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July 2, 2015, 7:47 pm

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Excerpts from Lockwhistle’s Adventurer’s Companion for Beginners


Lizard-bulls and Bull-lizards; a quick comparison for all those who still don’t get it.

These two vastly different species are constantly misnamed for one another and confused by those adventurers who tend to be easily confused. To settle the matter as a record of reference for those who need such things, I offer a brief synopsis on two creatures that would not otherwise appear in any manual on the same page.

Lizard-bulls are scaly reptilian behemoths, shaped rather like bovine, and sporting curved, wicked horns. They prefer fetid swamps. Their flesh is resistant to most weapons, their nostrils steam forth poisonous fumes and their random violent attacks are to be avoided whenever possible. These beasts have been known to devour adventurers whole. Beware as well, their epic screeches!

Bull-lizards are tiny gecko-like reptiles with miniscule horn-like protuberances. These are used mainly during mating season when the otherwise harmless little lizards square off against each other amidst the sands, oblivious to everything around them. Their favored habitat is dry steppe. They feed on thorny shrubbery and avoid all hostile threats by running away as fast as their little legs can carry them. Their powdered little horns sell for good coin among alchemists.

Refer to above whenever unsure of which creature you are facing.

Additional Ideas (1)

Let me once again address the differences between these often and sometimes tragically confused names, so that needless bloodshed can be avoided by the confused adventurer.

I will just say if forced to pick between the two as adversaries, I would have to think on it for a half-minute but probably take my chances with the big dumb birds.


A gigantic but rather harmless bird. Well, mostly harmless. The truth is it is rather dangerous. It is after all a gigantic bird so caution should be used during encounters. Literally the size of oxen these creatures act in every way as their mundane tiny cousins. Why they exist is anyone's guess. We can only hope this was not yet another one of those "wizard's experiment gone awry", or worse, a "practical joke of the gods." If every one of these (thankfully rare), dive-bombing, cottage-crushing behemoths were exterminated, the world would be a safer place for adventurers.

Unlike their (much) lesser cousins who utilize speed and quick strikes to hunt insects, Ox-swallows seem to rely on their obnoxious strength and brute force to hunt, well, anything that looks edible to their fist-sized soulless, shining-black eyes!


Fearsome chieftain and war-leader of the Tribe of the Great Boast, Swallow-Ox earned her name, and should never be confused with an Ox-Swallow.

This giant of a woman was said to have swallowed an entire roasted ox in a single gulp. The truth of the matter is that she probably ate a whole haunch of ox quickly, or perhaps a huge portion of ox in one sitting, but we will never know for sure. Regardless, this earned her name and eventually her position. Well that and the fact that her ferocity in battle is unmatched, as her skill with the long-axe unrivaled. Swallow-Ox commands four hundred mustached (the women as well), axe and shield wielding berserkers, and should be avoided at all costs. Unless your are planning a war, in which case know that the tribe of the Great Boast are willing mercenaries. Swallow-Ox always demands payment in gold.


2015-06-18 10:17 PM » Link: [7630#94297|text]
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Comments ( 7 )
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November 28, 2013, 2:33
Not enough for a sub...sigh.
November 28, 2013, 5:01
I found the format used to present this idea appealing- reminds me of the Forgotten Realm books starring a travel novelist as the main protagonist but written a notch better. Maybe you could revisit this and turn it in a proper sub when you have some more snippets along the same lines and then you can change the title to Excerpts rather Excerpt. Or maybe you could turn this into a Wiki if you can't seem to let it go as a stub (Wiki Duo at it again, what is it with me and you together? It's becoming like every second correspondence b/w us involves a Wiki somehow)
November 28, 2013, 12:58
re-opened it as collab! Go, Moonlake, go! :)
November 28, 2013, 8:31
I came here for the title, wasn't what I expected.
November 28, 2013, 12:06

sorry to disappoint lol

January 23, 2014, 14:51
Hmm, this would work as a vehicle for introducing various creatures on the site from a different perspective of the current subs.

I don't have a good one to add at the moment, but it certainly has potential!

January 23, 2014, 15:10

Thanks lol This just started as a joke...a dumb barbarian/new pc kept confusing lizard-bulls with bull-lizards. One is huge and nasty, one is tiny and harmless :P Lockwhistle offers a tongue-in-cheek primer for the braincells-challenged.

Another one was going to be a short primer on: How can you tell if the "book" you're holding is an evil magic item, as opposed to a regular book. And so on...

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