101 Alchemical Mishaps

Alchemical Mishaps

Alchemy is dangerous. Here are some outcomes from screwing up in the lab. Since Alchemy has strong Occult ties some of the effects can quite .. out there. For simple procedures, apply -10 or more. In cases where the outcome of the procedure - if there is still a product - either apply a 50% chance of success

Less than 1: No mishap.

1. A loud Poof heralds the arrival of an abysmal smell in the room. It could have been much worse.

2. A fairly expensive piece of glassware cracks - requires 10% of equipment cost to replace.

3. End product is a different state of matter than intended - Solid becomes Gas, Liquid becomes Solid, and Gas becomes liquid.

4. Product simply disappears without a trace.

5. Process appears to work, but in 1d6x1d6x1d6 minutes, the product explodes.

7. The Alchemist's hands become permanently stained Green.

8. A random piece of apparatus - say a spoon - becomes fools gold.

9. Unbeknownst to the Alchemist, an odor irresistible to cats (or rats) has been emitted and the lab will shortly be invaded by a horde of the creatures.

10. Unbeknownst to the Alchemist, they now emit an odor irresistible to cats (or rats).

11. All glassware becomes opaque.

12. Part of the apparatus explodes with a stunning loud crack. The item was rendered into powder, and all local items have been thrown onto the floor. 50% chance of another roll on this table as the stuff reacts.

13. Equipment rattles and jumps around noisily.

14. A loud FOOP and a brief but intense ball of fire engulfs the lab. Anything extremely flammable is ignited, and any exposed hair is burnt. Paper is singed but not ignited

15. Thick, dense black smoke pours from the apparatus and sinks to the floor immediately. Unless breathed directly (by lying down on the floor) it is harmless. Effect continues for six minutes.

16. All reagents used in the reaction turn to a hard, stonelike substance, likely ruining the equipment. This substance is shockingly resistant to chemicals.

17. Inexplicitly, the product turns out to be fine liquor, regardless of the intended product.

18. A retort begins to glow intense green light. Staring into the light too long has a chance of triggering a psychotic break in the viewer.

19. An undetectable - to humans at least - smell is emitted that triggers stark terror in animals. The radius of effect is 10’ per minute, stopping at 1 mile. Any animal in the radius will make every possible effort to flee. Those trapped are likely to injure themselves attempting to escape.

20. A malicious spark unerringly lands on important papers nearby and ignites them.

21. A malicious spark unerringly lands on the Alchemist and ignites their clothing.

22. Equipment erupts like a roman candle - multiple small blasts with glassware and tubing flying everywhere. Small chance any bystanders receive minor damage.

23. An item transmutes into mercury and runs all over the table.

24. Process fizzles, but no other visible consequence. The next product to be produced will have its potency quadrupled. If rolling on this table again due to failure, add 10 to the roll.

25. Process fizzles, and the equipment is heavily contaminated with sodium, which will explode nicely if the equipment is cleaned with water.

26. Liquid splashes out, dousing the Alchemist. A few minutes later, the Alchemist begins to glow. This glowing cannot be washed off and lasts for 8 days.

27. A most delicious aroma emanates from the experiment, and anyone the least bit hungry nearby will have a powerful compulsion to devour the components of the experiment. This desire is regardless of the suitability of the components for eating. Low intelligence beings and creatures will automatically attempt to devour the contents.

28. Grey smoke billows out. The effects of breathing the smoke is as per a random potion from your gaming system.

29. Procedure fails and the leftover product is highly, highly unstable, exploding if disturbed further.

30. Five nearby items composed of once-living animal tissue come to life and behave like its originating creature. Leather clothing can be affected. Should there be a corpse of any kind nearby, it will become animated and hostile.

31. An immensely bright flash and afterwards everything non-living in the room is covered with faint runes. Secrets might be revealed in these runes with enough careful study.

32. All used glassware takes on the consistency of rubber.

33. Water begins to bubble out of the apparatus uncontrollably. Eventually, 1 gallon per minute of chemically-tasting water pours out for 1-4 days. Better start bailing.

34. Product gains the side effect of becoming a contact poison of some type. If the product was intended to be poisonous, it instead becomes inert.

35. Huge masses of non-toxic foam billow out and fill the room, and several adjacent ones over time. When the foam settles, everything is covered by a sticky substance that can only be cleaned off with high quality alcohol or strong acid.

36. All non-living organic matter within 10’ is turned to ash in a bright flash of light.

36. Reality is distorted in a 30’ area centered on the apparatus - everything within resembles a Van Gogh painting. This effect is purely visual and lasts for 20 minutes, unless you are cruel.

37. It begins to rain heavily in the lab. The rain continues for 2 hours, heavy enough to cover the floor in a foot of water if it does not drain off.

38. All light within the lab is snuffed - even natural light from windows is blocked. The effect lasts for 1d6x1d6x1d6 hours, and there is a small chance that something wicked is summoned into the darkness.

39. Swams of Voracious Slugs begin piling out of the apparatus at a rate of 1 per minute until 1000 have emerged, or the apparatus is blocked or destroyed.

40. A flask becomes a very short-lived firework, propelled by its contents igniting and hurling across the lab to explode. The resulting smoke is toxic.

41. An invisible, unscented gas is emitted which causes splitting headaches to anyone who comes within 100’ of the lab. This effect, and the headache, lasts for 1d4+1 days.

42. Product and all equipment burns, however a pound of platinum can be found in the wreckage.

43. A flask explodes with a tremendously loud Boom. All glassware nearby is shattered, and all nearby beings are struck temporarily deaf.

44. All present become unbelievably foul smelling for 1d4 days. They gain no resistance to this odor.

45. Strange black smoke billows out of the equipment and begins forming ropy structures. Then the tendrils form shadowy serpent-like heads which then strike at anyone nearby. The bites are toxic of course. Choose your poison.

46. Your error summons 1d4 random imps, who will be at the very least, maliciously mischievous.

47. A small storm appears in the largest vessel used, and if open or opened, the cloud emerges and begins alternately raining, snowing, and throwing random lightning bolts that shock more than injure.

48. Apparatus becomes weightless for 2d4 hours.

49. A flash, and everything metal within 10’ becomes plated with a thin layer of silver.

50. A powerful magnetic flux hauls nearby metal objects into the apparatus with the force of a draft horse.

51. A small mote of energy emerges from a vessel and randomly targets a nearby object. The object becomes Awakened and runs/crawls/rolls away frantically, making odd squeaking noises as it does.

52. Boom! Entire set of apparatus is destroyed and the Alchemist is tossed 2d10 feet.

53. Spillage triggers mutation in nearby insects, increasing their size to Giant category, and of course these creatures will begin to wreak havoc. Note - this mutation breeds true.

54. A sturdy item heats up and glows incandescently. If the working service is wood, it burns. Metal could potentially melt. Heating lasts for 12 minutes.

55. Regardless of the original intent, the reaction produces an angry mendeleevian elemental from one the regents being used.

56. Vast volumes of foam pour out from the vessel, eventually engulfing everything in the lab, and potentially outside. It is sticky and unbreathable, and after twenty minutes, sets as hard as concrete.

57. Apparatus and products now emit light equivalent to full sunlight for 1d4 days, making it rather difficult to use the equipment.

58. Chemical becomes an immensely - perfect - solvent. Unfortunately, the apparatus is unable to contain it. It dissolves the bottom of the flask, the table, the floor and several miles of stone as it sinks out of sight. The hole is only the size of a coin however, so there is that.

59. Product and all regents become utterly chemically and magically inert.

60. A sphere of red-hot material flies out of the laboratory, bouncing randomly and igniting anything flammable it hits. It does this for ten minutes when it finally cools off and stops.

61. Roll twice on this table at -10.

62. A random piece of apparatus increases in size and weight by 400%.

62. All metal within 20’ transforms into copper.

63. 1d6x10% of lab equipment transforms into chickens.

64. Several pieces of equipment are coated with Creeping Wax.

65. Alchemist begins to swell uncontrollably until nearly spherical. This effect lasts 1d4 days and does not cause direct injury, however it becomes nearly impossible to do anything that requires movement.

66. Glass flask explodes and a massive shard shoots unerringly towards someone important. Unless stopped by magic or superhuman luck, does damage equal to a well wielded longsword. Critical damage in fact, if your system supports it. If the target is an NPC, they are killed as the fragment enters their eye and dents the back of their skull.

67. As 47, however, the power of the lightning bolts is much higher, and it’s hailstones strike like sling-stones.

68. Alchemist and anyone else present shrinks to 1/12 their original size for 1d6 hours.

69. An invisible gas that causes all metal within 200’ to severely corrode is released. The cloud will only slowly disperse and will severely damage even thick metal.

70. Alchemist and any present gain toxic touch and breath for 1d4 days. They are immune to poison for this duration but they also cannot control this effect.

71. A strong Contact Poison is scattered through the lab

72. One piece of lab equipment becomes sentient. It can talk, perceive as well as a human and will grant the alchemist a higher chance of success in future procedures. It also applies a -10 modifier to subsequent rolls on this table, with values less than 1 having no effect.

73. A deafening howl is emitted by the lab equipment for 1d4 days, so loud that everyone within a mile, regardless of intervening walls, can hear it.

74. Laboratory apparatus electrifies for a minute with a lethal current.

75. Everything not attached to a structure within 10’ is teleported somewhere on the ground 5 miles away.

76. Entire lab is moved 5 days into the future. To those not transported, the lab area is filled with impenetrable nothingness until the 5th day arrives.

77. A Mendelvian elemental pops out of the flask of whatever, regardless of the amount of whatever that flask originally held. It may be polite, or it may wish to send you to oblivion. Toss a coin.

78. The Alchemist or a bystander contracts a variety of Lycanthropy.

79. Experiment causes a flash of odd mauve light. After the flash, 1d4 Imps appear and cause havoc.

80. Apparatus overflows with a huge volume of acid, increasing to 1 gallon per minute. Stone is not dissolved, but anything metal or organic is. Acid will be produced for 1d4 hours.

81. Entire contents of the lab become animated and hostile, including the furniture and any components/regents. Having a supply of animated hostile Sulfuric Acid could be problematic.

82. Alchemist has a variant of the Midas Touch for 2d4 hours.

83. Entire apparatus assembles itself into a large construct possessed by a demon. It may have poison/acid/fire attacks depending upon what regents were in use at the time.

84. Experiment triggers a ferociously endothermic reaction and it draws immense amounts of heat from the locale. All beings nearby begin to take significant cold damage. Cooling lasts for 20 minutes, with the core of the reaction cold enough to produce dry ice.

85. 400’ radius cloud of Rage inducing gas produced, at 10’ radius/minute.

86. Alchemist or a bystander is rendered permanently invisible.

87. Equipment catches fire for 14 minutes, during which the light has the effect of a Magic Candle.

88. An odd smelling gas is emitted and spreads up to a mile radius. Any who breath it have a chance of acquiring some form of madness.

89. An angry Earth, Fire, Water or Air element is inadvertently offended by the experiment, and appears to kill the Alchemist and any others handy.

90. A horridly corrosive and toxic gas is emitted. It is also heavier than air and will fill up to 200’ square feet of space.

91. As 90, but anything beings slain by it rise as zombies that possess a corrosive touch attack.

92. Alchemist and another nearby being are physically merged.

93. Alchemist is transformed into an Elemental form. The process is not pleasant.

94. A hole appears nearby and a huge Alien arm reaches in and snatches all of the Apparatus, any nearby books, and 1d4 bystanders.

95. One being within 200’ implodes or spontaneously combusts.

96. An apparent Philosophers’ Stone is created. Whatever effects the Alchemist manages to obtain reverse when the stone vanishes 2d4 hours later.

97. Alchemist has 1d4 limbs simply disappear.

98. A terrible flame emerges and chars one nearby being into a blackened skeleton.

99. A great volume of invisible, scentless, tasteless, toxic gas is emitted. Small creatures die within ten seconds of exposure, larger creatures in thirty. Gas is the same density as air and will eventually cover a 400’ radius area.

100. Kabloowie!!! A massive explosion destroys everything within 30’ and shatters stonework for another 30’. Any open areas within 500’ experience shock waves powerful enough to toss an ogre.

101. Now you’ve done it. A hole in reality is torn open and vacuums up everything within 10’ to gods only know where. What's worse is the hole is getting bigger. Ok, it stops after 100’, but now the damn thing is moving. You had better find a Wizard to clean this mess up, or a God. Either case, better hurry before it goes somewhere important.

Of course, for game systems that include them, saving throws/resistance rolls should be available to players and important NPCs to avoid some of the more dangerous effects..