Melee Weapons
16 Votes


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Comments: 29
Ideas: 0
Rating: 2.5625
Condition: Normal
ID: 683


January 19, 2007, 10:50 am

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The Steel Cathexis


A potent tool of battle for a confident warrior.

A full fathom long and massively built, the Steel Cathexis is an imposing piece. While usually intimidated by the mammoth blade, characters of a martial persuasion are strangely drawn to it and greatly desire it for themselves.

The lore surrounding the Steel Cathexis is well known, if not entirely understood. Many scholars have had boastful warriors intrude into their offices, showing off their incredible new enchanted weapons, hoping for some explanation of their powers. These sages dutifully record the find for posterity’s sake. These men of letters have been able to divine the sword’s arcane properties, but never the magnetic appeal this weapon clearly has to its owners. They only note the unusual boorishness of those bringing it in for inspection.

While not bearing the elaborate filigrees or meticulously cut gemwork of the lavish court-swords favored by aristocrats, the Steel Cathexis is an ostentatious weapon. From the girthsome hilt to the half-foot wide blade, this gargantuan edifice looks simply too massive to be anything but ornamental. While constructed mostly of simple drop-forged steel and bearing a cord-wrapped hilt, a perfunctory examination of this apparently simple weapon reveals thin veins of amethyst running throughout the metal. The surface of the blade glistens with an oily sheen.

Only when a character grasps the ropey hilt firmly in his hands does the true virtue of this tool of war become apparent. The Steel Cathexis pulsates with energy; it is shockingly well balanced, and its supple grip offers precise control. More than a few wielders have been heard to remark that the elephantine blade felt like an extension of their bodies.

Anyone who holds the sword can’t wait to let it swing in battle. Sometimes a wielder of the Steel Cathexis will make a distasteful wager with his comrades as to who will be the first to slay an infidel. Invariably, the beefy blade finds its way into an orc (or some such rapscallion) shortly thereafter. Of course, warriors both noble and base have charged into battle with their hands clenched around the sword’s hilt. While many demons have been brutally eviserated by the Steel Cathexis, several fair nymphs have been impaled on it as well.

At will the wielder can call forth from the terrible sword a mighty blast of molten hot magma. Although this spray is dangerous at range (and certainly a dramatic surprise for one’s foes), wielders of the Steel Cathexis have throughout history favored employing this potent ability while spiritedly cleaving the flesh of their victims. However, such an attack has an enervating and soporific effect on the wielder. Wise fighters save their energy for the climax of a battle.

Characters are unlikely to find this monstrous sword unattended, and any possessor would be loath to give it away as a gift or payment. Most likely it will be pried from the dead fingers of a narrowly bested foe.

Magical Properties:

Whosoever owns this sword soon grows to love it, and in turn loves himself for wielding it. By merely grasping the hilt the owner stirs potent feelings within himself. This pride manifests itself in the most obnoxious ways.

Any owner hates to keep the blade in its sheath, and will brandish it at the slightest provocation. In social situations, he will draw the blade and expound on its virtues to a bored (or sometimes frightened) audience. If the situation dictates that drawing a sword would be wholly inappropriate, it will nonetheless seem to throb at his side, and he might compulsively flick the hilt, exposing an inch or so of the blade before quickly pushing it back into the scabbard.

When the owner is alone he will take great pleasure in polishing his sword. This accounts for the piece’s ever-present oily sheen.

Needless to say, for an owner obsessed with the Steel Cathexis, breaking or losing the sword would feel like losing part of himself. He will become paranoid and guard it jealously even while proudly displaying it. In a melee, he would feel reluctant to use the sword against a foe that seems to pose an especially serious threat.

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Comments ( 29 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

August 25, 2005, 5:58
And... what is its history then? Players don´t have to know, the GM should.
Cheka Man
August 25, 2005, 9:25
The lava thing seems a bit munchkinish-I'd have it limited just as the bullets in a pistol are limited.I also want to know who made it and why before I vote.
Voted GleepwurpTheEyebiter
August 25, 2005, 21:07
I'm unconcerned as to the lack of history. I think this item is awesome. Good work Finger Master, I love your massive sword.
Voted Agar
August 26, 2005, 3:53
Why are people voting this high? STOP

A final fantasy - esque REALLY BIG SWORD, that has artifact possession from lord of the rings.

Damn, how original.

Let's add up your points:

Thought given to item and subission: +1
Spelling and grammer is good: +1
Lack of Orignallity: -1
Lack of Backstory: -1
Munchkin : -1
Lack of a Curse: -1

If you're going to curse something, CURSE IT! "The sword, you see, it's ~evil~ because it makes you want to USE IT!"

WHAT?! Damn, I'm glad this isn't an abrasive personal lubricant!

Overall, you get a -2 ... But since I can't do that, I have to give you a one, and write up either a large sword or a cursed item that's better than yours.
August 26, 2005, 3:57
For what it's worth, I have a sneaking suspicion that Gleeworp and Finger are connected in some manner.
August 26, 2005, 12:49
Normally I wouldn't go ahead and defend someone elses weapon for them, but since your comments about how the people that voted high are stupid and can't recognize originality (or lack thereof), I feel obligated to defend my vote.

Lack of a curse? It warps the bearer's personality so that it s/he wants to use it (e.g. acts of senseless violence), becomes obsessed with it, and even becomes reluctant to render his party full assistance (for fear he might damage or lose his sword). That sounds pretty cursed to me (it causing bad outcomes to occur as an intentional part of the weapon). It opens up and even provokes roleplaying from the PCs, which is the mark of any good item (particuarly one with a curse). What would you prefer? It's cursed and tries to strangle the user and eat his right arm? Lots of roleplaying potential there...

Munchkin? I don't see anything in there that makes it munchkin, except maybe the magma attack, which seems to be a rare one, given the draining effect it has on the user. All we get from the description is that it's a strong sword, a mighty tool of battle, but as for how mighty, that would seem to be up to you. I can see how the description would make you think that it was powerful, though, and something that you might want to have.

I'll grant it doesn't have a backstory, but then again, most items won't have a backstories. They'll have been made by someone long forgotten for reasons that the PC's will likely never discover (you're dealing with adventurers, not archeologists).

I don't think it's a ripoff of Cloud's BusterSword, nor do I think that it bears any great resemblance to Tolkien's One Ring, except insofar as the BusterSword is large and the One Ring has an effect on the user. The qualities of both are, in my mind, suprisingly different.

A final thought -- this is a forum of ideas -- that only works if everyone gets to put their ideas out (such as me saying I like this sword) without worrying about other self-righteous, rude ingrates telling me that my opinoin doesn't matter. So you should worry about your own vote, the fact that you value spelling (though what is a subission?) as much as originality, and the two new items that you promised us, (the better sword and the better curse) and stop telling me how to vote. Thanks much.
August 26, 2005, 13:51
I agree with Monument, and I don't like his "cut and paste a puzzle off the internet" style. Two of Finger's submission are garbage, utter crap, and then there's this one, atriculate and thought out. Either it's cut and pasted, or he's got split personalities where one has an iq of 180, and the other 18.

Finger and Eyebiter sure post an awful lot alike too.

To keep the constructive critisim up:

There's is no downside to this curse. That makes it not a curse. Period. They will want to use the sword that rips magma up from the earth. Duh, that's why they picked the damn thing up.

Munchkin. How the hell are you arguing a sword that rips magma up from the earth with no ill effects ISN'T Munchkin?

Backstories, their nice, they're good when they're there, but they aren't nessecary. They help if it's a unique item, so we can get a fuller and more complete feel for them, but when it's something like canteen stones, you don't really need a backstory when you have a canteen. A sword that rips magma up from the earth, well, we'd like an explination.

Big sword, fancy graphics. Yup. Final Fantasy. Didn't know the name of the sword till you mentioned it, but I'm not a fanboy. Tolkien's ring was the original, as they often are for most all fantasy, and this item has the same effect as the ring.

And of course they have different qualities, but if you weld the one ring on Cloud's sword, badaboom, you still don't have as cheesy a sword as this.

"self righteous, rude ingrates"? Check my ratings on my submissions, quit voting on your own with different accounts, and shush.
Finger Master
August 26, 2005, 14:30
A few remarks:

Firstly, let's judge ideas on their merits, not on bizarre conspiracy theories. That's the mark of the true philosopher. Think, "What would Picard post?"

Agar was woefully in err when he maligned the Cathexis.
In the spirit of not being specific about degrees of power (no +3 items and so on), I chose to leave those details up to a GM, so the item can be tailored to the level of the party. As for the backstory, again the GM has some discretion here, although I insinuated that while the loremasters of the world are aware of the item's history of owners, they aren't that interested in knowing everything about it (i.e., like Agar, they fail to understand the appeal). For those who would prefer to cut and paste things into their campaigns with minimal customization, refer to a Dungeon Master's Guide or something.

On the accusation of unoriginality, I would respond that while the Final Fantasy series has generated its share of giant swords (gunblade, buster sword, masamune, etc.), history is rife with examples as well (flamberges, claymores, and so forth). Ditto with almost all fantasy RPGs. This suggests that there is some sort of elemental appeal of giant swords, which apparently is lost on Agar.

As for the curse, unhealthy fixations on objects, while often socially crippling, are much more general than the curse of Tolkien's famous ring, which was intelligent and malicious.

The major ability of the Cathexis has been sloppily misinterpreted. The sword does not rend the earth to bath foes in hot magma. Read the post: the hot liquid is discharged from the blade itself. This is not an ability to be used all willy-nilly.

Now, perhaps Agar has never blasted a hapless succubus with molten magma, but I assure you all, it is exhausting. Only a warrior of consummate stamina would be able to mount such an attack more than once in your average battle.

Mainly, I think this is a case of sword envy. But really, I'm not surprised. After all, looking at Agar's recent post, he is more of a purse-wielder.
August 26, 2005, 14:45
Please ask the administrator to check IPs, email addresses, aim names, locations, or take even some basic measures to verify that we are the same person before accusing me of violating the forum rules. Because we have similar writing styles you've decided we're the same person, with little or nothing else to go on. Please, next time verify your accusations in at least some manner before you present them.

Tolkien's ring doesn't make people inherently violent (only when someone tries to steal it) whereas this sword makes people want to pick fights simply so they can display it and use it; Tolkien's ring stirs a desire to conceal itself from others, whereas this sword makes the user want to show it prominently; the ring doesn't create a bond between the user and the item that could possibly be called love (Tolkien's ring is an item of jealousy and covetedness), whereas this item is almost masturbatory in its affect on the user -- self-gratifying, reinforcing, etc.; they both shape the user's personalities, but it radically different ways. If anything, this sword resembles Aragon's Blade of the North, which he seldom shuts up about.

"Munchkin. How the hell are you arguing a sword that rips magma up from the earth with no ill effects ISN'T Munchkin?" I'm not. Read the posts above to find its ill-effects (it drains the user, leaving him sucked dry, it makes the user belligerent and violent unnecessarily, etc.).

Finally, the reason I call you rude is because I've been trying to have a conversation with you about what you think is wrong with the sword, and you ignore my points, make sarcastic comments without provocation, call me a "fan boy," accuse me of violating the forum rules by having two different accounts, and then tell me to shut up. So please, conduct yourself a bit more politely.
August 26, 2005, 15:24
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

As the original person to make claim that the two are "connected", I feel it's necessary to make something clear. I used the word "connected" very specifically. I think that you two are friends or something, probably in the same campaign, and more than willing to fellatialize each other's posts.

This ISN'T about "rules" per se, it's about propriety. Since I believe you are simply "friends" with each other(and not the same person), of course the IPs and such are going to be different, but that's not the point. You're judging the posts of each other as if you were friends, and NOT as if you are providing TRUE constructive criticism.

By any standard, even my admittedly uncreative standards, both of your respective posts are EXTREMELY lacking in anything worthy of a high vote.

You will get out of this process precisely what you put into it, and right now, you guys aren't putting very much effort into the process, so it's going to be difficult for either of you to get anything valuable OUT of the process.
Barbarian Horde
August 27, 2005, 11:34
Captain Penguin steps from his hiding place among the Horde!

Okay, back off, back off now. Disengage. We need this to quit before we have a full-blown flame-war. No item requires this much argument, and if you ARE going to argue about it, you might as well make it hilariously bad, while this item is merely mediocre.
Voted CaptainPenguin
August 28, 2005, 4:11
That was me, by the way.
Barbarian Horde
September 1, 2005, 21:03
It's clearly a WANG!
September 1, 2005, 23:59
What a contribution to this conversation.
Ancient Gamer
September 2, 2005, 3:02
Pax internetana:
There has been a couple of flame war-ish discussions lately. This is one of those. I can confirm that Gleewurp and Finger master does indeed have vastly different IPs though they often seem to log on simultaneously and agree a lot. That is no crime however.
September 2, 2005, 18:57
Wait, what did that have to do with Finger and Gleep? It was the Horde giving us a random comment, wasn't it?
September 3, 2005, 1:09
*Points to his posts above*

See me saying they're the same person? That is what Ancient was debunking. Finger does seem to have a gross disparity in the qualities of his posts, but he is apparently not the same person as Eyebiter. My bad.

I still think this sword is Munchkin, but I've let the flame war die, even with flame bait like platnium hubcap necklaces are getting posted.
Barbarian Horde
September 4, 2005, 1:02
What I did find engaging were the middle stanzas,
especially the fourth one.
I like the image of clouds flying like lozenges
which gives me a very clear picture.
And I really like how this drawbridge operator
just appears out of the blue
with his feet up on the iron railing
and his fishing pole jigging (I like jigging)
a hook in the slow industrial canal below.
I love slow industrial canal below. All those Ls.
September 4, 2005, 2:48
I think that's the most cohesive post ever made while overdosing on crack.

Good work Horde!

September 4, 2005, 2:56
I know that I, for one, am speechless. ;)
Voted Mourngrymn
November 23, 2005, 11:02
While I can see where the rest of the comments have gone I will not repeat what they say. I will say that most of the points i have given are from the way the submisison was written.

The few things that are lacking in it have been stated so I wont continue on that avenue of remarks.

The idea has purpose and promise, but needs ot be cleaned up a bit to rid itself of some of the bad aspects of it.
Voted MoonHunter
May 19, 2006, 15:55
This comment must start with a quote:

To paraphrase The Princess Bride "It is quite lovely really (talking about the fireswamp), I mean I would not want to build a summer home here, but really ..."

This is a much maligned weapon. It is really not that bad, nor it is awsome. The write up was clear and consistant. It did not quote the advantages and disadvantages of the weapon, but simply applied them (the good balance, energy in the weapon vs the obsession over blade). It has no history to speak of, but it is a "type of weapon" as there are dozens, if not hundreds of them flying about. Do we care who invented the door hinge? Nah, we just use it as appropriate. The same with this. Still is in not a HoH kind of post (IMO), but still worthier than the crap heaped upon it.
May 19, 2006, 17:22
I honestly think it's lame.
Cheka Man
May 19, 2006, 17:33
Without the Munchkin taint of spitting lava, it would be quite good.
Voted Wulfhere
February 1, 2007, 17:56
The Steel Cathexis most resembles a parody of all those massive, clumsy swords featured in modern fantasy, not just video games. I've always been scornful of characters in comic books, gaming art, or miniatures that wield absurdly large weapons; this item is the perfect punishment for that "bigger is better" image.

I like it; I can picture some powerfully-thewed barbarian waving around his treasured weapon at the slightest provocation, eager to show off his clumsy-looking blade.

It would benefit from more background information: It seems too powerfully enchanted to be a commonplace item, as a previous commentor had suggested. I picture a master weaponsmith, a grizzled curmudgeon brusquely ordered to produce a weapon so stoutly constructed that it would be virtually impervious to battle damage. Aggravated by his patron's tone, he decides to craft a weapon as lethal and desirable as it is homely...
Voted Cheka Man
February 1, 2007, 18:25
Only voted
Voted valadaar
February 1, 2007, 18:34
Given many of the other posts which get beaten on, this one is not so bad, and I like some of the description.

"While not bearing the elaborate filigrees or meticulously cut gemwork of the lavish court-swords favored by aristocrats, the Steel Cathexis is an ostentatious weapon."

Basically, I agree with Moonhunter on this one. Gasp.
Voted Scrasamax
September 1, 2012, 10:35
The best part about this submission is the name of the sword, the steel cathexis. A cathexis is a psychoanalytical term representing an object invested with libido or sexual energy. The original term was used in reference to the pumping of steam engines contemporary to Freud's time period. So the steel cathexis is quite literally a metal penis spewing hot (lava) goo all over the place.
October 17, 2013, 11:39
And the summary reinforces this. The Barbarian Horde called it!

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