Kaboo is an average old man. He is skinny and frail, with a balding pate, a beak of a (usually runny) nose, and arthritic limbs. His left leg is particularly lame, having been mangled in a dockside accident during his youth.
Gladdys, his wife, is a short, rosy-cheeked matron of indeterminable age. She is somewhat paunchy but with a look of good general health about her.
Dimwit is a fat, homely young man, with patchy, sandy blonde hair, and dull brown cow-eyes. He has stained yellow-brown teeth, due to all his constant tobacco chewing. In fact, as Kaboo says, if he had four legs, he would resemble a cud-chewing bovine!
Not much to tell here. Kaboo’s claim to fame is that he was born, lives, and will probably die in the same house on the same street, called, Olyphant’s Foot Road, in the capital city of Marsuth. He is proud to tell anyone who will listen, that his great, great, great, great grandfather and every paternal figure since, was born, lived and died, in this very same house. Gladdys is Kaboo’s better half. She is always seeing the bright side of things, while Kaboo tends to be a tad melodramatic, and blames everyone but himself, including ‘the fates’ for his meager existence. They met in an inn, and once they started chatting, destiny stepped in, and the two tattlers fell in love. Sadly, they soon learned that they couldn’t have children, but fate intervened again, delivering them a lummox of a nephew on their doorstep.
absolutely nothing special
Kaboo is Marsuth’s greatest rumormonger. Gladdys is likewise a gossip extraordinaire. Together they are a fountain of useful, and oftentimes useless information. Kaboo knows everyone. He has friends among the dockworkers, has acquaintances in every guild house, and is on good terms with every innkeeper in town. No one minds having Kaboo milling round, he’s harmless after all, so he is welcome everywhere and has the peculiar, singular, talent of overhearing everything and anything. No tidbit ever escapes Kaboo’s ears.
Gladdys as well has, seemingly, the same relationship with every married woman in town, excluding the noble class, or the “higher-ups” as she calls them. Teatime with Gladys, is an institution among the middle class and lower class ladies of Marsuth. Gladdys doesn’t discriminate. If a woman is capable of speech, Gladdys wants to talk to her! When Kaboo cant pickup any good “chant” as he calls it on the streets, he simply goes home to Gladdys, and she begins to spin her tales about what she learned that day, and from whom she learned it.
Dimwit, as he’s called, since no one knows his real name, is Kaboo’s and Gladdys’ nephew. He told them he couldn’t remember his own name, when as a twelve year old he showed up at the little corner house at the end of Olyphant’s Foot Road. Now, ten years later, he just might be the dumbest man in Marsuth. He came to live with the couple, after his mother (Gladdys’ sister), slipped in her bathtub, and cracked her skull open in a tragic accident. To this day, Kaboo chides Dim-Wit, that she fell and broke her head on purpose, out of shame of having reared such a buffoon. Dimwit isn’t bothered by Kaboo’s insults. He doesn’t care about anything really, except drinking, chewing his tobacco, and waiting for days to turn to nights, just so he can begin the same routine the next day. He also enjoys aunt Gladdys’ cooking, and it shows.
Kaboo drags Dim-Wit everywhere and uses him as his listening device, since Kaboo is incapable of not talking about something, somewhere, or someone for more than a few minutes at a time. And so it goes…If you come to Marsuth, and want ANY kind of information, no sage or barkeep can tell you more than Kaboo. He’s not hard to find either. Everyone knows him, and he can usually be seen in any number of taverns, sitting across the table from his nephew, talking. Dimwit usually stays quiet, but once in a while will interrupt to ask or say something stupid or inappropriate.
“Conversations with my Dim-Witted Nephew”
Crows and Ravens
Down At The Docks
Deep In The Mine
The Lucky Ranger