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Comments: 8
Ideas: 0
Rating: 2.75
Condition: Normal
ID: 7036


October 14, 2012, 4:01 pm

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The PottyPortal


A toilet that teleports your feces onto the PottyPortal's Poop Hill.

"Are you tired of having to go all the way outside to go to the bathroom? Do you wish you had a toilet inside, but the stench would be too much? Well, the solution is here! The PottyPortal is a low-cost toilet that teleports your urine and feces onto our Poop Hill, where we deal with it. No more leaving the warmth of your homes to go to the bathroom. No more trudging through the elements to do a simple task. Simply go to the indoor bathroom, and do what you had to do!"

The PottyPortal is a cylinder, with a seat like that of a modern day toilet. It has a portal about a foot beneath the rim, which teleports the feces and urine to the PottyPortal's poop hill. The term 'hill,' though, captures the wrong image. Usually, the poop company will dig a pit for the poop. After two years of use, the hole full of poop will be covered off with the old dirt, making a hill.

Throughout the year, the PottyPortal manufacturers sell the poop. Though most city folk have no use, or any inclination to use, their feces, farmers, tanners, and other such groups. This creates a neat cycle, especially for the farmers; the farmers send crops to the cities, the cities convert it to poop, and the poop is uses to grow more crops.

Some PottyPortal manufacturers use earth or crap golems to guard these hills. Sometimes, valuable objects are hidden at the bottom (or the top) in airtight containers by nearby agencies. It is the perfect system; who would want to go for a swim in poop and urine, while fighting off golems of whichever type? As such, sometimes the companies selling PottyPortal's are paid to store such treasures discreetly in the current Poop Hill.

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Comments ( 8 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

October 10, 2012, 16:41
Used by farmers, you say? Sounds like a wizard collecting material for a specialized form of golem:
October 10, 2012, 17:27
I've heard there are some impressive shitstorms over poop hill.
Cheka Man
October 10, 2012, 21:31
October 11, 2012, 20:20
Reminds me of a certain chamber pot..
October 14, 2012, 4:31
I think this is good enough to be a normal idea and get some votes! LOL
October 14, 2012, 16:00
Update: Acting on Strolen's advice, the PottyPortal is now a normal sub. I also added a bit about use and treasure. Have at it, voters.
Voted Strolen
October 17, 2012, 12:21
I'll bite.

Eww, gross!
Voted valadaar
May 9, 2013, 20:51
Only voted

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       By: Dragon Lord

The local band of 'nasties' (goblins / orcs / whatever) lives in relative peace with the local population.

Along come the PCs and go through their usual heroic monster bashing routine, wiping out the nasties and pinching all their stuff, then continue on their way.

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Next time the PCs are in the area they find themselves VERY unpopular with the townsfolk.

Ideas  ( Plots ) | August 10, 2005 | View | UpVote 4xp

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