The Shattering, As Told by Lydecker
With cataclysmic force, the Universe gave birth, attended by Time. First were the twins, existence and oblivion, opposites as white is to black, compliments mixing to gray. Lastly, conflict was bequeathed upon the world, to decide and observe.
The Universe heaved with her childbirth, and perished.
"I would create and grow from that which now is nothing." Existence proclaimed.
"It is noble that you shall do so." Oblivion agreed.
"But your touch- it destroys that which I make, and rends asunder what we love."
Oblivion considered the sibling's words. And Oblivion retreated from existence, to never seek existence's touch again.
I watched the exchange, joining in the creations of Existence. Welcomed as the first living creature to appear before Existence, I quietly refused the simple gifts lavished upon him for his natural thought and being.
"I have no need of your splendor, Existence. Spare your power on the more needy." I said, always surviving, never needing for want.
Conflict Arises, as also Told By Lydecker
I watched with Time, as Existence created her worlds and people, populating and moving from shard to shard. Great were her works, and amazing her creations.
All were glad to see her toils. Oblivion withheld from touching, afraid contact would spoil what was.
The imbalances created by the Shattering thwarted the separation between Existence and Oblivion, as some within creation defied the creator- and sought the end of all things.
Where Oblivion was forced to destroy some of Existence's creation, Lokatt was born.
Schooled and taught in the nature of the new Universe, molded to be the sentience and intelligence of the Conflict that would define all that was, will be and is, Lokatt assumed his position as god and Conflicted One.
I watched, burdened with my memories of old, slowly reminding me of what we lost.
The Universe That Was, By Unknown
Cain's memories of the old universe are broken, shattered. Untouched by conflict, unified and whole, Cain experienced the world in 'perfection', only to be be thrown into an existence not nearly as bright.
The living embodiment of every memory of the Universe That Was, Cain feels haunted. Life was a substitute of lacking quality, akin to rapeget, an abomination to the memories of what was, an affront to perfection.
Lokatt studied his fellow immortal. Weighed down heavily by the delicate movements around the machinations of Oblivion and Existence, Lokatt could do little. Oblivion languished, pained that its antithesis to Existence was used to bring harm to others.
Cain pondered this. Doubt and uncertainty grew in his mind, strangling his benevolent feelings towards what exists today. What once was, needed to be avenged...
Aftermath of Today.
Cain lives a mostly solitary life. Lokatt continues his travels, directing conflicts subtlety. Cain closes his eyes and sees what was- but now opens them to discover what can be. Shattered as it is, the Universe is not irreparable. Lydecker keeps his knowledge of the true state of the world a closely-guarded secret. Knowing the secret of Existence's creation allows one the dread access to Oblivion- trusted only in the hands of conflict.
Visions of Perfection
"Words are a pale reflection of the feelings I have for what I have lost. They are bitter thoughts, empty and dull compared to what I dream of. Bounty, riches. Peace. Smiles and laughter. I miss it Lokatt, I miss that serenity. Here, you're constantly stopping Oblivion 'sforces, making sure that existence can exist. It's all a mockery of what we've lost."
Cain is a quiet individual, never using four words what three (or less) could say as easily. Sleep comes easily to the man now, although he stills dreams of what was. Of the shattering, he remembers nothing. Cain wanders freely, always able to survive without much aid.
Lokatt has discovered that Cain is in fact the sentience of the Shattering, and it's memories of the universe it destroyed. In this capacity, Lokatt believes that Cain may have been a failed Conflicted One that destroyed the universe so that it could regain its former splendor.
Cain is intended to be a source of information regarding the very substance and nature of the world as it is. Knowledgeable about Lokatt and the Conflict between Existence and Oblibion, Cain can easily give players perspective on their potential roles as arbitrators of Lokatt's power.
Cain can make a suitable end-campaign enemy should he learn of his true role in the Shattering. Insanity, sadness and a reawakened connection to Oblivion make him particularly dangerous- to the point where Lokatt's direct confrontation would destroy all that exists.
Not Registered Yet? No problem.
Do you want Strolenati super powers? Registering. That's how you get super powers! These are just a couple powers you receive with more to come as you participate.
- Upvote and give XP to encourage useful comments.
- Work on submissions in private or flag them for assistance.
- Earn XP and gain levels that give you more site abilities (super powers).
- You should register. All your friends are doing it!
? Responses (8)-8
Update: Oops, HTML/BBCode Goof
I have no idea what I just read. What is this? How is this to be used? Is Cain a planet? A universe? Something like Gaia, or Mother Earth, is how this feels, but we have no real idea what this is. It reads like a creation myth of religious significance, but falls short of explaining anything to a useable degree. Withholding vote until I figure this one out.
I join in Pieh's confusion.
It sounds like something from Warren Ellis, albeit with less clarity.
I too am withholding my vote.
I think the problem is that it is too vague and could use more details. I also think the overall theme is a little scattered (is it a creation myth? a tale about immortals?). I would suggest figuring out what the theme is and then going back through paragraph by paragraph, weighing each one against how well it fits/expands/explains that theme. Then cut, reword, and expand as needed until the message is clear.
Just my 2 cents.
This looks more like a first draft than a polished sub, so I will also withhold my vote.
Mm, similarly. It sure strikes me as a creation myth, and as a creation myth it works, but here's the rub: where's the tie in to the Quest? How does this relate to fallen empires?
Update: Hopefully with The Shattering submitted, this will make more sense to you guys.
A little more, yep, but only that. Too many unanswered questions. Who and what are the "Conflicted Ones?" Who and what is Lokatt? We get some of the metagame knowledge about Cain here, but what do the PLAYERS perceive? How is it that he remembers nothing about the Shattering (in one paragraph) but has all this pre-Shattering knowledge (in another)?
Beyond that, the presentation looks like a cut-and-paste of bits from several files into this one; no rhyme or reason to the organization. The vote comes from the definition of votes in the 1s: a rough draft not yet suited for public consumption, and a month and a half in, it should be finished or converted into a WIP sub.
I like this one, yet at the same time acknowledge everyone critiques as accurate and valid. I agree this write up makes no sense and relies so much on the suggestion of information as to be almost devoid of information, yet I think it tells a story and sets a tone. The contradictions (though some them may be typos) and the gaps only help to set that tone and they tell you about what is unknown and as well as known.
Many world views ascribe to the forces of nature personalities. Indeed, some world view personify everything, now that is not the way the actual universe works, but what if it was? <b> What if thought was indeed to the core of existence? Then nothing could exist without thought? </b> If that was the case then everything that is or was could be traced back to a thinking being. I think, and maybe I have it wrong, this is the type of the universe describe here. And if this is the case then the human form is not just a product of evolution (or not at all a product of evolution) but a product of an intellect (in this case existence and the universe that was), and this would explain the human centric nature of the universe and why it is personified as an old man.
I think I understand it I think it is daring and interesting take on roleplaying.