1. The Atomic Bombing of Godzilla

It is revealed the atomic testing of the 50s was not in fact weapons tests, but attempts to kill Godzilla. The governments of the world have known that kaiju exist, and have been actively trying to kill one for decades until just quitting for no given reason. This implies that powerful people knew these things existed, and there was nothing in place to deal with them. The Toho franchise frequently rolled out the G-Unit, a military style group to study and contain Godzilla and other kaiju. There is a huge amount of fertile storytelling from the atomic era, and reasons to explain why Godzilla is largely benign to American warships, going under carriers when he could destroy them, why the ships are able to cruise very short distances from the big guy when he's swimming. There is untold and potentially fascinating story here.

2. Killing Joe Brody

Bryan Cranston is a very good very strong actor, and his appearance in Godzilla was a very strong draw for me. I will admit I loved his performance in Breaking Bad. So we have this man who lost his wife in a nuclear accident, sealed to her death by his hands. He is obsessed, to the point that he has aliened his surviving children and family members and lives a life of focus that resembles a maniac, plastering his walls with print outs, covert agreements with questionable people around the world. He is fascinating. And then he is dead.

He dies early in the movie, and the rest of the action is carried on by his son, Ford Brody. Aaron Taylor-Johnson comes across as wooden, a GI Joe caricature.

3. The Quiet Doctor

Ken Watanabe, another fantastic actor, is handcuffed proverbially as the mousy Dr. Ishiro Serizawa. Having studied the MUTO kaiju for over a decade, knowing what he knows about it, he is remarkably useless, uttering dire consequences and displaying a posture and physical presence beneath him. Watanabe attempts to appear weak, slump shouldered and walking like his shoe laces are tied together.

As a long time fan of the Toho Godzilla, the only characters in the series of movies that were portrayed as meek were women, but that was more a product of the times. The scientists and doctors were a product of the Atomic Age, survivors of WWII, and fought to reclaim their national pride after losing the war. Watanabe looks like he should be a downtrodden fringe scientist, or a perpetual victim, not the head of a major project.

4. Monochroming

For the love of Cthulhu why is this a thing now? The entire movie is almost monochrome in it's grimdark saturation. This was done with Man of Steel, and is apparently becoming a thing. Why do we not like bright colors? One of the things that made Pacific Rim stand out as a kaiju movie was the fact that it was brightly colored. Everything is drab in Godzilla. The monsters, the cities, everything is the color of dustcloud drab.

5. Fat Godzilla

Tokusatsu is a form of live action special effects, and was one of the hallmarks of Godzilla and the kaiju in general, they were men in rubber suits stomping through miniature cities. This was done in contrast to stop-motion animation and other conventional western special effects. The new Godzilla is fat, a fat CGI mess that fails to wow, and fails to charm. There is no meaningful interaction between him and any other character, and is presented with the same gravitas as a well known and respected Hollywood actor phoning in a performance on a movie they don't care about, but just want to collect a check. Godzilla doesn't get angry, doesn't demonstrate resolve, he smashed through San Francisco with the grace a tired pissed off guy who has to take out the trash before he can go home and have a crappy beer.

6. MUTO was stupid

From it's name (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism) to it's appearance, the enemy kaiju were just a mess. It's a parasite, Dr. Looks at his Shoes says, and there is a brief scene of gigantic bones, but parasites are typically much smaller than their hosts, even in their fully mature stage. This is like having a tape worm that eventually emerges from your dessicated husk 5 feet tall and only about 30% smaller than you. The MUTOs suffered from the same drabwashing as the rest of the film, and their ability to 'stomp' out EMPs was to me, painfully derivative of Leatherback's EMP from Pacific Rim. One of the other hallmarks of Godzilla was the rogue's gallery of monsters Godzilla fought, and the MUTOs are simply just not worthy to be put in the pantheon with Rodan, Mothra, Baragon, Ghidorah, and the rest.

7. Inconsistent

I couldn't tell you what sort of movie Godzilla wanted to be. It wasn't quite an action movie, it never really went over the top. It wasn't a thriller or paranoia type movie, as nothing really seemed surprising and all of the scenes that were supposed to be dramatic telegraphed ahead that they were coming. Watching the movie I wasn't excited, I wasn't nervous, I didn't experience any emotional reaction to it, which made me really sad, because I wanted this movie to be awesome the same way that I wanted the last Godzilla to be awesome.

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