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Rating: 3.5
Condition: Normal
ID: 6775


June 6, 2012, 6:15 pm

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Tornado Hat


The tornado hat may look laughable to wear, but it's anything but funny when you're facing the tornado caused by such a hat. If using it, beware, do not spin for too long...

In the Old Times, shortly after the First Queen Inanna died, according to atheists, and was taken up to Heaven, according to followers of Inannaism, what was to become Vallermoore was a patchwork quilt of warring mini-states, none of them stable,all of them trying to swallow the others. One thing that did develop in those turbulent times were several new weapons of war, most of them either long out of use or banned nowdays by international treaties. One of the former was the fearsome but very impractical Tornado Hat. This strange piece of headgear is a helmet with a strong chinstrap, a wind sigal on the top and four long blades that look like a propeller. The reaction of many people who sees someone wearing one of these is to laugh. The helmet is heavy and too cumbersome to get through ordinary doors wearing it, but the first time it was used it was a very potent weapon of war, and tales about it have come down through the centuries.

Back then two small city states, Agenia and Numbria, were at loggerheads with each other, and Agenia had by far the larger army. Back then armies mainly fought in the now obselete phalanx formation, and Numbria's phalanx deployed on the other side of a river, with three soldiers wearing this hat, their swords at their sides. When the Agenian general saw this he ordered his phalanx to charge across the bridge. As the phalanx charged the three men began to spin, and around each man formed a deadly tornado, which the phalanx ran straight into before it could stop itself. Rank on rank of heavily armed and armoured men, unable to stop because of the charging men behind, were caught up in the tornados, spun around into the sky and then spat out high above, to break their bodies when they hit the ground below, or drown when they hit the river and their heavy bronze armour carried them to the bottom. Even those not sucked up by the tornados fled for their lives, their morale in ruins from what they had just seen.

When the Numbrian phalanx then charged, it won a total victory. Yet the Battle of the River Numbria was the only victory caused by the tornado hat. Trying to charge it's wearers was extremely stupid. Firing arrows and other missiles, even flames, didn't work as they were sucked in and often spat back out at the thrower with great force. The thing was, the spinning needed to make the magic work could not be done for more then a few minites, or the wearer got very dizzy, fell over and was sucked tens of meters into the sky by the very tornado he had created, to perish when he hit the ground. The way to deal with these spinning menaces was to keep well back and wait. An attempt was made to use these offensively, but it was a disaster, as the wearers were unable to go forward very far whilst spinning like a top without faling into their own tornados. The Tornado hat was abandoned as too expensive and too impractical, now that it's weakness was known.

A few survive to this day, buried in noble tombs, in old castle armouries or in museams in the big cities.

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Comments ( 7 )
Commenters gain extra XP from Author votes.

Voted Forganthus
June 7, 2012, 2:00
When I first started reading this, I was picturing them zooming around with flying hats, being all ridiculous and awesome. This is probably better.

They've got to be pretty powerful tornadoes to pick up armored dudes and throw them. Can I just jump in the middle of some bad guys and start spinning? Also works as an escape button--if you're losing a fight, just start spinning and you're friends have a few minutes to turn the tide.

How well do they work indoors?
Cheka Man
June 7, 2012, 8:26
Well, indoors they would most likely destroy a place.If there was enough room to spin that is.
Voted chilled
June 7, 2012, 4:57
Only voted
Voted Dionysus
June 7, 2012, 8:42
An entertaining and silly item. Well done.
Voted Kassy
June 7, 2012, 10:45
Only voted
Voted MysticMoon
June 21, 2012, 20:33
This is certainly entertaining. Good one, Cheka.
Voted valadaar
October 16, 2014, 15:12
This is a funny item -something good for creating a lighter moment. It could even work well as Computer-supplied item for Paranoia.


  • Associated ideas.
  • silly

Random Idea Seed View All Idea Seeds

       By: Almar

While setting up camp for the night, the PC's are aproached by another group of adventurers who seem nice enough. The road is somewhat dangerous and the other group suggests camping together. The two bands split watches, one adventurer from each group watching at once. The night goes by without incident, the next day the PC's travel with the other group as they are going the same way.

The group consists of Hordel the ranger, who is skilled with the bow. Hordel is a quiet man who speaks little but appears quite skilled. Dremar is a barbarian who is a little excentric, he seems to be an excasive drinker and thiunk that battle is the solution to everything. He appears to be a stout and powerful fighter with his greataxe. Ferrin is the leader of the group, a rouge by trade. He is daft and witty, speaking with the PCs often and asking many questions. He fights with finesse with his rapier. Preminitat as a cleric but he will not say which god he worships. He uses his spells to empower and heal his party and fights with a club. He sticks close to Ferrin. Ferrin is a great talker and tells much of himself and his party, but asks even more about the history and capabilities of the PCs. He tells of some adventures his party has had, and they seem like an interesting group of mercenaries. Hordel is quite and has little interest in speaking with the PCs, he ignores most questions. He spends a lot of time with Dremar and sometimes Ferrin. Dremar seems to not care about any questions ansked to him, nor does he seem to know the answers. He seems battle hardened and is a simple man. Preminitat rarely starts conversations but will speak with the PCs. However, some of his accounts of the party's history seem to condradict those of Ferrin.

The Party spends another night and day with Ferrin's group. One of four things can happen on the third night.
1: While eating dinner around the fire, Ferrin gets into an argument with one of the PCs when he/she mentions the discepincies between Ferrin's stories and Preminitat's.
2: Hordel gets mad after repeated questioning about his life from the PCs.
3. Preminitat gets mad after repeated questioning from the PCs about what god he worships.
4: One of the PCs rejects the offer of a drink from Dremar and he takes it as an insult.
All of these scenarios result in a battle between the parties. If Ferrin's party is defeated and still lives he swears vengance. His party may then cross paths with the adventurers again.

Encounter  ( Locations ) | November 15, 2003 | View | UpVote 0xp

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