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Items
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Magical
 
Public Draft
1.33
9 Votes

-13xp


Hits: 4794
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Rating: 1.3333
Condition: In Work (public)
ID: 491

Submitted:

Updated:
October 30, 2005, 5:53 pm

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Shadows Revenge

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This cloak is a thiefs best friend, especially when he has the other 2 pieces of the collection, for it gives the wearer supernatural bonuses to sneaking and hiding.

This looks to be a normal black cloak.

This hooded cloak would be a very valued item among thiefs, if they could find it. It once belonged to a thief who tried to sneak into the underdark and steal from a matron mother of a drow house. When he was caught he was stripped of his belongings and tortured in a drow dungeon, he may still be down there. A drow male, who first saw the thief and took the cloak for his own, lost the cloak on an unsuccessful surface raid, to kill a group of surface elves. It is said to still be lost somewhere but no one knows where.

Magical Properties:

+30 to hide

+10 to move silently

+2 to Devterity while the owner wears the cloak

The wearer can hide in plain site without the need of shadows (see the Dungeon Masters Guide for D&D: Prestige class Shadow Dancer)

The owner must be of an evil alignment to wear this cloak or he/she suffers a loss of 2 levels, which cannot be undone untill he/she takes off the cloak.



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Comments ( 7 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Shadoweagle
June 10, 2004, 21:13
0xp
Quite a simple item, and cloaks of hiding are fairly common, unless Im mistaken. Though, if this were given a good background and a more in-depth description I think it could do well. One thing, however - posts in the citadel are supposed to be non-system, so people can adapt it to whatever they wish. please keep it in mind in the future :)

Don't be discouraged, however - keep trying, and im sure you'll make some great items before long. Perhaps looking at some of our 5-rated items will give an idea on the depth and detail needed to get a good mark.

2/5
CaptainPenguin
June 11, 2004, 2:00
0xp
Eins: WE AREN'T D&D! No D&D, Nairo. Actually describe what it does instead of giving us some canned statistics that really mean nothing.

Zwei: Boring background. Boring boring background. By the way, why is it called "Shadow's Revenge"?

2/5.
EchoMirage
June 11, 2004, 17:07
0xp
'cause the name is 'kewl' I guess - why aint there any "Full Plate of Standing out Slightly Less"? why is always a cloak good for hiding?
In Baldur's Gate, there were 3 cloaks of Various Degree of Hiding. And they too were no that original.

And yes, I strongly dislike DnD - not that it affects my rating of this item the least...
but according to 3rd ed, it is TERRIBLY overpowered.
Agar
June 11, 2004, 17:29
0xp
See above, but witout the multiple personalities.

It has the beginning of a story, but needs more detail, like why was he stealing from a matron mother of a drow house? Was he just stupid? How did this cloak come into being anyway?

1/5
Ylorea
June 18, 2004, 3:59
0xp
The item is not only overpowered (+30 on hide means most monsters will need to roll 20 on a D20 to see you), but it also is quite useless in most campaings, since you need to be of evil allignment to use the cloak.

Yours,

Ylorea
Ria Hawk
August 25, 2004, 21:14
0xp
If it was so good, how the hell did he get caught in the first place, hmm?
Pariah
January 25, 2006, 22:31
0xp
It's simple really. He tripped and landed on the drow matrons toes, on his back. So instead of just killing him for trespassing they are torturing him for looking up the High Mother's skirts.


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

the dead mechent of death

       By: celticring

To Dougles Nye money is power, a powerful wizard only newly into lich-hood

Originally the son of servants to a noble family, yet he found that life humiliating. "How could anyone stand to serve another?" he often wondered. His father, was a greedy man who offered an explanation one day “It’s all for the coin, every demanding, humiliating thing. It’s for the coin, boy."

So when Dougles began developing the potential for magic, he found a way out of a life of servitude. Learning magic though stolen books, he made his escape. Taking the all the possessions of the lord’s vaults with him. He set out to gain as much money as possible.

His gifts for magic allowed him many advantages other merchants could only dream of. Capitalized on the use of deviation magic, allowing him to always having what the city he is in needs most, whether that is wheat or weapons, poison or drug doesn’t matter to him.

Some would say he follows war, disease, famine, and political strife like a vulture looking for a nice carcass to claim. What they don’t know is he has a hand in the conflict he supposedly follows. Assassinating ruler to incite wars, casting spells that decimating crops, acting as an information broker to both sides in a conflict. Dougles is known as a man who can get what you need to some, to other a monster who capitalizes on the suffering of others.

The lich know as Dougles Nye, prefers the title ”The Merchant of Death” for that shows just how much power money has earned him.

Ideas  ( NPCs ) | January 7, 2010 | View | UpVote 5xp


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