley is a god-d**ned thoroughfare for just anyone!
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So I tells him straight up that this here alley is private property, protected by laws and all, and the only way he's getting out safe-like is to pay the toll. He stutters and he sputters, tries to back out of it; says he can go at it a different way, sorry to bother. But his dumb ass has already trespassed, so in this dream I grabs him by his frilly shirt and tells him it'll cost twice as much to go back the way he came in, on account of wasting my valuable time and all.
He's sweatin' and whinin' and puttin' up such a fuss about it. Says he's shopping for his poor mum or something, 'though I'd betcha he's really off to pay for a poke and a brew, and ain't no reason I shouldn't have a piece of tax on *that*. But he's makin' such a racket that I finally lose it. Pushed to my limits with all this. So I uses my dagger on 'im, slits his throat nice and proper, and he didn't even haves coin enough to cover the double toll. I don't knows what kind of piss-poor ale and diseased-ridden poke he thought he could get for so little. Ah, well.
Now the dream's not over yet. I realizes, this is my first one. Every other times I've been out with my boys, all older and thems doin' all the fun stuff. I looks at my dagger, this here very one, and I realize, this is special. This dagger *means* somethin', and I'll keep it with me as long as I lives, and maybe even after. The blood's stained into it here, ya see, and been there ever since.
I know, I know. You're wonderin' what that's got to do with the price of bread, and I suppose nothin' at all. I just wanted you ta know that there's some serious mojo in this here weapon and some serious histories, and I hopes that's some kind of comfort to ya in the next world; that ye've been kilt by John Noble's own prize knife. The one called Lawbane..."
-- Fringald, petty crook (deceased)
The Dagger
John Noble, whose vision led to the creation of The Regulators, worked his way up from street thug to crime boss. He kept his prize dagger at his side every day of his career as both a reminder of his beginnings (he used it in his very first solo robbery and murder, a scene which plays out in the dreams of each new owner) and as a lucky charm. Upon his death bed, eighty-three years old and fearing an eternity of paying for his earthly crimes, he paid to have his soul trapped within the steel of the weapon. Not for him a Ring of Heaven; he wished to carry on breaking the law long after death. The mage John hired did as he was paid handsomely to do, sucking the soul from the dying body and placing it within the blade. The old rusty patch deepened into a darker red as if freshly covered in blood. For many years his old organization used the blade in their murders, robberies, and extortion schemes until one night the blade was stolen. Since then it has seen many hands, mostly those of criminals; the few honest people who held it for a time either turned to crime themselves or had it stolen in turn from them.
The dagger itself is roughly 12" in length, broad-bladed, and made from cheap steel. There is a spot of rust, the color of dried blood, upon the blade. The size of the stain changes based upon the power held within the artifact. The more its powers are used, the smaller the stain becomes. It may be recharged, but only by the cold-blooded murder of an innocent, a direct rival, or a snitch.
The story of Lawbane is well-known among the criminal world and the weapon is sought after by anyone aspiring to power and notoriety. Which is to say, pretty much all career criminals. It changes hands often, as each prospective owner schemes, connives, or murders to get it for their own glory. The spirit of John Noble revels in this. Lawbane *wants* to be stolen.
Powers
The blade is sentient. Although it cannot speak directly, it can place ideas into the mind of its owner as if the bearer's own; thoughts of stealing, of robbery, brawling, and murder. To those who carry out crimes it can help. The thief on the run from the law becomes that little bit faster, the brawler or murderer better in combat, the mugger more terrifying. They all experience the rush of that first kill, feeding off of the terror of that first victim in that alley long ago. These powers and strong emotions drive the wielder on to greater and bolder crimes.
The dagger projects an aura of intimidation, affecting all but the bearer. Those of evil intent will also be inspired to greater cravings of power.
Should it fall into the hands of an honest soul who cannot be seduced by its promises and urgings, it will send out a soundless distress call. Thieves and murderers will be drawn to it like a beacon. Criminals will feel a powerful urge to mug or otherwise steal from the person. If abandoned or left unprotected, passing burglars will have the urge to break into wherever it sits.
Though only a dagger, certain owners have been as dangerous in combat as if carrying much deadlier weapons, so good has their knife work been.
One of Lawbane's most sought after powers, and one which not every bearer is able to use, is the ability to point out an informant. This requires that it be freshly rejuvenated and will mostly drain all of its power. Of course, successfully finding an informant will likely mean fresh blood for the dagger.
Many more powers have been attributed to it, although not all have been instantiated. Some believe that the wisdom of John Noble will become theirs with possession of the blade, helping even the lowliest street thug achieve great power and notoriety. Others believe it will make them silent as a cat and able to blend into the shadows so well that even the keenest eye will pass by.
The greatest fear John Noble's soul experiences is that the dagger will eventually be destroyed. If that happens, he knows he will find himself in hell.
Plot Hooks
The PCs are supposed to take this weapon to be melted down. Ignorant of its true nature, they are beset upon by every robber in the city as the unhappy, silent cry of the distressed dagger echos around the underworld.
An up-to-now honest PC has got this, will he or she be able to resist its siren song, or will the hero become the villain?
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Sorcery Springs Geyser Basin
By: Cheka Man
( Locations ) Area -
Swamp The Sorcery Springs Geyser Basin is a place of bubbling magical water, as every individual spring or pool has it’s own magical power. It is a place of great wonder and for the careless, great danger too.
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The Sorcery Springs are a unique place, where an underground river, itself heated by magma deep below, flows through a clathrate, giving the water random powers as it bubbles up through the earth and out in a myriad of geysers, hot springs and fumaroles. In the past people used to visit it to gather potions at random and were not always as careful and thoughtful as they should be.
Some suffered horrendous thermal burns and died or were left horribly injured as a result, others used the magical water they gathered for evil or gathered water from the wrong springs by mistake. Geysers were fouled with sticks and rocks and rubbish jammed into their vents, causing the water to be fouled and acquire different and sometimes nasty magical properties. Wizards in the region found their power and income marginalized, as noone would buy their potions anymore. Something clearly had to be done and the leading wizards met with the royal officials and Queen Amber herself to work out a solution.
Some of the more conservative and environmentalist wizards wanted the area sealed off to the general public totally, but the Queen was against that. Many of the springs had good or neutral rather then evil effects and besides, the Queen was not willing to lose her popularity in the region to satisfy a few crusty old mages.
On the other hand public safety was at stake, as the magical water was not only very hot at source but could easily be slipped into peoples drinks. So she had a group of royal Rangers taken from her forests and sent to guard the springs and to seal them off for a month whilst boardwalks were constructed and the springs themselves were tested for the effects of the waters within them.
That way the most dangerous could be kept out of reach of the public, who were to be allowed in to view all of the springs and take waters from a few of them-for a fee. Rules were written for the safety of the public and the springs alike and the rangers were to enforce them.
Despite the best efforts of the rangers however, accidents, poaching and the occasional act of vandalism still happens, but it is far less then it used to be and the Springs are generally kept safe for future generations.
OOC-So what effects do the geysers, pools, hot springs and fumaroles have, both positive and negative? What names do they have? This is where you come in. I want you to submit scrolls like with the Islands thread-Im hoping to get 20 scrolls by this time next year. I will add several of my own of course.
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October 4, 2011, 2:34
Ok, most of them are annoying as hell, but would be excellent for a silly campaign :)
I like the Conservationist most: "You want me to strike a Half-Fiend Feral Elder Manticore? Do you have any idea how rare they are? Let's study it instead! Hey, Manticore, can we study your mating habits?"
The Racist and the Sexist could use an edit, though.
Namely, imagine, even non-white people can be racist (a novel thought!) - so its ideology should be based on the creator's. Also the whole "white people are racist" issue is so overdone to the point where one has to triple check what he's saying just to avoid being politically incorrect, to the point where almost anything can be turned into a race argument. Hence, this needs a little more thought.
Also, a sexist is not necessarily violent against women, so it rather should try to humiliate, disarm and spank female opponents rather than actually hurting them. Of course, lewd comments on female party members and derisive on any females outside a female role should be very frequent. For a spin: it may even be exceedingly gallant, courteous and proper around females who accept the traditional female role.
October 4, 2011, 5:33
As a list the idea comes across as silly, obvious and heavy handed. The word play and alliteration are cute. Yet I still think this could be a useful addition to a GM binder, unless the players are presented with a catalogue of colourful weapons the nature of these items would become apparent over time, and thus imbued with more subtlety. But again you may have silly or magic heavy campaigns or more "classic" juvenile games in which each players carrys a pallet of legendary weapons with titles such as knasty knife or leacherous lance.
October 4, 2011, 9:40
Why. So. Serious?
Gentlemen, this is obviously a silly submission. Let's treat it as such.
1. David 'Dr. Who' Tennant
2. no one came to mind
3. Sean Connery (with full drunken slur)
4. Redneck Randall
5. Groundskeeper Willy
6. Fred Durst or Vanilla Ice
7. Dick Dastardly
8. Fred Jones
9. Stever Erwin
10. Wilford Brimley
October 4, 2011, 12:01
October 4, 2011, 12:45
October 9, 2011, 13:01