Jazlin has several forms, including a young girl, an old woman, and her true form (a young women (in her twenties)) but in each of these forms she has raven black hair and dark, kind, eyes. Unless in her true form she appears weak and helpless, as a test. Only in her true form is her majesty seen, her hair and dress fan out as if blown by an undetectable wind, she appears to float, and her feet hover at least a centimeter above the ground.
She is a powerful healer and some kind of mystical/religious figure, for example if your game includes the christian religion she could be a saint, or if it is based on greek/roman mythology she could be some kind of lesser goddess. If your game has no religion than she could be a powerful magician. She would have died before she was even born but was saved by intervention from a powerful force, and even as a small child she was dedicated to helping people, which she has done for centuries. Her greatest fear is that there will be someone she is not able to save, or that she will save the wrong one and cause greater harm to the world, it is from this fear that she became so illusive, although she will always help the innocent. She cannot be found any where in your game world as she exists on another plane of existence, if you wish she can appear if called or come in times of need. She also goes by the names Jazzy and Jazrelin.
She has her hands and a magical amulet, it has blue and silver swirls and hangs around her neck, it can magnify a character's power(s)(magical, super, other) one-hundred fold.
She may seem a bit too powerful(as she can heal the dead even), so it is up to the game master to put limits on her as they see fit. She is meant to come in in dire times, and help out when there is need. I have added the fear thing to keep her from just jumping in all of the time. It would also make an interesting scenario if she were to test your player's characters by acting like someone weak and in need of help.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I really hope you like Jazlin, I would appreciate it if you'd comment on her for me. Thanks—-Ruthie
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? Responses (5)-5
Updated: I think I may have put her in the wrong influence catigory.
I like the post, and you did a great job with formatting and spelling/grammer. By making little sections you were able to give us a lot of details about the character. You gave different ways of incorporating her (with different or no religions) and you did not flood the post with game-specific terms (+X to whatever) both of which are also good. If there were one thing I would say to work on it is to make the character more original. Many healers are beautiful, many beneficient powerful beings appear weak to test people - that doesn't mean it's not okay to use these stereotypes... they get used because people like them. But if you can come up with a new idea, that's even better. For example, good people and healers are often beautiful and bad people and monsters are often ugly. Why? Do we think this is how life is? It's convention, but that makes it lazy. When was the last time you heard about the ugly lady who became a healer because she realized she was not popular for her looks, so she had to be really nice. And then maybe a powerful spiirit rewarded her for persevering instead of just being jealous, and enhanced her power.
So, in summary, it's a GREAT first post, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from you.
Thanks, The categories actually came with the form for submitting NPCs, though. Oh, and the game specific terms make my head spin :-).
Not too bad a submission, but i do think it highly overpowered, no offense of course but i think it needs toning down a bit.
4/5 thats a rather high vote for only a small sub, which i think does need expanding on.
You have some really good potential here Ruthie, it just needs that last final tuning and toning down of the item.
Ok first sub though.
Well written, though she has be been generalized to a point where she lacks any real flavour.
Make her have reason and a personality beyond being a walking heal spell.