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NPCs
Major
Political
1.78
9 Votes

-4xp


Hits: 5341
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Rating: 1.7778
Condition: Normal
ID: 1057

Submitted:

Updated:
October 29, 2005, 2:49 pm

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Eragor Erunk

By:

Isssss It Wrong To Dissscriminate Usssss?- Eragor Erunk

Special Equipment:

Two scimitars with a special kind of metal made by the trolls in the north.

Appearance:

He has only his two scimitars strapped across his back with his skin scaled, nudity is nothing to the Lizardfolk in the Kazak Desert who wear nothing, but their skin and swords.
His scales are a light brown with his eyes a pale yellow and needle like teeth, and his head with a wolf-like snout. He has a three foot long tale with his arms usually short with his legs long, making him able to leap several meters.

Background:

  Born in a small cave with his 1 twin brother, he grew up as the heir to become the tribal leader of the Serpent Tribe. He lead small raids against other Lizardfolk, fighting in tribal warfare and leading raids against the elves along the edge of the Kazak Desert.
   Eragor Erunk led his fellow Lizards and conqured much more Tribal Territory then they had ver had until they had almost eliminated all other tribes in the area and ruled most of the desert. That was the time when the elves started to encroach upon the borders of his territory and Eragor called out open war on Abasil. Abasil responded by sending an army of 7,000 Holy Empire Troops against them.

   Eragor led his armies, and with books he had read of strategy, he fought the armies training his men to fight in formation and ranks. But he could not against the seasoned Abasil Troops who had fought in formation for almost 10,000 years. Early in the war, defeat was everywhere, but then Eragor started using hit-and-run tactics and this is when the casualties of elves went up.

   The last battle of the war was in the valley surrounded by sand dunes. 2,000 Abasil men marched into the valley and Eragor snared his trap. He surrouned them on the dunes and proceeded to fire vollies of arrows and spears into the elves. He then ordered the charge and they flooded over the elves, slaughtering them as they went.

   A month later, Abasil withdrew all it’s forces out of the Kazak Desert, but did not recognize the desert as a separate country. Now Eragor strives to show it as a separate nation and still leads raids against villages near the desert

Roleplaying Notes:

He is a strong minded leader, who has the ability of to decieve and silently kill.



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Comments ( 7 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Barbarian Horde
November 26, 2004, 20:59
0xp
-Too short.
-Needs better explanation of the warfare and his heroics.
-Needs a more detailed description of his personality. Right now he has none, other than being able to leap several meters, lead armies and slaughtering elves.
-Twin scimitar wielding is a cliché.
-If the weapons are made of a rare metal and by Northern trolls they might deserve better detail.
CaptainPenguin
November 26, 2004, 22:17
0xp
Exactly as above.
In addition, what does "Isssss It Wrong To Dissscriminate Usssss" have to do with this character? It isn't even in character- the comment seems to say that the elves were correct in 'discriminating' which they never did, according to your story.

2/5.
EchoMirage
November 27, 2004, 3:12
0xp
Rare metal from northern trolls, where a lizardman would freeze his buttocks off. Very credible.
He's not a person now, just a generic aggressive lizard.
Whatabout the impact his twin brother had (to have) on his life?

Bland.
Sentinel
December 2, 2004, 18:44
0xp
Yes very. Wanted to go for something different from the a human or elf and it is my first try at something new. Will update in future
Maggot
December 2, 2004, 22:40
0xp
You have to paint us a picture of the mentality of the lizardfolk.If you look at my Ehshal or eel-men,you will see that I try to make them easier to understand by describing their culture and beliefs.This goes a long way to making a true person out of someone who would otherwise just be a bizzare amphibian life form.Hope this helps.
Voted MoonHunter
November 7, 2005, 23:06
0xp
I really want to rate this higher. I do. But, every pretty much is right. It is too short and too underdeveloped. It is the kernal of a great idea. But now nope.
Voted valadaar
May 8, 2013, 9:44
0xp
A germ of an idea here.


Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

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Ideas  ( Society/ Organization ) | August 21, 2006 | View | UpVote 1xp


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